Okay, now I have to say, you completely got me with Jimmy O'Brannon and his stories! After reading that I just feel the urge to read more! It is really good work. Very authentic, as if Jimmy really existed in J.K's world, just living in America!
Jimmy also reminds me a bit of Harry, his character, the way he acts and so on. I like him. :) I think it is a really good idea to write something like that. Something, from the sight of another wizard from another country who experiences the same things, like going to school, growing up, facing the fear of Voldermorts possible return.
And now I'll hop to the next story. ;)

Lisa

Story: 7/10. The story flows really well and is very understandable, but I think that the second section is much stronger than the first. For one thing, I think that you spend a little too long telling us about Riddikulus which is information that the reader already knows. Mostly, though, the conflict in the first section just doesn't feel genuine to me. I mean, I get that teenagers sometimes tease each other over stupid stuff, but all this drama over Jimmy being scared of wasps (which seems like a perfectly legitimate thing to be scared of by the way -- like you said, a whole swarm could do some damage and a lot of people have bee allergies) just seems a little odd. And it seems like Jimmy could have ignored the teasing. The second section, by contrast, gets into some real personal conflict for the character which I like.

Characters: 7.5/10. Jimmy is a moderately well developed character as always and very guy-ish which is refreshing. In the first section I'm kind of having this problem with him because it seems like he is way overreacting to something that isn't that big a deal which, when it happens in stories, can have opposite of the intended effect and makes him seem pretty unsympathetic for a while.

Creativity: 7.75/10. I've read a lot of Boggart stories before and I think that you maybe spend a little too much time explaining that aspect of things, but it is refreshing to see a well written story set in America and your OCs are pretty original.

Writing: 8.75/10. Your writing is very correct and readable and your style works well for the character and the fic. To me, occasionally a phrase or a bit of dialogue will seem a little cheesy, but overall your writing really works well.

Believability: 7/10. I feel like this fits into the Harry Potter world really well even though it is set in America. On the downside, I was hoping to see a little more difference between the British and American wizarding cultures. Also, like I said, the conflict doesn’t seem genuine.

Overall: 7.5/10. You are a really good writer and you create a pretty interesting character. My issue is that you present the conflict in the beginning of the fic as being more dramatic than it perhaps should be.

You know, now I think I like your Headmistress even more. You offer a very believable explanation of the reasons for the Boggart lessons being held in public and not separately. And, as always, Jimmy is fascinating. I felt so sorry for poor Rosa, though...

I really liked this, and I sympathize with Jimmy. I'm the same way with yellow jackets. I'm nearly 21 and I still freak out when one gets near me. It's really annoying during my family's annual camping trip.

And I loved the conversation with Jimmy and Headmistress Esmeralda, I really like that woman.

Wasps are a logical fear! Great story!

Excellent job. Personally, I would have turned Mather into a giant slime ball or a slug, but the fish face was pretty good. The premise is very good--you never realize what you're capable of doing until you face a really rough situation.

Hope you get another chapter of Dark Horizon or Midnight's Blood up soon. Have a great weekend.

Wow.

That was some intense subject material - just the sort of thing I love to delve into with Violar, so you have probably noticed. (And I am far from finished with her, believe me. That poor centaur suffered a lot at the hands of her ruthless writer.) Fear is both a good thing and a bad thing, and that quote you placed at the beginning of this chapter - "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" - is such a profound statement that it deserves much expounding on.

Having not read Harry Potter myself (I got through the first four chapters of the Sorcerer's Stone), I don't know much about Boggart lore. If you made up "Riddikulus!" and that whole exercise of changing your worst fear into something comical... Very clever. *grins* That whole segment was beautifully done.

My favorite part had to be this:

Jimmy’s teeth ground together as he scrubbed the pot in the kitchen sink. After inspecting it to make sure every last speck of grim had been removed, he slammed it on the counter next to him. Snorting, he looked back at the sink, and the dozen other pots he still had to clean . . . without magic!

This sucks.

*

Jazzcat

First, I'm rather shocked that Rosa's Boggart is oddly similar to my Daphne's. You did a very good job with hers, conveying that she fears abandonment and that no one would love her after her parents died.

This was such a cool story. You developed Jimmy's humility and anger well throughout the piece, and the talk with Headmistress Esmeralda was very well done. Very believable meditation of what fear is and courage. She handled Jimmy admirably, and she's a helluva lot more straightforward that Dumbledore.

Great job!