Boy, if this isn't interesting, I don't know what it is. Normally, I'd take this opportunity to critique the story and give you advice, but there doesn't appear to be much to improve on. You're a very talented writer. Keep it up, and update soon!

Wow. That was so awesome! You have GOT to update this soon this is one of the best things I've ever read. Seriously it is! Update soon, please!