god!

I like this story. It's got a good plot and I can't wait to see what happens. So update soon. :)

I like your story so far. It has a nice start. Just be careful that Rose doesn't become a Mary Sue. It's good to see some of the other gangs being involved too, instead of just the Curtis outfit.

Please continue soon!

There's not much that I else I could say that some one already didn't. I like your style you pulled me into the story. It kind of has a West Side Story type feel to it but it's better because of Tim Shepard of course. Your grammar and spelling seems okay to me.I'm no expert so I can't help you on that. Anyway I hope to see more from this story soon. I'd like to see where you go with this .

For your first fic I'm VERY impressed. Some grammar mistakes, but a beta reader will help you fix those. I have a few beta reader's on my profile that will help you out. Whatcoloristhesky (aka Mel) would probably happy to take you on.

I've been DIEING for a good Shepard story. Thank God you mad one...and you got a reveiw from Mars *gasp* that's something I've been trying to do for a long, long time. lol.

So, on with my review...

Where you have your Authors note, Disclamimer and Wanrings I would put a line break and then continue with the story. It's not a must but it does make it easier to look at, breakes it up and all.

No Mary-Sueness here :)

Very nice start, I'm really happy that you've taken into considration what people have said and changed what was wrong.

I've always wanted to know more of the other gangs and you write Tim really well. Better than I ever could, I've tryed before, it's not an easy thing. Again, well done.

Up-date soon, I can't wait to review again :)

Your grammar and tense get screwed up a few times, but that is easily fixed. So far, Rose(I think that's the girls name, I wasn't too clear on that part) seems to be a pretty static character, hot temper and just a little too forward for a girl, especially in those times. Just be careful about how tough you make her, Mary Sue can also be one hell of a fighter.

Overall though, I really like this, and would love to see where you take it. It's got an interesting storyline from what I can tell so far, and you can never go wrong with Tim.

So keep it up, I'll definitely read the next chapter.

Not a bad start. A decent chapter length, some canon characters right away, and from the sound of some of the reviews, you went back to edit the chapter when people offered up corrections, which I really admire.

Her being transferred to another school does work for me - Rusty-James actually mentions this as his punishment in Rumble Fish, he gets sent from his school to Will Rogers (presumably) which is in his mortal enemy's territory. I know from experience that they used to bounce kids around from school to school within the district's here, and we DID have an Alternate School.

I would just heed the advice of making sure she stays realistic. I can believe a troublesome girl as long as it doesn't go too far. Maybe some '60s references (specific clothing items or records she likes etc) might help to reinforce that she's not a modern day girl.

Overall a nice start, much better than a lot of the first time fic that's posted here.

PS: I can't help but love that someone else uses Canadian spellings lol.

Seems like your off to a good start. Although I don't like the entire story being underlined. It makes it harder to read. Hope to see another chapter soon.

Alright, I'll admit I was excited to see that there was a new Shepard story on , and it even looked promising with nothing like 'summary sucks story much better' in the summary. Thank God, you wrote this. Or I would have been majorly disappointed.

Your grammar isn't bad, it really isn't, a few things here and there and that's about it. Tim is so far in character. Your OFC may need a little work, she seems very boyish for being from the sixties, I can see why she would be fighting and what not, just she seems quite boyish, which may work out well for you, or it may not. Just a little suggestion on that area.

Also, before posting your chapters, preview them, everything is underlined in this chapter and it made it harder to read for me.

You spelled Shepard three different ways, Shephard, Sheppard and Shepard. The last one is canonly correct.

You may need a beta just to pick up on small mistakes a long the way, so you could look for one.

Yeah, that's about it, I like it, I'll read more, and if you have any questions or comments about the review or something just PM me.

For the love of God, don't underline the whole chapter. It's annoying and hurts the eyes after awhile.

-She would not get sent to a different high school if she got expelled. Most likely she would have gotten sent to alternative school, if they were going to send her to a different school at all.

-Now I would tell you that girls don't really fight back then, but you acknowledged that, so just keep your OFC from fighting so much, and you'll be good.

-It's not Shephard, it's Shepherd.

-Your grammar/spelling is pretty decent. There were a few places were you need a comma but put a period, but nothing major.

-Your plot is interesting. So far your OFC isn't a Mary Sue, but if you keep getting her into fights you'll make her into one.


Mo