A great story. Very good.

It took me a bit to read this one, but well worth the read. Hearing more about the Free sound like a good tale, well written and I love how they made the home.

So very good. So very original. Browns are also among the unsung heroes. Left me some very satisfactory feelings. I liked how you began. I thought it would be just another of those stories, where all the dragons are special, but no. It was much more than that.
I like the idea of all browns knowing but their riders not knowing. However, I thought dragons did not have a good memory. But that is a very small point, easily negligible.
Can't speak about the Free anymore, how ironic.
Derrin is such a contrast from Maga and the Free. How Maga welcomed a stranger, and Derrin does not tolerate. Being Free and being Enslaved.

Oh, my ... You've left me entranced. That's all I can say. This has got to be one of the best pieces of Pernfics I've EVER encountered.

Oh! I like this! I like this very much indeed! This is an intriguing and compelling story, and very well put together. I am extremely impressed. I like the idea that the children who are old enough to begin thinking on their own are presented with alternative ideas. It's too bad that one pretentious Harper thinks he can forbid such a thing. I only hope that it backfires on him as wonderfully as such edicts usually do. :) Very well done!

They're stuck in those caves, they never get to go anywhere or meet anyone, every aspect of their lives is carefully controlled and regulated, they don't even get to choose what to wear, or what hairstyle they have - and they think they're free? People are weird.

That's not meant to be a criticism of you or your story; real people do display these odd psychological traits, where they pursue one thing obsessively, and sacrifice everything else in the process, and can't ever see that they've twisted their vision and become almost as bad as the thing they try to escape from; but that is the sense I get very strongly from your story, that they've been alone too long and they've become unable to see themselves.

I do have a couple of issues, though:-
- Remember that Lord Holders not only have to be of the blood of the Hold, they have to be approved by the council of Lord Holders, and they can easily choose a younger son or a cousin, so the Lords are generally fairly competent.
- If I was a dragonrider and people wanted to address me by my old, uncontracted name, I would perceive that as a HUGE insult to me and to my dragon. T'lur seems to me to accept that very quietly.
- Their acceptance and relatively friendliness to T'lur (and other dragonriders) does seem very strange given their antipathy towards Harpers and Holders. I mean, you start a couple of times to say that one of the things they hate is tithing - but then you never really go anywhere with this.
- Since the children are brought up communally (as in the Weyr), and don't necessarily even KNOW who their parents are, it seems a bit strange that B'tor is thinking nostalgically of his children; it's not like he's going back to a family unit.
- Why the hell just browns? You're being very formulaic with your categorising of dragons. Not all blues are good search dragons, for instance, and just as many greens and browns are search dragons as blues (think of Canth, who was especially good, and queenriders are traditionally searched by bronzes). Plus, browns are very valuable in threadfall because they have the strength and stamina most blues and greens lack, so if 'greens are agile' amounts to a special gift, then that probably counts for browns. It just felt very... false... contrived... to restrict this knowledge arbitrarily to the one colour.
- I feel slightly unsatisfied with the ending; not exactly that, but it's the only way I can find to put it - I mean, you've introduced this very angry, restrictive Harper, had this argument, set up this face-off, and then - nothing. It's not going anywhere. Would it have worked better if instead of banning the story the Harper had scoffed at it, not believed it - and THEN we discovered through B'tor's thoughts that it's true? Just a thought; it might not be better, I'm just kind of talking round the issue, trying to figure out what it is that's actually wrong...
- It's very hard to grow crops of any kind indoors. What are they doing about sunlight? I think you should be looking at a short, fast growing season in summer - with yes, the crops able to be wheeled inside to protect against thread - and almost no plants at this time of year, as happens inside the arctic circle on Earth.

I did enjoy it though; it was very well-written and original and gave me lots to think about.
t-d

So it was true, after all! I wonder if B'tor means to 'disappear' later on, too?
A wonderful story, and your writing is excellent.