 shara 2009-12-14 . chapter 4 OMG! YOU CANT JUST LIVE IT!
I MEAN IT REALLY AWSOME!
PLZ CONTINUE WRITING IT AND UPDATING IT!
IT REALLY A GOOD FANFIC!
LIKE IT, SERIUSLY, LOVE IT!
I WILL BE WAITING FOR MORE, SO PLZ, CONTINUE!
I JUST LOVE THE HISTORY AND ALL!
YOU DONT KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO FIND THIS FANFIC, IT WAS WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!
So plz continue it! dont leave it!
Its a really good work, i will be waiting for more of your amazing work!
See ya! |
 randomismyname 2009-10-09 . chapter 4more!
please! |
 Voltairey 2009-07-25 . chapter 4holy hell this is awesome. you completely stole my idea about lavi being the second crystal type though, lol, but it's all cool because this is amazing! seriously, the plot so far is incredible and your writing style is very easy and fun to read. i have no idea how i missed this story in the archives when you first posted it :( but now that i have read it i'm excited about another chapter ^_^
i also like how Deak tends to pop up every once in a while as well. it really shows how messed up lavi is in the story, lol. i have no idea why that entertains me so much, but it does.
all in all this is a great story and i can't wait for your update. great job, but i just have one question: is there going to be any romance (do you write yaoi)? i think it would put a nice edge to it if you tried, but i'd like it either way honestly ^_^ |
 Klien 2009-07-16 . chapter 4Great story. Finally found a good story that's not smut or something. hope you update soon :] |
 ThumperMiggles 2009-06-24 . chapter 4You tried to end D. Gray Man and left us with a cliffhanger.
Omg Brodie, you're so mean D:;;
Pfft.
Amazing as ever though. ALSO, RUSSIA'S ASS. |
 Sailorstar165 2009-06-21 . chapter 4Didn't spot any typos today. :)
O... I wanna know what's going on with Bookman's Innocence! ...Will Lavi ever recover from the shock? :-/ |
 Coldsoul1315 2009-05-30 . chapter 3nice story so far. i almost started crying when bookman died. T~T he died a hero's death. |
 Red Tigress 2009-05-30 . chapter 3Oh wow, this story is amazing. It's so rare to find non-smut stories with actual plot around here. Please keep it up! |
 Sailorstar165 2009-05-16 . chapter 3I have returned with my obsessive Grammar-ness. :)
"He have wouldn’t do to well in company right now." I think you meant "He wouldn't have done too well with company right now." And the sentence after, you don't need that comma.
"The world is slowly engulfed in the white wisps." Tense. You meant "was" Tense issues in the next sentence as well.
"You sacrifice is not needed" You meant "Your"
"determined that he has no" had, me thinks
"will allow you to summon you Innocence" Again, "your"
"“Little more impressive than a hammer.” Lavi said" the period should be a comma
"the pressure in his chest and lessened" "and" should be "has"
"a hundreds times more painful that before." "than" not "that"
Good chapter. Me likes the scythe idea. :) |
 ThumperMiggles 2009-05-15 . chapter 3Holy crap.
LAVI IS NOW DEATH.
Haha, scythes. Are so freaking win. |
 pika318 2009-05-15 . chapter 3A scythe...cool! Characters always look so much cooler and darker with a scythe.
On a side note, I want my cheerful Lavi back... |
 Sailorstar165 2009-04-11 . chapter 2Hello! Glad you updated! Now for me to go grammar-police like I always do...
"His were hands" I think you meant "His hands were"
"“It’s the least I can do.” She had explained" The period should be a comma and "she" should be lowercase.
"Komui demanded why she was spending" did you mean "demanded to know why"?
"He got to his feet; struggling at first due to his club-hands" The semi-colon should be a comma and you forgot the period at the end. :)
"as the door open, Lenalee peaked inside" The comma should be a period. Oh, and aren't Lenalee's eyes purple? Or did the anime screw up another color (like making her hair green instead of black)?
"than the seasons could change it was a simple fact of life that had" You either need a period or a semi-colon between "change" and "it"
"Lenalee gave Lavi’s arm a reassure squeeze" Me thinks you meant "reassuring"
Paragraph after that sentence you slipped up in tense. Oh, and "Today we have lost, not only" The comma shouldn't be there.
"He was a bit of a hard-ass times" I think you're missing "at times" in there. And there are some tense screw ups in that paragraph.
There were a couple other grammatical typos, but I'm a bit too lazy to type them since they're basically more of the same.
I hope I was more help than an annoyance. ^_^; Good chapter, even if it made me sad. |
 Plotline.Obsessed 2009-03-24 . chapter 2So sad... and so good! Keep writing please, I really want to see where this goes! |
 Aion Laven Walker 2009-03-23 . chapter 2So sad.. T_T
Great one! ^^ |
 Deshi-sama 2009-03-23 . chapter 2 Another amazing chapter! I can't wait to read more of it so...Please update soon! (...and keep up with the good work!) |