Please, please, please update soon! I am intrigued by your story about Darth Maul, as it's the best one I've found that's longer than one chapter. I love what you've written so far. You seem to have a well-developed writing style, and I agree that you are only writing the story the characters are telling you. I love the tense situation and can't wait to see what happens next.

I would love to beta for this story!!

I must admit that I'm rather surprised by Alan's decision to let Maul wander around the ship unsupervised. Definitely not something I'd do!

I'm usually not a fan of Maul dialogue - most of it is terribly out of character - but you do sound convincing in this chapter.

Still hungry for more! ;)

A little too much talking in this one for me ("I'm not a dumb brute" was in particular too poetic for him, I'd say) but you're still keeping me wanting more. The dialogue was really nice, otherwise--really terse and with the rhythms of real speech. And you've achieved a nice balance between Maul's quietude and the need for conversation in the story--""Don't play games with me." seemed to fit particularly. Not gonna lie, I zoom in on this fic no matter what else is in my e-mail inbox. Good work.

This is really cool. I can't wait for the next chapter!

I like it.

This is a really good story! I hope you're going to continue it. I look forward to the next chapter!

This is quite interesting so far. I'll be keeping an eye on this story.

And enormous thanks for keeping Maul in character. Not an easy thing to do(I know from experience) but you're doing a very good job.

Update soon!

Tons of fun. Have I told you before how rare it is to find a well-written Maul action story? FFN needs more of this and less romance dreck. Keep it up.

You use "midsection" twice in adjacent sentences near the beginning; I suggest avoiding that repetition. Otherwise, while the chapter is short, I saw no other indication of it being a first draft.

When we fought, he seemed relatively inexperienced." Owch! That'll tick Maul off.

Here "Maul barely had enough time to block it." I was a bit confused because you'd never expressly said that Maul took the Jedi's lightsaber, only that he knocked it away.

Win! Maul has taken out his wrath on whatever happened to be nearby--the ship's engine!--and now we've got another conflict for both characters to deal with. Woot! It's interesting that the Jedi seems to be edging toward the dark side already.

I wonder how Sidious is going to deal with this?

Anyway, you have made my fantarted little heart pleased. Keep up the good work in this vein and I'll, I don't know, compliment you again.

I have to say, I'm really loving this story right now. I really like your characterization of Maul.

You've got some really impressive wording here. "cratered" as a verb--fantastic!

"tattooed from head to foot" makes me wonder what Maul is wearing here.

Thanks for clarifying about the age.

Capitalize "force" when it means the Jedi's power!

I didn't like "Come out, come out, wherever you are..." Too silly, too earthling, too extraneous for his focused thoughts. But he's spot-on in character elsewhere--loved the analyzation of both himself and his possibilities of escape--and that's so refreshing after so much bad fan fiction about him.

Love your prose and physical description, and now I'm worried about what's going to happen next. I'm really enjoying this so far (although I'd like to know why Alan is on this planet.) Also, I'd like there to be a sign of when you're switching point of views--you go from Alan's to Maul's without break, and while it's clear where one ends and another begins, it'd be clearer (and follow prose conventions better) if you clarified or picked one.

I can very clearly, if not see, feel the place you describe--see the colors of the lights reflecting off the water on the ground. Excellent.

Not to sound infantile, but, update soon. ^_^

Ah, very good! I like how you did the fight :D

oh, this is pretty good! Will this be a multiple chapter or a one shot?

Well, I'm not really into Star Wars despite my brother's best efforts. That being said, I'm reading for fic simply because you're you.

I don't know where to begin. I love your discriptions. If I could bottle the style you write discriptions and mass produce it, I would end up rather wealthy if i do say so.

I also liked the way you shifted POV. for me, that is one of the most annoying things to write. It was really well done.

The ending was also very effective as well.

"Maul targeted the back of the Jedi's head.

And fired."

Pure. Magic.

Impressive. I really like your attention to detail--small things like "Maul gritted his teeth"--and the use of "snapped" for the lightsaber ignition. The chapter was a little short, and I'd like more clarification as to how old Maul is at this time, but right now I'm very interested.