CHAPTER TWO REVIEW, PART TWO. Sorry that these list-reviews end so abruptly!

1. Butters isn’t even surprised when he gets gypped! Aw! And it’s interesting how Cartman cuts the person who’s the closest to him, aside from Kenny. Then again, his respect for others and their respect for him is not necessarily proportionate.
2. I STILL LOVE THE PART ABOUT CUTTING LINES. God, it is so good.
3. Of course Kyle knows about what’s going on between Token and Stan! I feel even worse for Wendy, and she’s not even in this scene.
4. The theme of Kyle taking Stan’s leftovers seems to come up a lot. Well, at least twice. Once was food, one was coke.
5. This whole scene ended on a highly effective and unexpectedly poignant note. It prepped the fic for the tone change in the following bit. Those last lines are about Stan and Kyle on the outside, but what I’m drawn to is that one notable look between Butters and Cartman. I wonder if it will mean anything later.

1. Kyle in self-destruct mode is sad and brilliant, especially since he himself predicted he’d be back on Clyde by the end of the night.
2. There really is nothing to Clyde yet, but that’s what’s amazing about him. He is so simple! He’s a little bit dumb, a little too unappreciative (from Stan’s point of view), pretty boring. Yet he is maybe the first character who I don’t get the impression of depth from, and that makes him fascinating. He’s profound because he is not profound? Of course this is a result of your being able to write anything in a way that is entertaining.
3. The idea of them going back to that gross bathroom is incredibly distasteful, and I know you know that.
4. Ooh, the importance of government in their society is so strong that Stan feels obligated to introduce Clyde to Kenny!
5. A close second to the Hitler bit, Kenny and Clyde and the birthday discussion is one of my favorite snippets of banter.
6. “Physically indistinctive” is a really good descriptor for Clyde.

1. OH MY GOD, BUTTERS’ BULLDOG IS NAMED DESDEMONA. OH SEKRIT. OH THELLO.
2. “Humping in someone’s private garden” is very Hollinghurst indeed.
3. I only just realized that Kenny’s arrival at the bar comes right after Stan and Kyle are lamenting their lost youth! How poetic! I love that they were apparently not very pretty teenagers, too, because most of us were not very glamorous. Kenny’s whole being is important as an exception instead of a rule.
4. It’s so insightful that Stan recognizes the difference between being friends and being respectful, and sad that he lives under circumstances where those two things don’t always come together.
5. I kind of get the impression that Kenny was trying to offer the peace pipe, so to speak, by offering Stan a smoke, which he refuses.
6. Teehee, Kenny saying “in my position,” then catching himself—nice little touch there.
7. It’s cool how you’re not playing into Irish stereotype as heavily as you could be. He sounds Irish, he drinks, he seems poor. But it’s mostly a non-issue. His region doesn’t dictate who he is, but it doesn’t work the other way around, either.
8. Only by the end of this chapter do I start to realize how sad and alarming it is that Eric sees fit to throw this whole get-together because he’s hired a pretty young whore to be his assistant. I think that you belay the reality of that until the end of the fic, which is amazing, because we’re all winding down now. You know not to spoil a good party.
9. It’s elegant how Kenny’s disdain for Stan is both subtle and unmistakable. Likewise, the last line is shockingly sinister, and that Stan can find some sympathy in himself for this uneducated prostitute from Dublin can’t be a good sign.

This chapter is much less intimidating, for whatever reason! You really had to say a lot in the first one, though, because it contains all the groundwork and the initial impressions and introductions. I don’t think it’s fair to call this update “better” because this story just grows and grows. I can’t imagine it not getting better as it continues. Thank you for letting me edit—it still feels incredibly pretentious on my part, but I was thrilled to see how it has evolved. I feel very, very privileged.

Now for the same horrible, confusing review method!

1. Their criteria for making men into women is so good, and I really do like it as a list, because it seems cheekier and more lighthearted. Stan’s sort of poking fun at himself with this recollection. After all, he has grown up!
2. We had a quick mention of Garrison in the first chapter, but this is a great proper debut for him. Smart, blunt, critical, in multiple senses their senior—Garrison’s role here is perfect.
3. Stan elaborates on his friendships with Butters and Cartman, strangely, by minimizing them in terms of his bond with Kyle. I love how singular that relationship is.
4. The food sounds so tasty and so pretty, and the visual of the champagne flutes on the marble counters is pure class. Kyle is foppish, to be sure, and you see that with regards to the beautiful (but strict) way he decorates, cooks, and entertains.
5. Love that Kyle is “hostessing” instead of “hosting.”
6. Isn’t it great that the very straight Butters in “I Came A Long Way To See You” has a rabbit, and the very gay Butters here has a bulldog? I like the way you undermine these tropes.
7. What we hear about Cartman before seeing him is some very illuminating stuff: he’s not uninformed, he still eats a lot, and he’s rude.
8. It’s intense that Kyle intends to purge himself so deeply of anything French, and I love how he does everything full-tilt. His passion is exciting even when he’s upset.
9. Love this: “My mother says I am ‘eating my feelings,’ whatever that is supposed to mean. The implication, I am sure, is that when I was with Christophe I was starving my feelings, maybe.” That is just an amazing interpretation, and it seems extreme, but it may be pretty close to the truth in this case.
10. Butters is always so nice! He picks Kyle up so many times during their conversation.
11. Like many outwardly innocent things Stan says, the “everything suits you” to Ky seems to carry an unconscious (and unmistakable) meaningfulness.

1. While Stan disliking Butters is pretty canon, it saddens me to see that carried out in fanfiction, especially where Butters is a sympathetic character. I really like him in this fic. I don’t think he’s dull at all, but I do get the feeling that this Stan and Kyle would hate me if I met them in real life. So maybe that’s a compliment.
2. I love Mr. Stotch as a vehicle in Butters’ sexuality!
3. By making Bradley a little obnoxious, you make it easier to accept his very violent death—though I still feel bad for Butters. It’s great how the final straw for this crowd always amounts to ruined clothes.
4. You know how much I adore the story about how Butters got his nickname, don’t you? And Marjorine Faithfull. Oh. My. God. You are too clever.
5. I’m glad that cute, chubby, balding Butters has a bookshop, as it seems like a suitably intellectual profession. (Everyone’s pretty sharp in this story, though. I guess the bookstore is a quieter kind of brilliance, though.)
6. I can’t put my finger on what has changed with the conversation about Tolkien, but it seems way more focused and symbolic in this version than it did when I first read it. With all the recurring mentions of relationships, the idea of the evil wedding band is really intimidating and relevant. The paragraph before it leads into that part with a lot more impact. And I love that Tolkien himself has become tangential.
7. Stan and Kyle readily sleep with other people. God, they are so complicated! It’s fantastic. Like the way Stan compliments Kyle’s ass and then takes a step backwards when he realizes Kyle’s looking for other hookups. Those kinds of things keep his investment fresh in our minds. It on a much more serious level.
8. Stan longs so painfully for Kyle in the paragraph that begins with “he looked across at me,” but after all his introspection, he responds with two careful and insufficient words. Sigh. Poor Stan.
9. Kyle being the one to defend Butters is a delicious twist from the norm, I think. Also, the way he acknowledges the big differences with which their relationships ended, whereas Stan is just quick to find common ground with Kyle!
10. The rehash of Clyde’s glorious cock must’ve been upsetting for Stan. I know it made me sad (though Kyle did redeem himself by being cute and thanking him).

1. We get some of Stan and Wendy’s history in the form of fashion and music trends throughout the years! What a colorful way to do exposition! I love all the details about their hair, which, in Kyle’s case, seems to be a recurring theme.
2. Yay Mr. Mackey! These professors seem to occupy their own mysterious world. I hope we hear more about them sometime.
3. I’m actually a big fan of Wendy and Cartman being friends, and I’m happy with what you did with them.
4. I still love the part about how Cartman acts in bed. Using blood for lube is just so…Woodland Critter! Obviously his sexual performance is a good indicator of who he is as a person, and this captures all of his traits: brutal, careless, unsentimental, manipulative, inconsiderate. He still gets what he wants in the end, too. He gets Stan, and he gets to Stan’s father.
5. Did I tell you how awesome it is that Cartman’s good-looking in this? I love that he is “pretty.” No one ever thinks to make him that way, but it’s so perfect. Also the Nazi thing. Also his beautiful mother. Okay, I know we talked about this. It still floors me.
6. The idea of Kyle damaging Cartman as much as Cartman damages him is too fucking delicious. I think in that way, Kyle puts up a better showing in your fic than he does in the show, because it seems like he’s too often the one who ends up hurting more.

1. I mentioned “reboots” in my review for the first chapter, and this one has another incredible example: the banter between Cartman and Kyle. It’s essentially the same old stuff—hey asshole, hey Jew, hey fatass, hey fag!—but it shines under a new veneer. Things like “move your monolithic arse” and “your behind has got its own constituency…” do I really need to tell you how great that is? Haha, I love it all too much. That they have some political relevance is such a huge bonus.
2. Oh, Kenny. He is so wonderfully Irish, and could not have had a better beginning scene. The visual of this young beautiful boy in this club with all these dapper older gentlemen—it’s great. From the very beginning, he is a study in contradiction.
3. Poor Butters gets so much abuse, but you have to kind of roll with it, because he does.
4. It’s really charming how Kenny asks who the Jew is. (I also feel like he’s playing this all dumber than he really is, though I can’t tell if that part was an act or not.)
5. “You’re worse than Hitler.” “Keep reminding me.” Shazam. Favorite two lines in this whole chapter.

1. I guess you’re never really too young or too old to feel old. Wow, that was a circular sentence, but it’s charming that Stan and Kyle are worrying about piano bars.
2. Kyle does know Cartman best, doesn’t he? I think that’s even canon! Why does no one else play up that fact? You just opened my eyes to a lot of new possibilities, thank you. What a great observation.
3. Weird that Stan drops his hand from Kyle when Kenny approaches. Is that because he’s interested?
4. I can’t get my head behind Cartman’s motives for saying that Stan and Kyle were together, except to make them awkward. In that, he definitely succeeded, and I like that this is the first time either of them have shown any genuine interest in something Kenny said to him. Love Kenny’s send off—“how horrible for whichever of you likes the other one more.” How true. He plays the part of the worldly prostitute so well, which is a great balance for all the scholars in this cast.
5. Drugs in fanfic seems like an underused theme for some reason, but I love that it’s in this one, because the presence of cocaine makes so much sense. What drives it home is Butters casually saying, “No drugs for me tonight.” That was a really sobering line, coming from him.
6. I love Eric’s summary of his friends. There’s such a mean truth to it all.
7. More of Kyle being a Jew, haha. It’s so cute, when it’s coming from him.
8. I like the comparison between Cartman and a bank teller, because it implies that he has had a lot of money in his life.
9. I actually feel kind of bad for Cartman. It seems like he’s invested too much in Kenny, both monetarily and emotionally. He seems to overestimate Kenny’s sympathy for him. Then again, Ken’s a mystery! There must be something significant in this for him, too, because he’s satisfied with their arrangement (at least for now).
10. “Loved the effects; hated the process.” Stan says this about drugs. Love is a drug, yes?
11. Surprise surprise, I adore the sex scene with Damien and Pip in this dirty bathroom. It’s so brutal. I’ve got Pip on a pedestal as a very divine character, as you can tell, and this is wildly different—it’s sloppy, it’s sad, it’s secular. I didn’t digest the “man dying the death” line when I first read, though…I don’t know how I missed it. I’m thinking about it a lot, now.
12. Damien works so well as a drug dealer, and Pip works so well as a subservient. I know they had a hugely negative relationship in the show, which not all of us fangirls acknowledge, but I’m really glad you did.

I'M GETTING CUT OFF HERE, SO WAIT FOR MY ANONYMOUS PART TWO.

Sekrit, I’m doing this as a list. Not out of laziness: this way I can fit more in! So I don’t have to type out numbers up until, like, 200, I’ll reset them at every scene break! Sorry this is inconvenient, but it’s the only way I can stay organized.

1. I’m glad for the immediate knowledge of the fic’s setting and the age of our narrator. Both of these would be self-evident in very little time, because your writing is so vivid, but they were new elements for this fandom and we needed to know them at once. It gives us no room for misinterpretation. Thank you for your clarity.
2. Stan’s disdain for tourists seems so rational given his evidence. As you are addressing an audience that contains a lot of Americans, that was not an easy task.
3. I’m pretty sure you did this on purpose: the line that references “the fat black chef” is really clever!
4. There was some subtle wordplay between bangers and mash and “the previous night’s banging.” Really loved that, because you have the tourists laugh at that joke before making it yourself in a non-obnoxious way.
5. Kyle’s stinginess is cute. It’s a nice quirk that you incorporated with some interesting regional and scene-setting facts. And as with Fake Hipsters, it’s immediately clear that Stan longs for Kyle, and Kyle seems to be aware of it on only a very dim, unreturned, but somehow charming level.
6. I see Kyle’s haircut as a quietly symbolic gesture. It’s a new start for him.
7. I love what you’ve chosen to disclose about Christophe. We get the impression of this comically horrible yet utterly romantic shitbag.
8. That this ends with Kyle saying, “My pleasure” seems to carry a lot of weight.

1. Kyle seems like such a cocktease in many of the things he does, and the breakup tale is a good example. He’s like, “Don’t you want to hear this?” and Stan’s all, “Yes, tell me!” and he’s like, “Oh, it’s such a short story.” Adorable.
2. Stan’s summary of Kyle’s type of man is especially sweet since the “they had only made off with the flatware” line places Kyle above Stan’s interest in material wealth.
3. The visual contrast of Gregory and Christophe in this is totally delicious, despite Chris’ being a thieving bastard.
4. Clyde is an immediately negative character because he’s introduced after Stan hints again toward his love for Kyle! Great placement. I think the only initial crime against Clyde is the fact that he’s boring, but this pushed him toward being a full-fledged antagonist. I feel like he is more interesting this way.

1. Love that Stan and Kyle have had sexual experiences with each other. That gives their current relationship a whole new level of complexity.
2. Their lodgings and professions say a lot about who they are: Kyle, living in an extravagant apartment with a vague and fashion-conscious advertising job; Stan the writer like a common man in a crappy complex, not above a little walking.
3. There’s so much going on in their conversation! The talk of pajamas and sleeping in the nude makes it sexual, I saw some enlightening info about Stan’s relationship with Randy, and the topic of escape routes seems really portentous.
4. Actually, I was very interested in their opinions of lesbians, so thank you for indulging me! That paragraph was written beautifully, too. Love the mythology.
5. Kyle says that they have each other. I think Stan wants to agree, but can’t. My heart goes out to him. (This is technically about the next scene, but that Kyle’s being gone when he wakes up is a “familiar sadness” is so tragic.)

1. It’s not just Stan’s house that I think is full of rubbish. Well, that sounds way too harsh, but I do think that both he and his flat would benefit from some cleaning—whether physical or emotional. His typewriter is the only old-fashioned thing I want him to cling to, because it seems like a sentimental thing.
2. For some reason I feel like I’ve commented on the phone-dildo thing before, but I haven’t reviewed, and I can’t find an e-mail where I mention it. Anyway: LOVE THAT.
3. Wendy is such a contradiction! She’s moody, but perky. She’s a strong woman who we are meant to feel sorry for. I like her. Her loneliness affects me just as deeply as Stan’s, which is saying something, given her limited air time. You wrote her (and her friendship with Stan) really well.
4. Love Bebe. The only thing you really changed was her surroundings, and all her traits make sense within this universe.
5. Stan thinking about Kyle right after he hangs up the phone makes me happy. It eliminates Wendy as a love rival, which makes it easier for me to like her.

1. Such a cute turn of phrase to describe these old creepy guys checking Stan out on the Underground! I love that last line, particularly “screwing in overly moist environs.”
2. It’s funny that homosexuality as a set of personality traits is a stereotype that hasn’t changed much yet.
3. Wendy and Stan met in the best way! I love that she’s so cheeky and sharp. I know you’d never turn her into a psycho bitch, but you did one better by keeping her true to her character in the show in all of the best ways. That she immediately knows he’s gay leaves little room for awkwardness later. Phew.
4. I like that Stan flirts back as a result of his vanity, not his attraction toward her.
5. Your observation about Shelly being more of a brother than a sister is a very interesting and justified one. I don’t buy into that nature versus nurture thing much, but if I did, she could be a big factor in how Stan turned out. She sure emasculates him a lot, canon.
6. The scene where Wendy informs a clueless Stan that he’s clearly got a boner for Kyle is not a new one, but this is a fresh reboot in a fresh setting. I loved reading it for the subtle differences as well as the things that stay the same in this classic formula.
7. I’m getting déjà vu for some reason, sorry if I’ve mentioned these things before. But I love how understated the information is about Wendy’s abortion. I don’t know how many authors could’ve conveyed such sadness by using the shock factor instead of build-up; I think only your style allows such things. Thank you. This is why your writing is so refreshing.
8. The whole introduction for Token is perfect. Love the subtle call to his ancestry with the “feral Africa” line (that whole sustained metaphor), Stan’s fixation on his penis, the fact that Token is self-conscious despite all the great things he has going for him.
9. I can’t get over how beautiful the Coronation chicken part is. The writing is so lyrical. I was so happy when you sent me that passage early.
10. I love Wendy’s change of taste with the sugar. It’s an elegant sign, and it seems symbolic. (Sorry that I see symbolism in everything, I just love it too much.)
11. Wendy and Stan’s gossiping is a very masterful means of conveying information about characters we haven’t seen yet.
12. I remember we talked about how Token addresses Wendy and Stan, and I whined about the differences in his hellos before you told me what you were trying to do. I love what you went with in the end. The italics give it such weight, such intention. Thank you for knowing what you’re doing.

1. All the description of Token’s house is beautifully written. I love the secret magnitude of it, how it looks smaller from the outside. The office is so classy and minimalistic. It acts as the best symbol of Token’s personality; that the whole place is full of books and knowledge cannot be a coincidence.
2. The sheer paradox of this whole scene! The way they speak so coherently throughout. Token’s rough and tense kissing. Their desperation, their control, their discussion of Wendy. It’s all really hot. I seriously can’t tell how much I enjoyed it all.
3. The idea of Token as exclusively dominant actually makes him seem a little insecure. How did you do that?
4. Wendy knew what she was getting into, didn’t she? I feel like this is the price she pays as a “scholar” of homosexuality to get an in with her subjects. Of course, this doesn’t stop me from feeling sorry for her and her situation. You wrote her too well; she is just too compelling in her tragedy.
5. I know I’ve said relatively little about it, but this scene is by far my favorite. It epitomizes this story for me: sensual, beautiful, and sad.

1. The ambiguity of the women! The way the photographer says, “We won’t have any left after a couple of years” is perfect, because that “any” is so indefinite! Pubs? Homosexuals? It could mean so many different and ominous things!
2. Despite that air of portent, Stan says London is blooming—but this is a very flammable prosperity. There is such potential here for disaster. I think we all feel it.

1. Stan and Kyle kind of play each other’s roles. Kyle just had a bad breakup, so he’s off having sex. Stan just had a good time with a consistent lover, so he gets drunk in a bar and falls asleep. Irony at its finest. If we needed any more reminders that these are not your typical characters, there it is!
2. Demonstrated best here is the fact that Stan is so willing to do things for Kyle.

1. I wonder if Stan went there primarily to make sure Clyde wasn’t still around? That this was a pale sort of morning-after, and this dull bastard wasn’t a proper love rival. I know he’s a nice guy and always goes out on a limb for Kyle, but this seemed so generous of him that I can’t imagine he doesn’t have a few quiet motives of his own.
2. The Wizard of Oz comments about Clyde’s cock were SO FUCKING AMAZING.
3. I love how the “Miss B” thing comes up before you explain it in the next part. That makes it so much more natural. Stan and Kyle’s quirks exist outside of our own knowledge, like any real characters should.
4. The last few lines are great because Stan doesn’t give a standard reply. “I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself” followed by “Of course, darling.” Not “I don’t either,” or “Doing what?” or “It’s okay.” He knows Kyle. He knows K

It's really intimidating to review a great story like this, but I will try. It took me a bit of time to read this. Nonetheless, I love what you've done so far here. If this was just one chapter I'd be completely satisfied! You really have transported me into another place and time and I really miss that feeling. It has been a long time since I felt like that. I just want to pick up a book that will make me feel that way again. I'm going to have to find this author that inspired you to write this, which reminded me to actually want to pick up a book again... instead of being lazy and reading jack off fantasies from 13 year olds on FF. I am excited for the next chapter, but that will be for tomorrow. (Also side note, your title for the fic always makes me smile... for different reasons.)

"There is nothing ever going on with you two, Stanley. Getting drunk off sherry and making fun of other people’s problems aside, I’m sure he loves you, but he’s a miserable man who wants very badly to always be miserable, and he will have to be dragged out of his misery kicking and screaming, you see."

That was my favorite line out of this story, haha. I think that that line is what defined Kyle's character for me in this fanfic. All of the characters, however, are very well developed. But I have to wonder why Kyle doesn't see, or refuses to see, how much Stan loves him.

I will say that your writing in this is very intelligent, and that is the only reason I can see why some people aren't reviewing it. They're put off by the fact that it isn't a short read they can just skim through and get a quick South Park slash from it - they actually have to become involved in the plot and dedicated to the reading, a thing some readers, unfortunately, are not willing to do.

My one complaint is that the giant paragraphs are a little daunting and sometimes a bore to read. At one point, I actually skipped a paragraph entirely just because it was too long for my taste, hoping that I didn’t miss anything significant (which by the way you write, I probably did). I can understand that this is probably because that’s how Alan Hollinghurst writes, but I thought I’d just let you know.

I haven’t read the next chapter yet, and I’m not sure when I will, but another thing I have to point out is that your summary for this story, to me at least, is indiscernible. I really don’t understand what a rent-boy is, maybe I’m just dumb. I’m probably just dumb.

Good grief, this is so excellent it's almost a crime it has so few reviews. Everything is pretty much pitch-perfect, and I enjoyed it (obviously) despite never having heard of Hollinghurst before (I particularly liked Wendy's assessment of Kyle).

Okay. Wow.
(Before I start, this is BurnAwayy)

God, it's a damn shame that a piece of writing like this has only got two reviews. You deserve one million reviews! More than that even, for this. I guess it's just that most people seek simplicity. Most people on here at least, and while short and sweet is nice, nothing ever compares to those who step outside those boundaries. You guys are the absolute greatest. YOU are the absolute greatest.

Firstly, I love the dialogue. I don't know how you were able to mix South Park with such an overwhelming (in a good way) British air, but you did it. And you did it well. Your characterization is flawless, as always, and there's that constant sense of sarcasm that makes all your fics so personal to you.
I love that you mentioned that Kyle had inherited some of Sheila's body traits. I was getting so sick of hearing about "scrawny, pale" Kyle. Actually, I really enjoyed your portrayl pf Kyle in this the most. You made him so opposite of the cliches this fandom makes, I think. He's forgetful, and seemed, in my eyes, slightly promiscuous.
But you did keep that caring nature. He holds onto things, and lets things bother him. You showed that well.

The way you described Christophe as being that typical Frenchman was amusing. They're such womanizers, er, guyanizers.

I don't know what else I can really say, in all honesty. I know that I'm bad at this. There should be a lock on this site that forbids me from reviewing. I just, really love your work. And I HATE that I rarely review. At the risk of sounding repetitive, I'll say that you're so admirable and brilliant and phenomenal and you deserve SO MUCH praise. I'm just said that I can't give that to you. I would give all of my limps to be as gifted with words as you are.

This. Was just too amazing for words. I love this kind of writing, and I love what you did to the characters.

Absolutely fantastic! (Of course) I cannot wait to see where you take this story, and I am curious to see how Kenny and 'Eric' are doing. Kyle being a depressing romantic I find quite hilarious, while Stan is obviously pining for him-but naturally, Kyle is to consumed with his own 'theatrics' to notice. Great job, and I can't wait for the next chapter.