I absolutely LOVED this! It was really, really well-written, and words just can't express how much I loved the opening and closing lines. Brilliant, just brilliant!

wow! i loved this story! the pov was beautiful!

This was beautifully written. Excellent job, even though I can't stand James.

Nice job! I like the writing style you used, and I think it worked well for the story.

--LoQ

Aw *wipes tear from eye* that was utterly beautiful. This is an absolutely amazing story. James reminds me a bit of someone I know (: Someone I love. So I can completely relate to Lily's feelings8D
~Rae

I actually really enjoyed the style of this story. I think it would become tiresome if this was more than a one-shot, but as it stands it was nice. It felt very much like you were in Lily's head.

Very well done. I really enjoyed reading this.

Like your use of phrases and how Lily how we see Lily getting sucked in for example--

"Her reason to live is stolen kisses and awkward first dates and deep talks about God and life; he has become her own personal confessional and there is absolutely nothing and everything she wants to say."

That is so typical of the up side of teen romance but at the same time that's part of the weakness of this piece. There is nothing distinctive, nothing that makes me say "I want to be reading all your other works."

All the Best,

Kerney

I think this was a grand piece because it brings the idea that maybe your love isn't supposed to be in step. I think it's got a good moral, especially for fanfiction.

Great job. :)

Beautiful piece. I really liked it. Well Done.

I really like the style you've used here, actually - I think it really fits the nature of the story you've written. And James was fabulous -- so many people either make him overly arrogant or soppy, and you've found a lovely personality for him that doesn't make him a caricature.

This is so sweet! I love the style you have written in, it works really well. I'm really liking the stream of consciousness style at the moment, and you have captured that really well, without making it confusing. I can just see the two of them sitting in an empty classroom staring at each other, and soaking each other up. Thank-you so much!

What a lovely, innovative look at this relationship. In general, I'm not a huge reader of Lily/James, but I saw this on the Reviews Lounge and I'm so glad I took a look. You don't sweep James' faults under the rug, that's very refreshing, but neither do you completely demonize him. This was a perfect balance and I found his character to be real and very endearing. Lovely work!

/Brilliant/ piece! I especially love the lines:

"He doesn't ask, he does."

"Her reason to live is stolen kisses and awkward first dates and deep talks about God and life; he has become her own personal confessional and there is absolutely nothing and everything she wants to say."

"I'm glad we're friends, he says. She offers him a quirky smile and says nevermind that, if there was one question you would want someone to ask you what would it be? How are you, he says."

I love the concept and the writing style; they both combine to bring out some really interesting details in their relationship. Nice work!

It was a bit confusing but the style came fromt he ehart more than it did from memory. I really got confused when it switches to first person:
Like there's more than that, or remember that one time you asked me well I lied, or I tried to say something in September, or this song reminds me of you, or most importantly I'm sorry, and I love you.


See? A little confusing. Yet you are an amazing writer anyways based on your other stories so just keep writing :)

Aw, how sweet. And totally true by the way, the pretty ones do tend to waltz out, but the funny ones tend to hang around... nice fic!