I must admit I started to read your story AFTER reading your commentary in your profile... I just had to check what is so controversial!

And you know what? I don't get it... I don't understand those attacks and flames! YOUR STORY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL! Heartbraking and sad...

And it actually changed my opinion about that episode!
Dean's words escaped me a bit, I kind of forget about them! After hateful talk caused by Siren I was so shocked that I could just think about that conversation. When I analyzed it, I judged Sam's words as a lot worse than Dean's. How could he make fun of Dean's trauma from Hell?! And Dean? He just wanted to get his little brother back! That is what I thought.

Like I said, I kind of forgot about "banging monsters".
I really love "Heart" - it is one of the best episodes of the show (in my humble opinion, of course!). Dean's words were thoughtless and cruel. They were a result of growing conflict between Winchesters, a result of anger and hurt buried in Dean's heart.
I am not longer sure if Sam was "worse" in this episode. I think I would call it even. They both hurt each other in a cruel way.

Your story is really great, the tension during the scene with gun was palpable - it made me hold my breath! Wonderful story!

I know that it is not easy but please, try to ignore flames... You know what they say: There is no medicine for stupidity.

I can't remember if I've reviewed this piece before, but I read the info on your profile about this and I knew I had to say something.

I think this is one of the first pieces I added to my favorites list because I loved it. I cried a little at the end of that episode and wished there was a way to fix what happened. Your work did a good job at that, trying to mend that wound that just continued to fester throughout the rest of season four.

It sucks to think people would actually be that hurtful and comment/message the way they did. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, but there's a way to express that respectfully. Even after I've read some pieces I didn't like or didn't agree with, if I reviewed it was constructive.

I hope you continue to write because you write so well. So, high five to you and I'll beam some positive thoughts your way. :)

Holy crap, that was a dramatic and tragic one, huh? I loved it though. I remember the episode clearly, it was real hard for me. Thrilling - but man, seeing them fight against each other like this was hard as hell.But we all know,the later episodes of the seasons were much harder *lol*

The thing with Madison was kinda cruel,yes, I agree. Although I didn't find it that bad and I was content with Sam's reaction.But still, Dean saying that made my heart jump painfully, and I'm a Dean!girl !

You did a great job here, I really loved it.Okay, it's really schmoopy and therefore a little too out of character but I'm totally okay with that and that's why it's fanfiction and LOVED the Sam-kisses-Dean-on-the-forehead-thingy.

VERY well done!
Kritty

I loved your story but I just don't understand why people feel they need to flame others. =(

I'm more of a Sam girl BUT I still like Dean. I mean the show is about both brothers. So I don't get how these "fans" can watch the show when the hate one of the bothers to the point were they want said bother killed off.

It's like watching Gilmore Girls and hating the mum. XD

Anyway don't let the flamers upset you, this is a amazing story.

Lovely, really, truly, lovely. And I can hardly see a reason for people to get so angry over this. Honestly, I am a full out Dean girl (I adore Sam but I love Dean. I think it's because I'm more like Dean than Sam) and I think that what you've written here's justified by the episode.

And I know a thing or two about nasty PMs and reviews. Little people do things like what are listed on your profile. It's just a story. It's just your POV. And if they don't like it, I do believe there are more critically accurate ways of expressing it than sicking hell-hounds on you.

:) Congratulations on a moving and excellent piece.

-A. Dreaming

I don't understand why thie received such bad reviews. I thought this was handled well. No death threats from me ;)
Good job! =]

Muffy, loved this oneshot. A little confused at why there was so much controversy? Maybe you could explain it? French is my first language but I can understand english and just am not sure why there was so much in the reviews!

I found your page on the favorite authors page of one of my favorite fic writers, and after reading your about me page I had to read this one first to see what all the fuss was about. I too am disheartened by the division that has developed in this fandom.
I identify a little bit more towards Sam than Dean myself, but I love both brothers. I don't think you can truly appreciate all the emotional nuances of this show if you don't have the ability to see the trial that the brothers go through from both of the boys perspectives.
This forum of fanfiction exists so that we as fans can explore the moments where the show leaves us guessing, and I find it very troubling that people would show you such negative and violent reaction for your participation in that, soley because it did not mesh with their own point of view.
I applaud you on your own courage to make such a bold statement.

So this is the fic that got you nasty reviews on your PM.
I don't see what's the big deal is all about that could make the fangirls angry to you. I mean, I myself like Dean better that Sam, but this fic of yours is kinda make sense (and written with great writing skill, btw). It actually crossed my mind about how unusually cruel of Dean for saying that Sam like monsters or that Madison was a monster. But it were all forgotten when Sam said some cruel things also later on after influenced by the Siren. And maybe cause I like Dean better, I forgot about the monster thing and just focus only about Sam being cruel, and thinking 'poor Dean!'. Hehehe.
Thank god supernatural in only a fiction, huh. Those brothers some times throws words casually and at the same time take everything to their hearts. And the 'things' that they met usually got 'mojo' that could threaten to split them apart.
Anyway, do you have any angsty Dean fic? I wanna feel sorry for him and read about Sam or John carring and loving him. Hehehe.

I decided to read this after finding your profile. I read your note about Sam!Girls hating you and wondered what had happened to make them say that. I can now safely say that nothing happened. You did absolutely nothing to deserve that response.

That was poignant and handled brilliantly. There was nothing to suggest you were inclined more to one of the boys. And I cried. I really started sobbing. It was beautiful and you know what, I felt both of their pain. Your words really winded me and took me by surprise. I felt Sam's grief and Dean's guilt. I wanted them to make up and yet, I understood how neither could bring themselves or the other.

Amazing. As a Supernatural fan and author, I love taken moments from an episode and spinning them into something more. I like writing the emotions and the thoughts that go through the boys' minds at that time. But you did it more beautifully and brilliantly then I ever could.

P.S. I'm a middle ground girl too. I love both brothers, although I sway more to Dean. But like you said, you can't have one without the other. And, Heart was a personal favourite of mine. Sam was sweet and torn at the same time.

Oh honey. Damn. I mean . . .

**. Now I'm crying.

I don't know that particular offense of Dean's affected me as much as it did you, but then the aftermath of that whole episode was mostly dazed shock and a sort of floating incomprehension that I'm not entirely sure I've recovered from.

That being said, this was *perfect*.

I understand what Kripke and his little cabal of writers have been trying to do this season and I'm holding out a tiny flame of hope that in the end it will all have been for the better--which actually does NOTHING to stifle the pain of what it means now when it's happening--but this episode in particular left so many raw wounds in my heart.

I never really got what people meant when they said they longed for the days of season one when it was about the hunt and two brothers just taking a road trip that never ends.

I certainly do now.

But this . . . Wow. It was some much needed catharsis--for you, obviously--but for the boys as well. And for some of us readers, apparently, too.

I'm definitely adding this to my own personal fanon because I'm just not sure how else to reconcile some of the things that were said and done during that episode.

Especially the very end which, while necessary to bridge the gap for the next one, was, in my opinion, like trying to put a band-aid on a gunshot wound to the gut.

It's done with the best of intentions and in the right spirit, but woefully ineffective nonetheless.

This scene managed to do what the end scene of the episode could not.

And I hope you won't take this next part as a slight, because I very much mean it as a compliment.

It isn't a fix. Not remotely. Not for the BIG issues raised by the episode anyway, the ones that have been building and following them all season. But it did address some of the things that were said and done in a way that they needed to be addressed. Because, honestly, I'm not sure WHY the boys stayed together after this.

Except maybe they're floundering so badly, so off course and lost and so very turned around that they don't know WHAT to do besides keep going as they have been, together.

This story, though, fits in very nicely and makes that bridge for me in a way that the end scene failed to do.

I can see how the boys would have been able to go on. Still floundering a little and still not sure which way is up, but trusting that even if they don't know what's going on with the other, that they're--always and forever--brothers. And that they have to stick around to help each other or they're both lost and evil wins.

I also read your note on your bio page and, honey, ignore those people. It's just as you said--a story. An epic masterpiece, to be sure, but a *story* nonetheless. Death threats and casting aspersions on your character are far beyond what is called for in response to this, a work of fiction based off of a TV show which is also fictional.

(Though I am with you in wondering what our fandom has come to when the members thereof think that such responses are acceptable. Granted, I'm not expecting them to spout poetry in its honor if they didn't like it, but a simple, "I don't agree with you," or even "This was dumb," would have sufficed to get their point across without being downright hostile and hateful.)

(On the upside, you should take it as a compliment that your writing evokes such intense emotions. :D I have read many a professionally published work that has failed to get such a response out of me even when the author was obviously trying to do so.)

Rest assured, Muffy, that you are--and will remain--on my favorites list. You've written more than enough stories that I adore to earn that, and even if I didn't like something of yours, it would not be enough for me to withdraw that.

Maja

Are people really being total asses about this story, because I thing its really, beautifully well done.

I didn't notice that at first though, that Dean made the Madison comment before the siren took over, wonder why Kripke and the producers never explained that plot-hole?

Anyways I really think you did a great job showing how that comment could have hit Sam and the effects it could have had on the both of them.

Brilliant job and keep up the fantastic job :)
I.D.W

This review is going to be long...

First off, I am going to leave an actual review about the story.

Personally, this story was beautifully heartbreaking. It was an epic story of two lost souls that had been battered and torn to peices because of words that were spit out in anger and fear. Fear and anger...they can make people crazy. Make people say things, awful, stupid, and judgemental things. Things those people would never noramally say.

The fact that Sam caught that statement is so heartbreaking, whether Dean meant it to be or not. Dean never should have spit something like that out at Sam, no matter what. Being Sam's brother he should have known how that would affect Sam, but then again he was away for four months/fourty years.

I think Dean's fear made him speak before thinking. Maybe, whether it be intentional or unintentional, he wanted to hurt Sam. Sam was the one who had lied to Dean, gone behind his back. Dean could never hurt Sam physically, no matter what Sam did to him, so he used words. As everyone knows, words can be the most brutal form of torture. They can make us want to die because of how cruel they are. So maybe, although I truly think it was unitentional as far as the episode goes, that was a way for Dean to punish Sam, hurt him both mentally and emotionally. Because in the end Dean was the one who was betrayed time and time again, so maybe he was only giving back what Sam had given to him.

But like I said I truly think, unitentionally, Dean said it without wanting to hurt Sam. There is always the chance it was intentional but that we will never really know for sure.

Okay...now for the other stuff.

I read through your profile, that is how I found this story.

Like you it truly breaks my heart at the pure negative and vicious responses you've gotten. No author as brilliant as you should have to have those cruel things thrown at them. In fact I think NO AUTHOR should have any cruel things said about them or their stories.

The way I see it is this, if you don't like a story...
THEN DON'T READ IT, AND CERTIANLY DON'T TAKE OUT YOUR ANGER ON THE AUTHOR!

It's like the Golden Rule...

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

It's just really angers me at the pain and heartache you must have gone through, and maybe are still going through. It's just disgusting in my book.

What's so disgusting is people call themselves "fans" but to bash another lover of the show so violently...it's just plain dispicable. No true fan of a show is going to judge a simple story like these cruel people have done to you.

Whether your a Dean!girl or a Sam!girl you should understand that it is fiction. While I am a Sam!girl that doesn't mean in anyway do I not like Dean. There's a peice of me because of what you've written that has made me love Dean even more. The fact that he was willing to die because of the pure anguish that he had caused his little brother is just...amazing.

There are things as authors that we try to understand, but don't always succeed in. I myself am an author and it still get's me how rude some people can be...or maybe in there case it's "brutal honesty." I think there type of "brutal honesty" is just a bunch of made up bull-sh*t.

I truly apologize for you've gone through. I feel terrible at the threats and just overall hate mail you've recieved. But no matter what please remember there are so many people who love you writing because you are an amazing writer. If you remember that everything will be okay in the end. So just forget all the haters and look at the people who still support you.

I hope this very long review has helped you in some way.

I know I ranted at what was said about you but I guess authors tend to get a bit defensive of one another when another author is so violently talked too.

If this review has helped you then I have done my part in hopefully making your day a little brighter.

Much Love and Support With Everything You Write,
<3,
Kaylee aka snsw25kr14

Geez, I don't get what the big stink was. This is a wonderful story, really accentuating the fact that the brothers are falling apart at the seams here. I wish it could be canon, but the beginning of the following episode pretty much establishes that Sam and Dean never had this moment.

I like the fact that they were both falling apart at the seams here. Not just one, but both, and you really drove it home with Sam pointing the gun at Dean.

Dang you you're making me tear up. Despite the annoyance of blurred vision, I absolutely loved the story. Keep up the good work.