Oh, wow, that was great. Beautiful.

nice

I liked this one better than "Lady in Red" (but they're both really good). Making fics for both POVs was a good idea - it was quite interesting to reread the same dialogue with a different perspective.

This was...decent. But you could've added more to when Mario fought the ape. Other than that, it was good.

I really enjoyed this story. I could feel myself tearing up by the end honestly. When you mentioned Brooklyn, I grew a little skeptical (because Brooklyn is a real world location while the Mushroom Kingdom is completely fantasy, and it feels like a sense of disconnection to me), but it really didn't detract from from the overall story for me. I do wonder what exactly happened to give Mario all those scars though. I don't think Pauline would just react that violently to a proposal and it made me wonder if they had a fight over it or if Mario beat himself up in his depression or something. Nevertheless, you made a touching story, and I greatly enjoyed it.

Good one shot. I might enjoy reading about some more. Maybe you could write about Mario getting over Pauline? Thanks for posting either way =).

Aw, poor Mario. I'm not really that informed about the romance genre, but I can compliment you on your storytelling skills and your ability to express each person's emotions and thoughts. I don't have too much to critique really, but I do have a few tips.

- try to keep it in a single POV or third person perspective all the way through the story.
- if it's totally, absolutely necessary to switch POV don't announce it. Find a way to make your reader know the POV has been changed through dialogue or a visual marker. Your reader will figure it out.
-Beware of overreactions from your characters. This is my one and only critique. Mario just seemed to blush about anything a girl did around him. It just seemed too bashful for Mario's character in my opinion.

Final thoughts; I think this was an excellent entry. Good quality work, and for what it's worth I believe it was a very excellent romance oneshot. I expect your writing to get even better as you continue, and look forward to your future entries.

~Wimpzilla