... Nice... WHen will you update?

Hmm, it's been too long since I read this chapter the first time you up it up to really be able to compare them. However, there are several past and present tense confusions and a few awkwardly phrased sentences.

The metaphors are very clever, though. And I'm curious as to who's narrating. I'm also interested in seeing how you've decided to revise this story. It was already so creative from the beginning.

~Eva