Amazing. Absolutely amazing!
It's a beautiful story! I could picture every scene with the game's feeling... It was perfect!
Please continue it!

First off, this isn't a review for this chapter, it's a review for the first seven.

When I read things that aren't published and haven't sold a million copies, I have this bad habit of looking for flaws. I suppose it's just the English teacher's son in me coming out, but I like to find out where a written piece can improve, whether that be in grammar or sentence structure.

So when I started reading this story, I was, of course, in the same mindset. I read the prologue and the first chapter, and started to nitpick small little errors that I was finding. However, by the second chapter, I had become so engrossed in what I was reading, I stopped correcting things and started to just read the story like I would a novel. I was enjoying it that much.

I've only gotten to this chapter, as life has a fun way of keeping me from doing things I want to do, but the story has been an absolute blast regardless. You not only writer very well, but specifically what you write is very good; that's something that a lot of people struggle with. They can either put very good ideas down on paper in a way that is nearly unreadable, or they can write like a thesaurus, but it's as boring as a rock. I certainly look forward to continue reading.

Must be a lonely and painful existence

Well at least shes improving, and is that child Wander or something else altogether?

What a fate, isn't it?

AGRO! T.T

Having lost a dear pet a couple of months ago, I can understand how difficult it would be to write a scene with pets dying. T.T

But anyway, the story is going amazingly! Wander is definitely coming into manhood and having to learn hard lessons along the way, i.e. what death really is when it comes to those close to him. And his visions of the past are quizzical. I wonder where you're taking this, and I'm glad to be along for the ride. D

It would have been interesting if Wander came across one of the places where a colossus fell. Just saying. Would he think it's just stone, or would he recognize the shape from his dreams? Hmm...

It looks like Wander and Mono's relationship will be getting interesting pretty soon! I look forward to seeing that. Chp 13 really was pretty sad at the end, since I didn't see that coming at all... ;_; I do see your point about Wander needing to learn about matters like death, though. Hunting is different.

Sorry about babbling, I mean to say that I enjoyed this little "present" and I'm looking forward to the next. In the meantime, Merry Christmas!

Wow. I don't think I have ever reacted like this to something sad in a story on Fanfiction; when Agro had fallen down, I pressed my hand against my mouth and even said out loud "Oh my" (a certain sad song playing may have influenced my reaction xd but still...) And I understand why you did it; I have done the same, as I couldn't progress (or rather: really start... it was right at the beginning) the story the way I wanted it if I didn't do it... Wander's development in the last chapters was so great; the dreams he has keep being interesting and tragic and beautiful, all in one. And the way he was bonding with Agro was so touching ... This, this crushed that all... He was finding his "old self" and now he loses this friend... Yeah, that really did something to me, emotionally. That's quite rare, I must say. And I didn't even think about Mono's reaction until now; what is SHE going to say, how is she going to react? She's now the last one from the original three of the game...
Oh and by the way, merry Christmas (in advance) to you too! :) And don't worry about the lay of the land; my playing of the game consists mostly of wandering around, but I don't know much more than the way from the Shrine via the Autumn Forest to the desert either and Grave Fields doesn't even ring a bell... So no worries about purist behaviour, at least not from me! xd I'm still impressed with how well you captured the atmosphere of the game without ever playing it!

Just finished reading all the chapters so far, this is great! You have found a way to breathe new life into these characters but still make them seem as though this is how they would naturally act, well done!

You're right-not a lot happened. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a good chapter. Seeing Wander switch his focus from being sickened by his attraction to his mother to enjoying his learning to hunt was actually pretty freaking entertaining and pertains to the story. I'm curious to see where you go with this.

I only saw a small number of errors, but it didn't take away from the story. Update when you can, my friend. D

It was indeed a long wait, but your story is still in my favorites and I expect it'll stay there for a while. This was a very good chapter and I absolutely didn't think not much happened in it. There was a lot of important character development and growth. I could just picture everything and Wander screaming "I am a man" made me smile. I love the relationship between Mono and Wander; Mono perfectly takes on the role of loving and stern mother, and yet there's something, something that belongs with the "old" Wander. And in a way Wander feels it too, but so differently and he's so confused. I love that tension. And I really liked the hunting scenes. It's Wander growing up, but in a way it's also Wander finding his "old" self again. The Dormin line was... creepy. No longer withstand its own beating... Doesn't sound good...
Anyway, so it was a long wait, but it's worth it and I'm already anxious for the next chapter!

A beautiful chapter. Is Kyle Wander's brother? I just see a gr8 story coming. Not much to say other than great job.

This chapter was pretty interesting...For lack of a better word, I'm just gonna use interesting. There is much truth to this kind of thinking. If there was only one man and one woman in one isolated place away from everyone else, relations wouldn't matter. So Mono and Wander aren't completely wrong...Their relationship is..well, interesting. I can't wait to see where you go with this, and you won't be losing me until you write the last chapter. )

I'm a girl and I'm not too sure about how women think either xd But I too think that this is a very complicated situation and society is far away. I think it's not that unrealistic that Mono and Wander start getting feelings towards each other, each for another reason.

I liked the chapter a lot; on the surface it's a basic situation, just thinking and sitting, but there's definitely tension. It's well woven together. Mono not aging is a bit creepy, but I like it, for it wouldn't be long before Wander and she appear the same age again and what will happen then?

I really like your language. I can't really explain it, but it feels a bit from the past, a timeless language but still somewhat solemn and with dignity. It just fits with how the people spoke in the game.

One little thing: "I would rather have died that live entirely alone in this land." - I think "that" should be "than"

I just now read the entire story, so this is an overall review.

The first chapter was wonderful to read. You really have put a lot of work in creating a history and it’s a very interesting history, too. I was really surprised to read that you haven’t played the game yet(or have you by now?). Your story really captures the atmosphere of the game. The description of Mono struggling to survive seems to fit; the Forbidden Lands have only fruit and some small creatures, but Mono doesn’t have a bow and has to do everything herself, which makes it basically impossible to feed on the fast lizards and birds. I have never thought about how winter would be in these lands.

The winter days were my favorite chapters. The deadly winter you described was really wonderful and Wander growing and learning to walk in spring is basically the return of life.

Wander’s POV made sense too; for a growing child these vast lands would probably be frustrating, as there is so much to explore but very little to find and he has nobody else than a horse and his mother.

This sentence: “It puzzled the boy that the horse seemed very friendly around him, almost as though he knew him” seemed a little strange to me. They’ve grown up together, so at least the horse now really knows Wander’s scent and behavior. And horses are used to living in a herd, so they need social interaction.

When Wander began about the two voices in the dream, I was like “oh right, Dormin’s there too…” And oh my gosh, those dreams… The young boy seeing himself – although he doesn’t know yet – and then his mother dying… It’s even worse that he thinks those are a foreshadowing…

Just a little thing I thought of right now… How old is Agro? At least sixteen years old, plus the three years he at least must have been by the beginning of the game. That’s pretty old. It must be sad if he dies, especially for Mono since Agro is the last survivor of Wander's quest.

Although the idea that Wander now develops feelings for his mother is a little creepy, it makes sense if you think that he is the incarnation of Wander and that there’s simply no other female around.

I’m not a native English speaker so in terms of technical things I don’t really know what to say. However I have one thing to point out. I could be entirely wrong, but in the first chapter you say: “for those indented to sacrifice.” Shouldn’t that be “intended”? My dictionary’s translation of “indent” doesn’t really fit with the rest of the sentence.

Overall I love the story. It’s very well written and the characters are developed and seem very real to me. I am excited to see how the story will continue.

I hope this review isn't too long...