I like the first one the absolute best! It made my heart flutter! And it was so short, and concise, and artistic, too. I loveloveloveloveloved it!

I tried to do something similar, but it took me like four pages! You're a hacking genius!

Are you hoping for me to point out what's wrong with this one? Because I didn't really feel it either.

The beginning was fine--pretty good actually at "Dressed to kill" in reference to Mello, lol--but then it just petered out. What was the point in this one? I could see some connection to the lyrics there, but the ficlet on its own didn't stand out enough. The others seem to have much stronger styles and this one seems a little weak in that regard.

There's also a bit of confusion at the end:

"Mello’s voice was deadly calm. His lips compressed into a fine line; his eyes popped even more beneath his dark make-up. The calm broke and erupted in a brutal snarl.

“You sound just like Near.”" When you say the calm broke and erupted into a brutal snarl, you make it sound like Mello is the one erupting. But the comment afterwords is another paragraph... which leads me to believe it's Matt saying it. That and Mello is the one who hates sounding like Near. Anyway, I could convince myself either way who said it.

Anyway, the beginning started out with such promise (you almost developed a sort of ironic kind of voice with Matt there), but didn't keep focus throughout. That's where your finger needs to be put. XD

(And jeez, I feel like I'm so harsh on you when I leave these reviews. O.o)

Um, I feel like you're missing something in the middle. I, too, thought that this one is not the best of your lyrical chapters. I think the problem is that nothing is happening. It starts out nicely... and then when Mello says "I won't be back", everything else seems to die.

Because what does that even *mean*? Is he just trying to get a rise out of Matt? If so, Matt obviously realizes this, and Mello realizes that he failed. The piece loses it's energy after that line, instead of getting more energy *because* of it.

I *do* like the ending, though, with the sting of sounding just like Near. But I do think that something seemed to fall out of this chapter in the middle, and that's probably why you're not fond of it. I can't quite get a sense of what emotions/tension is in the room (and this kind of writing NEEDS high emotion/tension) in the middle.

Anyway, I look forward to the next one! :3

Mello. Eyeliner.

...Excuse me, I have to go... um... yes...

Lol. Anyway, great as always.

Wow... this one was unexpected. But unexpectedly good, too. I think you chose the right moment for it--Mello's all bandaged up and his mortality is probably forefront in his mind about now. However, I think that at the same time, this one could be cleaned up a little. I'm not sure if the line "Matt didn't know which god Mello was referring to" really fits in here. Or, rather, I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean. I don't think the point is *which* god. Because it should be obvious (because Mello's Catholic).

Anyway, I love the way Matt is shown taking care of Mello here. Perhaps (if you were ever going to rewrite it), you could try to do a very subtle hint of Matt=God/Angel for Mello because he looks after him... But I'd definitely want you to make it very subtle. And if you were trying to make that comparison already, it's probably a little *too* subtle. :3 Good work, though. I think in your next one you need to have a nice, solid metaphor to work with. That could work out really well, methinks.

Apparently you like writing a drunk Mello. And dude, it comes out really well. Sheesh, the tension in these is excellent. And I really like how it ties in to the "Song of the Drunkard" above. The mood and the characterizations in this are excellent.

I think my biggest problem is with the word "wiggling"... but that might just be me. It seems to, uh, childish? a word to use in such an intense/dark ficlet.

But I LOVE the undercurrent of sexual tension in this one. It's bloody brilliant, that's what.

D: This was amazing and deep and a little heart-wrenching. :) I loved it. It's like, God, Mello KNOWS - and that makes everyhting just that much worse. :D

Oh, this song is really just begging for that image to be used and I think you really used it. I like how you didn't (and you don't in any of the rest to your lyric fics either) use the actual words or even say what was on the car license plate. For some reason I really liked that.

Poor Mello.

Hm, on the second rereading, I find that something really great about this piece is how you really only focus on the physical aspects but yet it's all still from Matt's pov. The only part where you get into the thinking part is a tiny bit at the beginning to introduce that Mello is also aware of the car, but it reads more like simply description. The other part would be the line "Matt didn’t know which god Mello was referring to." It's still not too deeply introspective though either. I think that's one of the strong points of this piece. As always, good job.

"...two n’ three quaa— shit, two and three quar-ters." Do you want to know what this line reminds me of, dear? *snickers* Mohitos.

Tempestuous. THAT is a million-dollar word. Love it.

"The delicate lull that had formed collapsed, devastated." I'd pick this as your best line with the words choice.

Okay, now you say you really like this one, but... I don't know. I just wasn't feeling the emotions as much in this one as I did the last one. I think the first one had more description, the second had phenomenal dialogue, but this one seemed to not quite get the intensity with either the description or dialogue. Now, of course I think this is terribly fabulous and I'm mostly being nitpicky, but the first two set the standards so high.

On to the next one!

Ahh, the way these fit together is beautiful. And I'm not just talking about the last one- all of them are good. Little pieces of Matty and Mel's lives, they're very well-written. And brought me out of the depression cast by Nana. Very depressing anime... I now remember why I stopped reading the manga. *shudders* One of those mistakes you only want to make once.

^^ Looking forward to more!

I don't know whether to feel sorry for Mello or want to slap him. He's a genius, still he does religion to himself. Not that he probably wouldn't have a sore conscience after all the kidnapping and killing and whatnot either way... Matt must have infinite patience. Or maybe that's love?
Great, clear frozen-in-time scene again. I'm really enjoying these little nuggets of Matt and Mello goodness!

Nice idea with the lyrics, and very cool short scenes. Like snapshots of their lives together. I like it a lot and will look forward to more!

Dude... angry time. I'm glad you didn't try to go into detail to explain the origins of the fight or whatever, because by the end of the piece, it gets a little clearer, and also, it adds to the tension if no one really knows what started the fight.

And I LOVE the reference to Hal as "Near's concubine". Ha. Anyway, I like this one too.

Mello's "You aren't sick of the city" was excellent. It's like, a small reminder that they *do* know each other really well, and are really perceptive little geniuses. And they use it to basically cut each other deeper (while revealing the truth). Yikes, I'm really impressed with how MUCH is packed in here. And it's so short!

Good job! These are a lot of fun to read. :3

"Cause you woke me up, and there's birds outside, and I still feel drunk." ... I rather like that line.

Bwahahaha. "Hangovers gave him the weirdest dreams. Excellent.

And dude... for some reason this tiny thing is very powerful. The references to bees... sheesh, when did I ever feel that bees were needy? Or something... I guess they're busy, but somehow it just works really well.

I think also that I like how you've got just enough detail to be tantalizing. You've got a sentence and a half that explains "last night", and it's more than enough. Probably because something in this piece ignites the imagination a little. I wish I could figure out what that is, but there's something really amazing about being able to give more to reader with less, and getting them to happily use their imaginations.

Good job. I'm off to the next chapter.

Oh. This one seemed much clearly related to the song than the first chapter. Heading south with a women. XD

But really, I LOVED the intensity of this scene. Most of the sentences are short and terse which really help, but you let the dialogue carry most of it. And your dialogue rocks. It gets out all the emotion so that you don't have to flower it into the description. It keeps the intensity which I think is so important and at the heart of this one.

I liked the line "A car horn blared somewhere outside." It's a little detail, but it gives the scene a sense of urgency. I want it to be Hal in the car letting Mello know to hurry his ass up, but even if it isn't it still lets the reader know that this isn't a time for hesitation or pauses. XD

I also liked "Chicks like that don't heel, you know." And I think that's because you don't make Matt explain it. And that's nice, because no, Mello's smart enough to get the meaning and so yes, us readers do too. XD That and it was just kind of hilarious. XD

Nicely done, SlvrSoleAlchmst1, nicely done.