It may be that I'm depressed, but to say it's a great fic seems too happy. But it's a very meaningful one-shot. And true, in a bitter, solemn way.

P.S.- Google translator translates 'Mein Bruder' as 'my brothers', not 'my brother', so you might want to check that.

hey, liked your story!

but - actually - there is a littel mistake in one german phrase "mein brüder".

Either you write "Mein Bruder", which would make more sense, as its the single form. Or "Meine Brüder" would be the pluaral form.

So, no big deal, just missing an "e" ;)

greets

Aw, he died. :( Did he at least get back to Narnia then? :)

Anyway, I thought it was really good. :D But I just have to point out that the German word for brother is spellt 'Bruder', and literally translated 'heim weh' means home-hurt. 0:-)

hmm . .

would be interested in a continuation.

Oh my gosh! That was amazing! Your writing style is so poetic and easy to read. It flowed well, and the emotions were real and moving. I hope you write the multi-chapter fic you're thinking about; I think it would be absolutely amazing coming from you and the plot sounds wonderful. I've always wondered what it would have been like for them living during the war, and it would be so cool to read a story about it. You're definitely going on author alert. I hope to see that story soon!

A great story. Very good.

This was beautifully written! Your phrasing is very eloquent, and I particularly loved the last couple of lines. I have chills!

I would be very interested to read more about the other Pevensie children. And I'd love to hear more of Peter, and how he finds his purpose. (Because I'm assuming he does...)

Thank you for writing this!

I would be incerdibly interested to see a multi-chapter story on this one shot. The idea of Susan being a nurse is really intriguing as well. It's so different than anything I've ever read. This piece was very poignant-especially the end with the "soft blossom of pain" and "accusing Narnia red." Wonderful, really.

You've returned! Welcome back. Yes, please do a chapter for each Pevensie! I would definitely read them!

Lu

This was excellent. I've often thought that Peter's calling in England (if they had stayed for good) would have been military in nature.

It's very poetic, but still very *real*, too - it conveys the grittiness and harshness of the life he leads, contrasting with the softer language of his thoughts.

I actually quite like this as a one shot, but if you're thinking of turning it into a story, I'd love to read it.

-jb

Would love for a new story from you. I don't know if I reviewed anything else of yours, as I might have read it in my shy, fanfiction-green days, but I've loved it all. Either way. Would love to see an All Quiet on the Western Front style Narnia story (different war but still lots of juicy pertinent themes-very very very briefly I give my uninspired insight: lost youth searching for direction finds it in the army; could easily apply (based on this oneshot/first chapter)to Peter in the way it does to Paul). Loved that book. Anyhoo. Toodles :)

I think this is a great start and that you really should continue.

Deep breaths, deep breaths. I'll be okay, just keep taking deep breaths.

I would attempt to put to words the power and beauty of what you have written, but my words would be insufficent to say the least. I get chills reading this. Over and over they run down my spine. I can barely speak, let alone think of what to say. I'm trembling so much I keep double clicking letters.

You have captured the feelings of my heart, the longing I have for narnia...You must know the pain the longing I have for it, if you were to write this, than you must know.

Every part of this is beautiful from the flashback to the German, all of it. There is no way you can improve this. If I could only have been in the room with you when you finnished that I could hug you and kiss the fingers that wrote this story.

Thank-you...

hey,hey,this is very good ,I like it very much