Non-story lists are not allowed on this site. Please delete and upload elsewhere.

explodinghead
Member of Eliminator

This story is against site rules. Both chapters are non-story.
Solution: You can add a bit of story to both chapters so they are no longer completely against the rules.
Solution 2: You can move your OC info to your profile so you only use the story for story.

Etc. Etc.

Please fix or you will be reported.
Thank you for your time.

(Admin of Defenders)
(Supporter of Eliminator)

... *look at the dates* Holy crap you update it.

Expect something soon... your definition of soon :'D /shot

I strongly apologise for DeadelusIX's review but he is right. Please change in the next 2 days or this will be reported. Thank you.
(Founder Of Defenders)
(Member Of Eliminator)

This is wrong asshole, your dumbass story is retarded and wrong.

Its in chat format and non-story dumass.

Don't you dare diss any of my forum mates you asshole.

My second grade neighbor spells better than you do.

Learn to spell.

Until then, this asshole story will be reported as a violation that may close down this shit account of yours.

Your fault for being a know-it-all asshole

signed,

Daedalus.
-Moderator of DEFENDERS-
-Member of ELIMINATORS-

P.S. This story Sux :P

Well, since this is an all out crossover, I'll just as well join it.

Name: Brandon Cash (Myself)

Age: 15

Gender: Male

Grade: 9th

Hair Length and Color: None, since I'm a white stickman.

Eye Color: Brown

Personalities: Calm, a little crazy at times, entertaining, silly, hostile (when angry), threatening (if you REALLY get me riled up). Often Happy, but usually quiet and cool-headed about things when there's nothing going on. Adrenaline filled when something is going on involving action.

Hobbies: Spending time with friends (doesn't have too many outside his army and wife), drawing and making books, playing video games

Club: Part of the Game Design Club, usually the character designer, but will opt for quality when it comes to the game actually being made.

Bio: A legendary hero, who was once just a regular boy that discovered aliens he made up in his mind that crash landed in his cul-de-sac he lived in, Brandon is somebody who's imagination has really come to life. He often travels with his army for action and thrills, but for whatever reason, he always seems to get separated from his army. Regardless, he manages to pull through, even without help from friends. But as he fights a war somewhere in Video Game World, he is suddenly transported to this strange new acadamy without warning, and nearly turns his arrival into a massive hostile takeover. He softens up afterwards and joins everyone else in ther zany adventures in the acadamy.

Weapons: Anarchy of the Universe (huge custome-made sword modled after Nightmare's blade from the Soul Caliber games), tons of guns, and lots of lethal melee weapons.

Powers: Has tons of them, but the ones he is most often seen using is his telekinesis, his powerful ranged magic attacks, his technology based powers, and his bandoiler with which he transforms with. He rarely uses the bandoiler, though.

Dorm: Doesn't have one yet, as he'll only just arrive at the acadamy, nearly crash-landing in the process fighting a huge evil version of one of Kazumi's Camera Bots. He will get one issued to him after the whole "hostile takeover" incedint blows over.

lol i decided to put my OC design in the Review instead in PM (just like you told me to, lol xD)

Beware.. my.. OC is a little bit.. umm.. long.

Name:Squalo "Shark" Malicoskiev VI

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Grade: 12th

Hair Length and Color: Short, Messy and Pointy at the same time, Silver.

Eye Color:Outer-part (sclera) Black, Inner part (both cornea and pupil) Icy blue (it even glows icy-blue). -coz of his power

Personalities: Calm, Collected, Intelligent, Aware, Serious, and has that aura that makes people respect (and fears) him, but... when he

loses his temper, he finds himself in rage and bloodlust ( his eyes turn completely

Hobbies: Playing Video Games(a master of all MMORPGs), reading (comics as well as metaphysic theories book)

Club: Sword-fighting club, head of the robotics club (likes to do "robot-rumble" with his clubs, his robot is undefeated, okay only once

but his opponent cheats, at least that's what he says, lol)

Bio: He is a son of a powerful evil overlord of an recently vanished kingdom, his mother, an intelligent scientist,

giving him both his father's power and control over Ice and Telekinesis (including his father's Personality)

and his mother's Intelligence and heart (caring and kind, though he does not show this too often).

One day his father's kingdom has a secret plan to obtain a powerful artifact at the cost of this world, even though his father can

rebuild this world with that artifact, he and his mother, does not want the world to suffer (imagine having doomsday, then you live

again, remembering the pain), so when the plan is in the face of realization, he killed his father in an epic battle between him,

with the support of the entire citizen, and his father, with the support of his Army and his father's Royal Guards. He won the

battle just before the artifact had awake to it's full potential, killing his father, at a great cost.. his mother died in his

father's hand. Even though he has stopped his father, he didn't succeed to stop the artifact, so he destroyed the artifact, which

has not reached it's full power, and saves the world from a destruction that the world had not seen coming, making himself an

unsung hero, but he didn't want to be called a hero, because his victory had cost him severely and an even greater cost than the

lost of his mother).. his kingdom is destroyed, nothing left, except the magic chamber where he and the artifact was in. The blast

of pure power from the artifact had obliterate his kingdom. There is nothing left in the ash of his kingdom, except nature itself.

He saves the world, with a great cost, his mother, and his kingdom. His loyal troops that were with him in the chamber saw that

Shark was not himself anymore, he had changed, he is not the nice 16 year-old, warm, funny, full-of-expression man that his troop

know, he is now rather dark, not of evil, but of sadness, he became very silent, unlike his previous funny and chatty self, the

troops saw this and pledge eternal loyalty to him, in life and in death, for the sake, of their prince, their leader, and their

teacher. But most of all, they pledge loyalty for the sake of their best friend..

Now he leads a new life, while his loyal troops live their own lives (still loyal of course) and he is now in japan, which

somehow reminded him of his kingdom, and is now a student is Shin Academy, trying to fit in and be normal..

Weapon(s): His Mind (analyzing and tactics) and Rune-Swords.

Powers : Telekinesis (object moving), Cryokinesis (ice powers), 98% brain used (has photographic memory, very cunning and war-wise,

has an IQ of approximately 208 (standard test can't score his IQ), his versatile Telekinesis and deadly Cryokinesis makes him a

powerful adversary to anyone, including AJ (but AJ can still win though, Shark's his rival (can it be? plz let him be AJ's

rival lol), but with his mind, he can defeat anyone, and PROBABLY he CAN defeat AJ,IF he manages to actually USE it (Shark

is lazy, superdupermegagiga lazy even in battle he rarely use tactics, he only use tactic when his enemies gain the upper hand.

He can use his brain to flip the tides of battle, or at least even the score, only so that he can "play" longer with his

opponents,(THAT's his major weakness, he likes to play with his foes first(underestimating his foes), btw too lazy to be a

grandmaster (like sephiroth, lol).

Dorm :Shadow

See... lol sorry for all the trouble xD

Hyaa, baru repiu sekarang... Bacanya butuh waktu lama, Inggris sayah rada ancur XD Maap, repiunya pake bahasa Indo aja ya...

Owya, nih OC sayah (cowo gapapa kan? Dan sayah gak kreatif banget soalnya ngambil dari OC RP Shiroi-Gakuin... Maap!):

Name: Frau Rainriver

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Grade: 11th

Hair Length and Color: Acak-acakan, rada panjang tapi diatas bahu.. Warnanya biru laut kaya Minato P3 tapi lebih terang dikit

Eye Color: Green leaf

Personalities:Suka banget ikut campur urusan orang, baek dan ramah, penyayang binatang, polos, paling gak suka kalo liat orang disakitin, tapi sayangnya ceroboh dan anti-eksakta XD

Hobbies: Baca komik, dengerin MP3-nya, maen games, masak.

Club: Judo

Bio: Dia tuh masa kecilnya kelam soalnya dia bisa ngeliat 'penghuni dunia lain'. Dan dia sekolah di Shin Academy soalnya ortunya mo bulan madu kedua ke Jerman XD. Dia juga keturunan 5 negara: Jepang, Cina, Indo, Korea, dan Jerman. Penyebabnya ntuh keluarganya yang suka kawin-silang XD

Weapon(s): Jitte (tongkat pendek dari besi.. sori klo salah)

*Powers (4max): Bisa ngeliat hantu, pendengaran tajam (orang berbisik dari jarak 100 meter bisa kedengeran!)

**Dorm(there are four dorm choose one): Dusk, kalo bisa temenan ama Minato yah XD *digibeng*

Sayah liat-liat repiu Anda... Wow, flamesnya banyak. Berjuang trus yah! Updetnya ditunggu!

Waha! Akhrnya saya review juga, pake indo aje ye?

Hwehe, pas bc lag buset panjang bgt.. Mpe pusing

sesuai janji, nih OC saya.. Maap kalo kaco *dijitak*

name: carlile segawa (kai) *demam twilight jadi gini d namany*

age: 14

gender: cewek

grade: 9th at 10th

hair length n color: ngg.. Sedadalah kalo dilepas tapi kalo diiket seleher. Warnanya silver

eye color: ijo jamrud (eh iya kan? Yg ijo tuh jamrud? Ah tau lah *dihajar massa*

personalities: pendiem tapi giliran bacot ga bs distop, fujoshi kelas kakap, lemot, gampang terharu, mesum

hobbies: maen biola (walau cacat), judi di casino (maen togel kadang2 *dilibas*), ngenet, cri baito, hunting doujin (yaoi tentunya.. Eh tapi krn lu anti yaoi, yah teserah d)

club: acrobat

bio: terlahir di keluarga akrobatik, dikirim k shin academy gara2 punya tato ular di punggungnya yg didhuga bw sial buat keluarganya. Diem2 ada suatu oknum yg ngincer tuh tato (apa sih.. Gaje)

weapons: chain, shamshir

powers: badannya lentur kea ular, tatonya kalo nyala ningkatin attack, jarak pandang matanya 360 drajat (beh, bsa ya?)

dorm: mirror

gyahaha, lu ubah dikit2 jga no prob lah! Pokoknya karakternya gaje nista d..

Man, I was so busy with school! I hate school. (cries)

But LOL!

I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I wonder who's the mysterious figure?

Update soon!

Whoever told you that you could write must have been intoxicated at the time.

Seriously, what was going through your head when you decided to post this? It’s dreadful.

Do you take some kind of sick, twisted pleasure in mangling the English language?

Please, delete this.

hey! XD

man why do i wanna play pinball all of the sudden hahahahaha take that sasuke and the wrench thing was something that crack me up though i couldn't help but to imagine winry of full metal alchemist throwing them...

ishida's voice...never thought about that...it could be useful for me...i was thinking in doing a story with hidro and seeing as things are it would bring me more ideas...

oh i forgot to metion something about hidro you see when he turns into his demon form his power can go insane however as a side effect when he returns to his human form he can't stand on his own because demon form drains great part of his normal form and reduces life force...

the boys rulez yeah!

aside from that this chapter was really enjoyable...

hope to see the next one soon...

Ryoso: *dodges a dodgeball from Haruhi* okay thats it! *splits apart*

Red/Blue/Yellow Ryoso: Fire/Ice/Lightning BALL *Haruhi gets burned frozen and shocked all at the same time*

Ren: *roflmao* Nice! Anyway's I forgot to say this what I meant by mana manipulation is that he can fire blasts of pure mana but only when he is whole and he can absorb foriegn mana into his body if its not being used. Also question were powers of any kind aloud seeing as techniqually(sp) it wasn't mentioned being forbidden. Now excuse me while I make sure the Ryoso's don't kill Emo-duck-ass.

Sasuke in the background: SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

Ryoso's: Die Flare/Freeze/Bolt! *same happens to Sasuke as it died to Haruki but on a grander scale*

Ren(me): nevermind. *sweatdrops*

...truthfully, this needs a LOT of work.

OVERUSE OF THE WORD/ACTION 'SWEATDROP': Self-explanatory. Try things like "The group looked at her as if she was stupid" amongst other things. Try to be original.

CAPITALISATION: One of your biggest weak points is capitalisation. Remember: the start of every sentence starts with an upper case (capital) letter, and all proper nouns start with an upper case (capital) letter. Proper nouns are given names, like Fuuka, Minato, the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Eiffel Tower etc. Words that are not proper nouns include crystals, alchemy, blade, personant, etc. Also, the letter I on it's own is always in upper case

BEHAVIOUR: ...it's not the best of ideas to get into a battle, then run off just to get into a disguise. It makes you found out more easily. I don't care if Marvel makes it work. If it was me, I would have declined the offer to go with them, then go there later in the disguise. Also, I wouldn't speak for the risk of people recognising my voice. Also, Sasuke does not shout in annoyance. That's Naruto. If you wish for me to elaborate on this a bit more, then PM me.

BAD ACTION SCENES: The Shinigami do not die. They are like energy: they cannot be destroyed, so you shouldn't even try. However, they are not that strong: the only thing that they can do that humans cannot is sprout wings, live as long as they think they can get away with and see the names and lifespans of other humans. Other than that, they function almost entirely like humans. Also, more emotion is needed in the battle. And I doubt I'd need to use Susano-o against a Death Note shinigami if I could just keep it in an earth-based alchemy made 'prison'.

LAYOUT: Remember: a new line for every new speaker. No exceptions. Here's the acceptable:

-"...So... that's all? Nothing tragic about you?" Axel inquired, confused.

"Of course," Ginta replied. "What? Did you expect me to be some nice, yet traumatised guy who hides all his depression and sadness behind a smile? I'm not Naruto or Minato: I am untouched, and this-" Ginta smiles widely, "-is true blue. The worst thing to happen in my life was when my family and I had to move out of our home three days after moving in because someone- can't remember who- put pop rocks into the drains- how, I will never know- and the entire sewerage system was wrecked." Ginta began to ponder. "I get the feeling it was me... that would explain why my cheek looked swollen for four days..."

"Um, Ginta?" Axel waved his hand in front of Ginta's face, bringing him back to reality.

"Uh-wha? Sorry, I kind of zoned out for a second there."-

And the unacceptable:

-"Okay everyone, my plan is to get Ginta charging in there like a maniac in a possibly suicidal attempt to distract whatever the hell it is he's distracting." "WHAT!" "Aw, come on!" Axel whined, "It's a good plan!" Ginta was less than convinced. "Are you trying to kill me because I'm Minato's best friend?" "Of course not!" However, unknown to the bounty-hunting teen, Axel had his fingers crossed behind his back.-

LACK OF KNOWLEDGE: The more widely accepted term for these 'Dimensional Pockets' is 'Hammerspace'. Look it up on Wikipedia: it's not confidential information.

LACK OF ATTEMPT OF REWRITING: You know, you could have at least TRIED to write out the Personant description in your own words! And artificial MUSCLE FIBERS are in the human body! Here's a better one for that point in time:

-The strange figure said nothing. He- or she- was wearing what looked like a silver two-piece tracksuit with crimson patches on the sides of the hips on the jacket and on the shoulders. What really gave this figure an ominous aura was the mask: it was a plain blue mask with no emotion carved into it whatsoever. Snugly fitting the top of the head was a simple white headpiece curving out to the back, similar to a swan’s rear. It was attached to the mask by the sides on the top of the mask, and also joins to the visor-shaped headband that was worn backwards that covered both the stranger’s ears.-

I must go

hey it's me just passing by would you mind putting my OC in there actually my favorite OC the one with the name of my account in it...

Name:Hidro (if you need more about the name you can add it in)

Age:17

Gender: Male

Grade: 12th

Hair Length and Color: long and spiky, white hair

Eye Color: green left eye, red right eye (explanation in powers)

Personalities:smart sarcastic,and sometimes oblivious about things regarding the opposite sex but always kind around his friends.

hobbies:play the piano and training with swords

Bio: When he was five he has lost his parents and became and orphant just living on his own and stealing from others to maintain himself...although after meeting cloud strife (Final Fantasy VII) his life change in a drastical way for the better. he often hang around Minato Arisato or even sephiroth but he really dislikes Naruto and sasuke attitude (don't ask).

weapons: a sword shape in the form of two white demon's wings he has name dual promise

powers: mind control, he can change his physical appirance for that of a black demon knows as damnation that has consumed his right green eye (there's the red eye thing).

dorms: shadow

i hope it coulds be in there thanks and thanks for the reviews so far