I have to say, I very rarely read Harry Potter fanfiction, so I don't know how much my opinions will really count for. It's such a rarity to find a decent writer such as yourself on this site, though, that I felt the need to review one of your works. I hope this review can at least be worth something.

[He had woken up after having an unnatural dream about tabby cats with glasses reading the newspaper.] Interesting start. It's so rare to see dreams portrayed in fanfiction for what they really are--random and nonsensical.

I like his little rant on not wanting his son ot be a "pansy." I find this type of thing to be very strong in developing a character since it can create such a strong response from most readers.

[He heard the door swing open...] 3/4 sentences here started with "he." It wasn't too noticable, but it was a little distracting.

[Vernon proudly drew himself up and took a deep breath, puffing his chest to look more intimidating as he hurried to the door.] Great line! You have such a firm grasp on showing his emotions through his actions.

[Petunia’s thin lips were twisted anxiously and she kept stopping herself from chewing her lip.] The repitition of "lip" detracted from the effect of this line.

I like how you're working in the backstory. It's obviously things that the readers know, but that the characters would naturally talking about. You manage to get that across without boring the readers.

Heh, Petunia doesn't seem to bright, does she? She keeps repeating the word "freakish" like she can't think of anything better.

[I’ll not have him influencing Dudley.] Hm, interesting way to look at it.

[the boy sucking on the dummy.] Maybe I'm just being an ignorant American, but what's a dummy?

[He wouldn’t have him influencing Dudley.] I don't think this had the same effect after the point was made.

[Taking a knife, Vernon stabbed the package trying furiously to open it] Nice way to show his frustration.

I like your word choice of "thing" and "it" when referring to Harry. It fits his point of view perfectly.

[gave off an eerie feeling about him.] I like the completely new perspective I'm getting on him here.

[Vernon made sure to latch his ire onto the boy who deserved it.] Great interpretation of his character!

[Vernon whispered cruelly.] Eew. Sorry, I really have a thing about dialogue tags of "he said -adverb.-" There are much better ways to convey it, and I know from your writing that you're more than capable of it.

[Vernon smiled. He had broken it. Etc.] I love the broken-up feel. It really feels like his thought process.

[niggle] Hm, never heard that word. Thanks for teaching me something :)

[While Petunia ushered Dudley and Piers out the door] I think you mean "Peers."

[MOTORCYCLES DON’T FLY!] I'd suggest italics instead of caps. Caps just don't look as neat.

[paid for chocolate ice creams for Dudley and Piers, ] Piers = peers again.

[and Dudley and Piers had been enjoying themselves] I just figure point it out again for editing convenience.

Thanks for keeping the actual scene with the snake short. It's just boring when fanfic repeats a scene and brings nothing new to it. The part afer was good, so I can tell you were mindful of that.

Nice job bringing the end back to the "drip" and such. Creative way to get your point across. It really makes sense of your summary, too.

[formed a cacophony of diluted music] Love the description! I really like the word "cacophony," and it contrasts "diluted" well.

The ending took a bit of an odd turn. It was a little disjointed, not necessarily in the breaking up of the "drips" and such, but the ideas didn't seem to fit as well as your others. The tone changed dramatically, too. By the time I had adapted to the change, the section was over. The idea of the ending was great--it really tied up your ideas and ended with a nice punch--but I lost part of the effect due to that.

This was an incredibly well-written story. I won't rant on about how much I loved your writing style, because I'm sure you realize that it is far better than most. I would like to say that I envy your ability to piece the sentences together so that they flow so well. I was really engrossed in the story the entire time and never caught up on words.

I wish I had seen a bit of a different perspective on Vernon. You captured his canon essence perfectly, but with such a long fic centered around him, I was expecting more of the unexpected in his character. Maybe that was just me.

So, in short, I definitely loved this piece! I'm glad I took the time to read it and write this review :)

This is a very interesting piece of work. Instead of persisting in the usual mindset that the Dursleys (especially Vernon) are actively mean, snobbish people that continue in this way just because they feel like it, this caters to a more diverse train of thought. It explores more of the theorized set ideas that may cause the Dursleys to act in this manner. Your characterization of Vernon Dursley was intensely intriguing, and I have yet to come across a work that deals with this particular aspect of him. I also thought the use of onomatopoeia (with the consistent 'drip', 'tick', 'scratch', and 'scrit') was used very aptly in adding more feeling to the piece, and also (I believe) added a bit more to revealing the process of Vernon's thoughts to the reader.
Honestly, this work kept me engaged whilst reading, and I now foster some linked form of how Vernon truly perceived Harry (as more of a threat than just a disturber of the peace). Overall, I would like to congratulate you on a work well done, and hope you have similar success in the future.

Sincerely,
Chloe Churchill

Very interesting and suspenseful - I love the continuous noises throughout the story, and the twisted version of Harry is very, very frightening. Vernon's POV is well done here.

this is really good!

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its good, very good.

Haunting...

I love it.

Extremely interesting! I really liked the ending: "We're the same" and I feel it encompasses quite a bit. For me, it relates him to Voldemort, as well as to the family in the conventional sense. Then it kind of ties Dursley with Harry and such. I'd actually be really interested in reading a story where the "other him" exists and seeing how that plays out. A twisted, sick-minded Harry Potter. How fascinating. Anyway, great story! I really loved the Dursley POV.

Interesting to say the least. A very well done short look into Venrons mind. Which is a twisted rooten place to say the least. Plot is good. Flow is also good. You have done an excellent job with this.

Hey, great job! That was an awesome portrayal of Vernon. I would never have given a thought to him, or at least a very large thought. I like how the ticking, dripping, and scratching kept taunting him. It's nice to know that he actually cares about his family, even though he doesn't consider Harry as part of it. It's good to see he has some good qualities, not completely a bad guy. Great character development. Thank you for this story. It was enlightening and a joy to read.