I also wanted to say that i love how you make Toshiro and Momo act like they do in the manga! Your really really good at writing and I'm already dying to read the next chapter! Your story is so good! It makes mine look like crap! good job iLove your story!

This was really good! I like it a lot! Please update soon!

I really like the story! Can't wait for more!

oh, this is definitly becoming interesting... and amusing. xD
Poor Shiro-chan and Ichi. But i do wonder what were Momo's motives for all of this...

okay, my brother is a bandwidth pig, so I don't think the review I sent took, but if it did, I apologize for sending it twice

I’m reading HitsuHina?! Will wonders never cease?

Okay, first off

You use grammar and punctuation. This may or may not result in me standing on my desk and cheering like a ninny. Thank you. Everyone appreciates grammar and punctuation.

At the part with bakayaro… with stuff like taicho and shinigami I like keeping the Japanese (the latter more than the former) but, aside from that, pretty much anything else has me staring at my monitor stupidly for a few seconds before I waddle off to google it. That’s just my personal preference, however, if it’s your writing style and you like the way it sounds, go with it.

Momo’s not a morning person?! I made the same observation in my KiraHina fic XD... She was enough of an un-morning person that she fried Grimmjow with her sword while Izuru and Shuhei hid under their respective beds in fright. O, look at me go! I’m digressing!

“Something that was becoming a daily mantra to cover a terrifying realization he refused to let see the light of day.”

o0o great foreshadowing!

xD Matsumoto is so mean to her captain. God, I love her.

In your dialogue, things seem a little stiff. I know conjunctions are a big writing no-no, but I personally tend to make an exception for dialogue, just because it helps it feel more natural. Most particularly are don’t are you’re, which, when replaced by do not and you are, make it seem really unnatural.

“After a hasty breakfast, if unsatisfying breakfast” I imagine you meant to edit this, but if not, this seems a bit repetitive. Try, after a hasty, if unsatisfying, breakfast”

“wore expressions of eminent doom”

“eminent” defined as well-known, renowned

“imminent” defined as looming or impending

Homonyms are a pain!

Lol! I like the fact that you don’t add stuff when you’re writing witty banter, however, you might want to inject the occasional “he said she said” (in much better phrasing than that, of course) just to avoid confusion.

I love the way you write ichigo. He’s so sardonic.

please don’t hate me for my overlong critiques T_T

Should be interesting when Rukia catches up to them!!:) Toushirou's jealous moments were so perfect!!:) Good chapter and looking forward to the next one!!:)

lol...I hope Momo got pictures because that would be great blackmail!!:) I wonder how Momo is going to get out of this one! Toushirou and Ichigo won't fall for a trick that easily again! Good chapter!!:)

Ha ha. Now, now, Toshiro, no need to get so possessive. Ichigo isn't going to do anything he'll regret doing (poor man wants to live!) XD Found the interactions between the three in the beginning and the part between Toshiro and Ichigo at the end very funny. X3 *give you a review* Here ya go! Now ya won't have to worry! XD

Thanks for the update for this great story.This one and your other one are my faves at the mo.

Still love the three way banter. But Poor Momo her wonded and now getting sick...

Toshiro does care about Momo when hes not upset with her. Man he does get jelus did he honstly think that Ichigo would dare cop a feel on Momo when hes trying to help her and when toshiro was standing next to him.

Nice to see a new set of three way banter.

Hope Momo gets better soon :)

Please keep up the good work.

hinatanaruto fan

i love this story! jeez Hitsugaya is so overprotective! but that makes it all the more cuter. update soon! i want to know what happens!

Aw, poor Momo! She's hurt and upset, and Hitsugaya's not being very sympathetic. Good thing big brother Ichigo is there to comfort her. ...especially when it makes the boyfriend jealous! :) ROFL! That screeching match between Momo and Toushirou, while he's still carrying her, was hilarious! And Ichigo's interruptions were perfect!

Ooh, excellent! Rukia, Renji, and Kira have come out now! I can't wait to see how Rukia punishes Ichigo for running off without her! :) And doctor Ichigo makes an appearance to help Momo with her fever! I loved the ending!

Once again, an excellent mix of humor and seriousness! I can't wait til the next chapter!

Ah! New story!

Love the chapter length, even if it means waiting for updates - which I'm a big fan of, by the way! Gotta love updates! :P

Actaully, I think the whole thing is quite good. Already wondering what the poison could be!

*cheers* drama! really liked it, there's plots and plots and i really do like it.

~cd

Wow. cool chapter. Loved the handcufted together bit. I enjoyed the humor and the bickering. Well Momo can be crafty when she needs to be. Loved all the interplay Between ichigo and toshiro. The action was pretty cool. It nice to see Toshiro's desire to protect Momo. I know there bickering at the moment... but hopefuly they will get to the bottem of this. So who the real mastermind behind this i wonder ? and what made Momo do this in the first place ? I'm shaw this will be an interesting jorney.
Oh nice comment by Momo about Toshiro being stronger.

Can't wait too see What hapens next ...

Is Momo alright ?

Please keep up the good work.

hinatanaruto fan

I like where this story is going. XD Yay! Toshiro saved Momo!! Neh, can't wait for the next one!