Of the many bioshock fanfics I've seen circulating this sight, this particular fanfics unique in what I consider to be three different ways. First, it's one of the few that takes place before the incident at during New Years Eve, instead of before it and after it. Second, the story has nothing to do with politics, religious beliefs, it's moreof a teen flick. So many times when I've looked through the archives, I see people who attempt to be unique, but their ideas seem similar to so many other people's ideas. Escape from Rapture, anyone? What's ironic is that this story is unique by not being unique. It's just a plain, boy meets girl type of thing. That may sound a bit offensive, but I mean that it's like a nice, clean, fresh glass of water. Or as you would say, "a small patch of flowers in the middle of a wasteland." I'll get to the third point in a moment. In terms of basic grammar, I saw very few errors, and that's excellent considering I'm a stickler for grammar. The development of the characters was well done, and I feel people can connect to them in some way. The plot went along well enough, and was well conceived. Like I mentioned before, this type of story among Bioshock fanfiction provides a breath of fresh air. Don't think you're out of the woods yet: there's still some criticism to be shared. First, I felt the story was a bit predictable. Yes, I know, breath of fresh air, refreshing, etc. But that is the problem with girl meets boy; there never seems to be a particualar plot twist that can spark enough intrest for me. The last piece of criticism I have is that third unique point I mentioned that I was going to bring up earlier. This was the one that bothered me most of all: this wasn't a Bioshick fiction. Granted, it had the same name of a place in Bioshock, and a brief plasmid fight at the end, but I really didn't think it followed the Bioshock theme too closely.The story was too... generic in most parts. I do, however, hope to see more of your wriring. I like your style, so keep it up!

I love how your story takes a beautiful, brief encounter and makes it meaningful. There were, after all, other people in Rapture going about their everyday lives, and this is such a perfect example. It's a great reminder that normal people got sucked into the hell down there. Thanks for a wonderful story. It was nicely written and engaging.