I'm loving these stories. Mori, so silent and strong, being amazing on the beach, and Hikaru showing that thoughful, serious side of him that I love. It would be awesome to have everything take place at the beach house, such an evocative setting. But if it doesnt work out that way, I'll be happy. As long as you keep it coming, I'll wait not-so-patiently...XD

L0L i loved it i cant wait for the next one yay! this is the best hika n haru scene ive read about so far

Hooray, another person who enjoys the Ouran dub! Even though you're new with the series, you've managed to keep the characters mostly IC. I'm interested in how each of the members will tell Haruhi in their own different way. You have good and readable writing too, but I have a tiny little critique if you don't mind:

- You should figure out when to skip lines into a separate paragraph entirely. There are a lot of passages (like when they're talking) where it's all just clumped together. It looks like you've spaced only one line for dialogue, but you really should space two times so they'll actually be in a different paragraph and look more natural.

- You should also add commas after a dialogue is finished if there's no exclamation point or ellipses. For example, -"Yes, why don't we" Kyoya suggested.- can be changed to -"Yes, why don't we," Kyoya suggested.- The lack of commas every time they talk makes it unnatural to read, is all. And at the end of the dialogue, you write -"It's her vacation, after all".- The period should be inside the quotation marks, not outside. Then it would be -"It's her vacation, after all."-

Sorry for the long review, but I just wanted to point out that if you fix those little tidbits, it'll improve your story a lot! :)

i really enjoy how true to the characters your staying cant wait for the next chappie ;]