|Reviews for Survivor: Vampire Island|
| Master of the Boot 7/3/09 . chapter 9
In terms of quality as well as lengh, this chapter is thus far the best one you've written. The previous ones were good, but this thing is a whole new breed of good. You've broken your old boundaries and you've gone all out. I'm proud of you, foxy mamma.
I'd forgotten about Alice and the big friggin rodent. Rousy was so cute in this thing. The mental image of little Alice carrying a huge rodent like that is hilarious.
Musical chairs was also great. I'm ever so happy that Edward won that match. Beat that old bastard, Walter. He elbowed Integra in the face, he must burn. He must also burn for his betrayal in the manga. Nifty use of Edward's mind reading talent.
When I first read this part about the TV, I was like "Alright, it'll be cute to see a bit of Nessie in this." And then . . . woah partner. This little plot twist was the best, in fact, I'd find this exact thing under the definition of plot twist. I can't express to you how much I liked the part where the Major shows his hand.
I have a feeling now that the nature of the games is going to change very much. The games will become deadlier, the stakes ever higher, or so my instincts tell me. I'm liking this turn of developments very much.
One thing that really impressed me was the changes that took place in each person when the TV came on. Integra is wary, Seras misses her weapons, Edward freaks out about Bella's safety and Rose is ready to kill.
My favorite things though were the changes that came over Alucard and Jasper. Jasper stops being the slacker, (which I totally imagine him as) and Alucard takes things seriously. I like how Jasper is like the group leader. I can DEFINITELY SEE THAT! Jasper is the noble leader. Alucard is the wise guy, the thug, the goon, the guy who's not afraid to get his hands dirty.
In combat, I fully expect Alucard and Jasper to take the lead. They're like two sides of the warrior coin, good and evil.
It was hilarious what Alucard did to the camera. FIrst he mauls the thing, then he flings it into the sea and then he threatens the camera man with a piece of sharp glass. I can't possibly ask you for any more.
OH, reminder, you promised me and many of the girls a shirtless Alucard. Sorry, had to bring it up.
Master of the Boot
| marora 7/2/09 . chapter 8
I refuse to apologise for the fact that I despise Twilight. I hope Alucard eats them all.
Seriously though, this is getting pretty good. I really like the way it's playing out. And you're a talented writer too.
| xanimefanx14x 6/21/09 . chapter 1
WOW. i love the entire thing so far, but one thing: KEEP WRITING! i've beene waiting FOREVER for the next chapter!
there is a next chapter, right?
anyway, i'm not gonna say a lot, just that i love the suspense and all of the romance situations, so to speak. What's up with Alucard and Rosalie, anyway? does he want her to break, or does he just... want her?
| Weak-chan 6/19/09 . chapter 8
Alright, I am not going to review/beta this at the moment, because it is 6 AM and I have not slept, but I /am/ going to say that I refuse to let you let Alucard make out with Alice! *pouts*
Now, Edward, on the other hand, is and absolutely wonderful substitute. :3
...I'll finish the review later, sorry for the delay. ;
| fallen monkey 6/15/09 . chapter 8
Whoa, what a close-to-catharsis moment between the vamps! Intense. We have seen the undercurrent of tension up to this point, but now it's been set to boil. I'm learning enough about Hellsing to understand that Alucard cannot defy his master's demands, yet with the gloves so off right now between him and the Cullens and Rosalie clearly not giving a crap who she offends, I just visualize the twisted threads of a rope snapping one by one over an open flame...the suspense is heightening as to how long the Cullens can remain sympathetic to Integra and Walter, as there is evidently little that the loyal-to-the-chicks Serras can do should Alucard get his way.
I thought the chapter opened just fine. I was intrigued by the fragmented snapshots of each contestant's reactions to the Tribal Council vote, as it made me question first, who got voted off, and second, what the events exactly were that transpired since the ending of Chapter 7. It's an "in media res" device of starting a story (in this case, chapter) in the middle of the action rather than the beginning, as to do it the same every time can become monotonous/formulaic, and THAT'S what can lose a reader's interest. Also, the inclusion of the song lyrics as of Chapter 7 has been a fun new element in the narration. Each song choice provides insight into each character, so I have to disagree with geophf about your Chapter 8 selection-you didn't pick the song because it's a song YOU like, but because it's what EMMETT would like. If the reader doesn't like it, they can take a flying leap because to choose otherwise would run counter to consistent characterization, or to eliminate it altogether would remove a whimsical aspect that I, as a reader, DO find appealing. As this review forum itself exemplifies, we are all entitled to different opinions on what we like or don't like in what we read; there could never be consensus.
Am thoroughly impressed with the backstories you continue to create and elaborate upon (i.e., Carlisle and Alucard's participation in the war and Jasper's "dementor" story). They sound as though derived from nonfictional accounts one could research at length, so to think that it's from your imagination is fantastic. My curiosity as to how Jasper's story continues is certainly whetted.
Oh, and love the Harry Potter references. Just when I thought it couldn't get better, vampires well-read in Rowling are brought into the fold. Awesome.
My vote for snogging couples is cast-hope at least one of them is right!
| phfina 6/14/09 . chapter 8
My twin brother geophf told me to join ffn so I could read his fan ficts.
My evil twin brother. Yes, we're fraternal twins.
And he told me to read your story. Sheesh! She's ... oops ... "he's" so bossy.
So, this is, leik, a really cool story.
He told me to say it was NIce and MOre.
Don't know what that means.
And he told me to vote for Rosalie x Bella for the kiss, but there's no Rosalie x Bella for the kiss. I told him this, but he said "no, there is." He's so thick-headed sometimes.
So after I showed him the choices, he's all like ...
Well, you know how he gets, right?
So he told me to write this (he's standing right over my keyboard, so I told him to write the d*mn thing himself, but he's like no):
"Rosalie x Bella is a crossover kiss, because Bella parachutes in from a helo drop off and then at the site of each other they disappear into the forest and have a very sweet and intimate crossover kiss."
I asked him what the h*ll is a crossover kiss, and all he said was look at the review number for this story, and I was like "what?" And he was like "Look!" and pointed right on my screen leaving his fingerprints all over my screen.
I really, really, really hate that when he does that.
But then I saw the review number, and I was like: "You have got to be kidding me!"
And he was like all smug and sh ... um: "stuff". And he said, "Crossover kiss, little sis."
He'll never let me forget that I was born AFTER he was.
But now I get what he means by crossover kiss.
I didn't know that Rosalie and Bella were, you know, um.
Well, I guess you have to read those BxRose stories to know what I'm implying here.
So, anyway, to get my bro off my back, would you PUH-lease add Rosalie and Bella in your vote so he can vote for it and quit bugging me to vote for it?
p.s. yeah, cruel joke: parents were all like: well the boy we'll call geophf but the girl ... well, geophfina, right? Makes sense, right?
All I can say is, thank God I was homeschooled.
| geophf 6/13/09 . chapter 8
LiLa, this starts off as a disappointed review, so I'm afraid to write it. You stumbled with this chapter right from the get go, and then followed that with a tepid songfic interlude that did anything but raise the interest. The only thing that saved this chapter is that it got better and better after the ghost story, so that it, once again, proved to be excellent, compelling writing.
I guess this just goes to show that you can tie both your hands behind your back and still write your way, gracefully, out of the corner you've written yourself into.
Damn, you are good, sista!
The opening was sluggish. I felt like a series of set pieces: Alucard smug in the misery of others, Rosalie miserable, Emmett easy-going. The exposition seemed obligatory, not captivating, and shouldn't the beginning of a chapter captivate the reader?
Then that was followed by a songfic fragment. I didn't like it. Here's what I don't like about songfics: they are an inside joke that the admirers of the music "get" and the "posers" — those musical philistines don't. The people who don't agree with you that such-and-so is the best song since sliced bread are left, standing on the outside, wondering when the songfic will end. "Oh, this is the latest Britney Spears ship, I love Britney, so I'll read this songfic." "Oh, this is the latest Britney Spears ship, I hate Britney, so I'll give this songfic a miss." A songfic automatically reduces your readership to those devotées, and you have — what? — 5 songs fired off in rapid succession.
I found myself becoming less and less interested in finishing this chapter with each footnoted stanza.
But I pressed forward, and then it started to get good. Real good. [yes, I know Strunk is going to kill me for using an adjective in the place of an adverb]
Because this happened to warm me to the chapter:
“C’mon, Jasper, you’ve got a bajillion creepy tales,” Alice coaxes.
Bajillion is how much again?
Quoting a review response on a fanfic I'm not mentioning here about Rosalie and her expelled lover, Bella:
- Quote -
And, what does "a bazillion" mean, anyway? My beta is always saying "a bazillion" this and "a bazillion" that, and, AFAIK, it appears "a bazillion" means "a number greater than one but not more than five." Is that about right?
- End-Quote -
I also appreciate the nod in your footnotes. Thank you. The venom affecting the blood comes up in my story "Rose by a Lemon Tree", chapter "The Soul, the Singer - I: Scents, Venom."
And, wow! you even wrote "Harry 'Potty'" ... that must have been painful ... but you did it ... for me.
LiLa, you are too sweet for words ... you must be some vamp's singer, or something.
LiLa, la tua cantante.
See, you are just like Bella, after all. Aw.
Oh, don't get too close to Rosalie, it looks like she has enough control issues right now, eh?
Then came the fight between Alucard and the Cullens ... after a little sexy Alice lap dance.
What can I say? Awesome? It was. Intense? It was. Galvanizing? It was.
And anything that has child zombies making their charge is a good thing (or any kind of zombies, for that matter), because it gets people thinking about their zombie plans. Do I have a zombie plan?
I have 38 zombie plans!
Which is 1 more than sarge:
But what was the best thing about it?
- Quote -
Rosalie is undaunted. As he walks away, she taunts, “That’s right, wittle Ally-waley, mommy says its bedtime. Better scurry off now.”
Ooh, feisty, Walter thinks appreciatively.
But Integra scolds, “That’s hardly necessary, Miss Hale.”
“Ms.” Rosalie corrects.
“Ms. Hale,” Integra growls.
- End-Quote -
Rosalie triumphant. Every chapter with Rosalie rising from the ashes is a chapter worth reading. Too bad her lover wasn't there for a big ole victorious, but still tender and intimate, smooch.
Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Yes, you know where my vote is goin', sista!
(MSR, ooh! not mentioning it, MSR-MSR-MSR-MSR ... but not mentioning the chappy where there's a little BxRose ensmoochification going down ... ya know, "This will Hurt: King Midas"? That chapter? Yeah, not mentioning it ... so I'll just mention:) "Rose by a Lemon Tree, chapter: The Soul, the Singer - Lust"
Now, when you say "kiss" on the "lips" the lip-lock you are talking about is the lips where exactly? Because when the "lips" meet and kiss in a very big, wet ...
This is a rated "T" story, right? So the reviews have to be rated "T", too, right?
So, if I may: another excellent chapter from you. I could have skipped the first half of the chapter, but the fact that your incredible writing still, even with the initially slow spin-up, shows through.
| Haissan 6/13/09 . chapter 8
looks great lion. I must say i might take on a pasive reader role. cool tho, helps get all the hellsing cullen mudslinging out. when does Alucard rape Jasper?
| Tsuki no Rekuen 6/12/09 . chapter 8
Even though I have a big disappointment for Edward not being voted off, I was so glad Emmitt was.
I think I have the same mind set as Alucard... I was amused by Jasper's story.. I bet it was the old man! *points an accusing finger* But Alu reading HP? Kinda off for him, book probably belonged to Sares. XD I will have to say with the why dear Walter is "drooling" over Rosalie frightens me, more so then the *shivers* developing relationship between Sir Integra and... it. Now I'm an Alucard and Integra girl even more so an Alucard/Girlycard and Young Walter girl. But the 'Kiss' voting TTTT I could only bare to choose one, (The Alu and Alice one, its kinda cute xD ) I'm sorry I couldn't stomach the rest... I mean I could of voted for the Edward and Alucard for a creepy humor if it was only labeled as 'Girly'cardxEdward (see Metroplis Kid's review for reason, I see there’s a lot of views we have in common xD ). But I did like Alucard's point of view in WW1 story XDD ghoul/zombie children ready to eat the Cullin's papa. Alu insisting on a conflict, XD they were lucky Integra ordered him away. As always good chapter, can't wait for another installment to this f-up island. XD
| Master of the Boot 6/12/09 . chapter 8
I have to say that my interest here remained quite steadfast. I enjoyed your presentation of the vote after the fact. It's was quite interesting.
I liked Alucard's telling of WW1 very much. Only one detail bothered me. Alucard talked about the zombies tearing Carlisle apart. Frankly, if the Germans guns couldn't have harmed Carlisle then I don't think that a bunch of zombies could have even mussed his hair, even if Carlisle took it lying down. Unless of course these were super strong zombies that could bite through solid stone.
Also about the zombies, Alucard mentions looking at them through human eyes. Did the zombies have some kind of disguise? Because you wouldn't need vampire eyes to see a shambling, rotting zombie coming at you moaning.
What really tickled me pink though was how Alucard was horny for Alice and he's trying to use his juju to try and seduce her after the idol scared her. Poor, dear Alice, she's so adorable and my favorite Cullen too. Jasper's story was really frightening, I say that honestly. It was truly humorous how everybody thinks that he's either psychotic or telling Harry Potter.
All in all, I have to say that the character interactions were great. Walter is a slippery one, and Edward and Integra both respect the other's loyalty.
See you next time. I've voted in the poll, I'll you what it is on private message.
Master of teh Boot
| Metropolis Kid 6/12/09 . chapter 8
What? Why does it have to be a “crossover” kiss? O_o I want Alucard and Integra. *Grumbles for a few minutes.* But I suppose that if I HAVE to chose between THESE pairings... I'll go with Alice and Alucard first and Walter and Rosalie as a backup. Once again, I don't WANT either of these... but they're better than the other choices.
Although if you went for humor instead of Romance, “Girly-Card” just showing up out of nowhere, laying a liplock on Edward and then changing shape right when the sparkly faker was starting to enjoy it (thereby freaking him out- making him scream and wet himself) would be rather amusing (IMO), especially if people started teasing him again like they did after he was sitting on his 'bother's' face.
Well now, unto the review itself...
So Alucard enjoyed all the tension and emotional suffering that came from Emmett getting voted off, huh? Good. :) He had every right to enjoy the sniveling, little fakers' suffering. :) And *I* certainly enjoyed the Johnny Cash moment. Thanks for including it. ;)
Okay, so Edward's not very smart after all, is he? He deliberately voted off their physically strongest member... just because he doesn't think he could take the guy. That little prick! I mean, I'm not sorry to see Emmett go or anything. I voted for him myself. But for Edward to vote the guy off just because he couldn't best him... I think the little sod is loosing sight of the prize here. :P
Okay this line “Then why does Rosalie feel so rotten?” Just doesn't sound right to me. It sounds like either she's started to think in the third person (not a good sign), there's suddenly an obvious narrator (Like in Rocky and Bullwinkle or Winnie the Pooh), or your a teacher asking students to determine why a character is feeling a certain way (like for an Essay or something). I think you should change that to a thought bubble- Italicize it and rewrite it “Then why do *I* feel so rotten?” If you were writing in past tense, I'd suggest just making it go “So why did she feel so rotten?”. Maybe that could still work in present tense too? “So why does she feel so rotten?”? I don't know. I just think it sounds funny the way it is.
Mexican vampire war? Wh-what? Is that something from Twilight, from somewhere else... or did you just make it up? Anyway, I liked the ghost story... But I'm not so happy about the implication that Alucard reads Harry Potter books. O_o I mean, I know you're a fan and all, but really... Can you picture *ALUCARD* lying in his coffin reading a Harry Potter book? I think he'd be much more likely to read something classical- like Shakespeare. Or if he did read something modern, I think it would be something with plenty of gore and warfare to keep him interested- like "The Archer's Tale", for example. Or heck, I could even buy a slow building suspense/mystery story. But Harry Potter? Really? O_o That's ALMOST as bad as Integra giggling. :P
Now, were the circumstance different, I would complain about Alucard's remarks on how much he looked down on Carlisle for still acting human. Alucard, although he may look down on certain humans, doesn't dislike them in general. In fact, he admires the stronger of the species and has even said on occasion that only a man (human) could hope to kill a monster like him. In fact Alucard was borderline in tears when Anderson used the Elena's Nail to turn himself into a “monster of God”. The vampire actually pleaded with the priest not to do it, not to relinquish his humanity.
However, I won't complain about that because Carlisle is already a monster... or at the very least he's no longer human (I have trouble referring to any of the sparkly fakers as actual *monsters* :P). So Alucard could see the Cullen's attempt to ACT human as an unwillingness to accept what he's become. So, it's close enough to the border that... I'll let it slide.
Anyway, I did enjoy Alucard's explanation of what really happened during WW I. See, I knew he wouldn't just haul off and kill a bunch of children without SOME reason. :) And I got a chuckle out of the “And all the kings horses, and all the kings men, wouldn’t have been able to put Saint Carlisle back together again.” line. Haha!
So anyway, it was a good chapter. And I think most of it fit fine. A little bit more humor would've been nice. But like you said before, you've had some serious things in this already. So, it still worked. However, everyone's admiring thoughts about their possible pair ups seemed a little forced. Alucard's was pretty believable (at least from his perspective) but Integra and Edward and Walter's thoughts about Rosalie didn't quite seem as... smooth as I would've liked. Still, it was better than WxS, no question. :P
Well, have a good day, and God bless.
| bahleeeted 6/12/09 . chapter 8
AH XD Okay, the following kisses are acceptable to me in no particular order:
Alucard/Walter (I really don't like slash usually, but this is okay?)
Any other kisses are just not okay whatsoever. P And why is Walter lusting after Rosalie? O_o She's so not his type. But I suppose you're the writer and can do whatever you want.
ACTUALLY. You know what? If it came down to Alice and Seras, I bet they'd hug and cry and figure out who deserved it more ("But Alice, Sir Integra needs the money to keep people from getting killed by zombies!" "Oh, I guess you're right. Alright, I'll forfeit.") and come to an agreement through talking. :D
I admit, I was kind of bored in this chapter, but that's likely due to having the attention span of a six year old. Off to go vote!
| Nogan 5/31/09 . chapter 7
Yay! Another chapter! Oh, right, forgot to favourite the story last time; doing it now.
The challenges are creative as always, and the reader voting is a great idea. Oh, and right, Alucard cannot get 'Jizz in my Pants' out of his head? Just plain hilarious, D.
Um, I don't have anything else to say. It's a great story, blah blah, said that already... Um?
"(lest she tick off a certain reader of this story O_o)."
Who is that, D?
Anyways, continue as soon as humanely possible (of course, I could start pestering you until you go to 'inhumane', but I'm not that mean... yet), and keep it up!
| Weak-chan 5/30/09 . chapter 7
Ah, so Integra reveals her lust for cake, I see...xD
“No way, man!”
“You can’t do that!”
“I strenuously object.”
“This is bullshit!”
- One of my favorite parts, to see all their different reactions...Though, "I strenously object" is my favorite of them all. xD
Jasper's got an "interesting sucking approach", huh? Oh-ho, the ways I could interpret that...
Augh, my dear, I'd just eaten when I read this...D:
But hey, at least I can say you've definitely got a good grasp on detail...x-x
"It turns out that cake isn’t the only non-hemoglobin-related substance Alice has ingested in the past twenty-four hours."
Oh, lawdy. xD
Hahahhaa, I like how when Alice pukes, it's all cute and dainty. Reminded me of a cat coughing up a hairball. xD
Ah. I loved the music in everyone's head, so much! I'd always wondered what it would be like if a vampire read the mind of someone who had a song stuck in their head...And your choices of songs were superb, by the way. :D
And wow, Alucard-sama surfs Youtube, too? Who knew? xD
Haha, "almost like a girl." I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't figure out Integra was female until the 6th episode...*ahem*
Welp, my dear, another fantastic chapter. I was thrilled to read it, and now I can't wait to do the vote.
You just keep revealing how talented you are as a writer with every chapter you add - the characters are, once again, very accurately portrayed, especially Walter! For anyone who hasn't reached volume 9 in the manga, you should probably skip this next line, as it's a huge spoiler. -The fact that Walter is willing to betray his team reflects his betrayal of Hellsing very, very well. After all, he's always been in it for himself. :D -
Also, your creative genius never ceases to amaze me - I mean, who would have thought that Emmett was a nudist at heart? Plus, you're a magician with dialogue; your character's speech and interactions with each other make them seem so very alive, and are also hilarious.
Well, that's enough of my babbling for now.
Your grammar status report is on the way shortly, as is my vote. ]
Take care, m'dear, and I can't wait for the next chapter! :D
| Tsuki no Rekuen 5/29/09 . chapter 7
Sadly my dislike for Edward over powers the thought of a dastardly plot alliance with Walter (thanks for bringing back my disappointment with him on his traitorous behavior -_-*), I would of picked Rosalie, but Alucard screwing with her mentally amuses me beyond happiness. It’s too bad the Twilight girls can never get Seras to vote out her master on the fact she’s still his fledgling and since she never did drink his blood to become a full fledged vampire. and I also doubt Integra willing to vote Alucard out either, I think the Cullen papa (cuz I can never pronounce his name nor spell it right) warned is a good thought, you have to have The Hellsing Director and her vampire together; He has to be kept in check needless does he need to have a free reign like in his old days before Van Helsing... but now my mind wanders back to Emmett... OG MY EYES! *runs for a spork to gouge eyes out* That was the worse thing ever brought to my poor mind image not wanted. Though Alucard having songs in his head about jizzing... WoW... that was expected yet unexpected. Well I can't wait for the results for the next chapter. XD