this is really long LONG story and kinda weard but overall its a

good story

P.S i'm a soujixrise fan

Not bad,not bad at all

Hey there, I read your lovely work from a recommendation from TV Tropes and I have to say that I loved reading through your story. I just finished it after beginning last week on a free hour. It was just so awesome that it got me so absorbed into the story. Plus, it's a fanfic of my favorite game. The length was what I totally loved about this fic. It was just satisfying when I managed to finished a chapter that long. Hope the sequel gets updated soon. That'll be one heck of a read if, that I'm pretty sure.

I've read this before, but I really liked this fic. Though, I hated how much Souji went through and all. But it all worked out in the end. Great story! Though, I'm not a big Souji/Rise fan. I still liked it. :)

Geez, that was pretty depressing.

I hope this entire thing isn't drama and angst, because that's just not my cup of tea. I would've closed it early on, but the story has its own page on TVtropes and they say it's very good, so I guess I'll stick with it for a few more chapters. I will admit that the end did get me interested to know just what the hell happened.

You did a lot to deconstruct the 'our bonds will mean we're always together!' theme from the game. I just hope you're able to reconstruct it instead of leaving the battered pieces on the ground.

Don't take this review personally though, because you're an excellent writer, and it's clear to see from this. It's just that I don't like reading things that depress me.

Damn. just damn.

i want to leave a more detailed review, i want to say so much but holy crap it was just so...crazy.

I think Nanako needs to get another power-up, and push Amaterasu back into her Wolf Form for a while. Amaterasu seems to have forgotten what it means to be powerless, to be near-mortal.

Nanako being the "True Zero" though? Hah, what is she Louise now?

What makes her the most awesome out of everyone though...not just the fact she pwned Susan, not just that she became, for the moment, the Nexus of all human existence.

But that she, when confronted with her power-addled madness, actually LISTENED, and sought the counsel of those who were within her. she actually double-checked, to make sure that WAS what they wanted.

This is why, out of all of them, Nanako will forever by my favorite character in this story.

You sir have made me spend a good week with this story. And all I gotta say is: Damn.

This is too damn good.

From how you conveyed the characters, the fast-paced flow of the dark story that never ceased and kept me guessing it all just mixed together perfectly into one of the best Persona... No one of the BEST fanfics i've ever read.

I do have a small compliant though: The part were Souji and Naoto lived felt like the ending was a bit of a copout to me. Overall though it was a fantastic ending and i couldn't help but notice your making a sequal.

Nicely done sir, it's an honor to have writers like you here.

Till then,

I MadeULook

Okay, so, I just spent loads of time reading this. Or, at least, it felt like loads of time.

There were some things I didn't agree with and some things I loved. I definitely liked the pairing, since I (Surprisingly) like Rise a lot. I think my favorite character was Ryotaro though! His Shadow beat-down was just epic and amazing, and he's been a steady rock throughout the whole story. Nanako bothered me - both before she was 'herself', and even afterwards. Chie, Yosuke, and Teddy felt the most real to me. I was a little sad it took so long to get Kanji in there, haha. There were also several beautiful one-liners and brief comedy-relief moments that were very well placed and made me smile. And for a fairly dark story, you still managed to give it a happy ending, which I'm glad of.

My absolutely favorite parts were the few times you referenced P3. And Theo. I also liked Igor a lot. This whole take on a Heavenly political war definitely had me frowning, if only because of how used they were (But then, that was kind of the point of the story!). I admire their resolve and how they managed to get through it all. The fact their Persona's were taken away kind of sucked to me, but I was mollified by the open-ended things Ameterasu mentioned about them possibly coming back. I suppose I was rather (okay, definitely) disappointed that Ryotaro's Persona was the same as Shinjiro's, but that Shinji wasn't even referenced.

The ending was interesting, if rather foreboding. Overall, it was a nice way to pass the time and I enjoyed reading it! Thank you for writing it.

so it's still a rilly good story etc etc i haven't got much else to say XD

I'll have to keep reading it, but now I'm gonna go sleep.

I can't believe I've been reading this for like the past 4 hours XDD

This is a really, really good story _; I feel so hollow about what's happening to everybody, though, but at least Rise remembers :3

I couldn't think of 'Astrid' without my jumping to How to Train Your Dragon though XDDD;

I knew there was something funny about her...

Dream sequence really good, too o:

However, there was one really small, minor nitpicky thing I have to say... And I'm not sure if I'm being oversensitive, given I lurk on fanficrants a lot and hear a lot of people complaining about insensitive wording that upsets them, but this line

'While he was secure enough in his masculinity for that not to bother him'

in relation to being gay kind of rubbed me up the wrong way; like it was implying gay men weren't really men...

I think I might be being oversensitive, and I'm not going to let a small thing like that ruin the story, but I think sexuality would be a better substitute for masculinity. It doesn't have as many unfortunate implications XD

I'm not sure how to describe this. On one hand its fast paced, full of action and descriptive. On the other hand, the tension among characters gets unbelievable to the point I find it annoying because you frequently use it as a plot device more then any other, the so called main character souji spends 23 chapters getting his ass kicked while wallowing in angst and self hate. The ending with throw god thing is pretty fresh though.

I bet you didn't expect you'd still be getting reviews but I just have to say how great your writing is. You know just how the characters would react and you describe it beautifully. As a fellow writer, I only wished I had as much talent as you do in writing. If you wrote a novel, then I would buy without a second thought.

Hey you! Yes you! Have you heard about the Persona 4 anime?

Well, you deserve to. Weirdly, Souji's name is Yue Taka-something.

yaaay!

I loved the story. And while I would have loved to see humans beat gods with their powers, not another god's, I feel it worked great. The ending I loved, as in the end Amaterasu didn't won. I love those kind of silent defeats.

Chapter 20

She started to wipe her hand on her dress, but Yukiko took her wrist.

"No, like this." She wiped the back of Margaret's hand on Teddie's shirt. "We girls call that 'Return to Sender'."

[Points 1]

Why do guys have to insult each other all the time?"

"It's a lot more masculine than saying, 'You're looking good today'," Taro said.

[Well, it is a comic diversion of sorts]

I will not underestimate them,

[“…because I am invincible!”]

Open mouth, insert foot, she thought.

[Hey, I think it’s a great Fic]

Chapter 21

I still cant believe

[can’t]

they went through that puddle like it was water, right? The TVs are just like that."

"Um, the puddle is water," Yosuke said.

Chie smacked him on the shoulder.

[Points 1]

You taught her?"

"Well, don't sound so surprised," Souji said.

"I'm not, I just – wow, I wish I'd thought of that years ago."

[Face-to-palm moment]

What he hell is

[the]

but with a long katana strapped to his waist

[I just wanted to point out that the legend of the Kusanagi no Tsurugi existed long before the katana; more likely the sword is a double-edged long sword and probably bronze. If it resembles the katana family of blades then it would most likely resemble the straight-edged predecessor: the chokutou]

Chapter 22

Amaterasu, take me, not her."

[I notice that they all seem to be thinking that one’s got to go for the 2 to live, but all Amaterasu said was that they need an infusion. Why aren’t they just pooling everything they’ve got? Or, why hasn’t anybody else come up with this? The verbage seemed to clearly indicate a general level, not ‘from one other person’]

"How 'bout we not antagonize the goddess right now,"

[Yosuke’s a smart guy]

Chapter 23

to be a the airport

[at]

many times to I have

[do]

"Man, you'd get excited about going to the dry cleaners," Yosuke said.

"You mean we're going there too? Yyyeeesss!"

[Points 1]

Very well done. I thought the plot flowed fairly well and the characters felt believable (in the case of those not really depicted in the games) or true to form for those that were. A few ‘bumps in the road’ when things may have been a tad contrived, but those were pleasantly few and far in between.