I seem to be in the mood for a Gaelicscript revival - lol. What a pleasent way to kill my time waiting - you add depth to this episode, you fill in for Sam and make the road he eventually chose to walk down solid and as reasonable and "noble" as it must have appeared to Sam. The traces of old Sammy, heart breaking over his brother's pain and new Sam's cold "Save him if it kills... him?" side coming through giving him imense depth. Fantastic job Gaelic! Thank you

"The only thing he’d forgotten to teach me was how to stay the course without him next to me."

I think that sums up the brothers beautifully. John and Dean were both so busy protecting Sam that Sam never really learned how to take care of himself and strangely, Dean, so busy watching over Sam, never learns to stand on his own either. Sam needs to take responsiblity (not that he was lazy, just that he wasn't ever really given the chance) and Dean needs to let some responsibility go.

Of course I am reading this with hind site. I am very excited for season five. Even only having seen two episodes so far, I think this will be the year of growth for both brothers and they will come back together even stronger than before. Equal partners. And it will be awesome.

This is all just my humble opinion. As the tag goes "In Kripke we trust." He hasn't let us down yet.

Great story.

Anne

Amazing...Definitely one of my favorites.

GOSEBUMPS!! I'm always able to play a movie in my own little head while reading your stories, you're fantastic. I loved this one! – Barbara

Well, if anyone has a chance to reconcile me with the course of the season, you've got he best shots.

"“I’m gonna take care of this,” I say to his closed eyes. “It doesn’t have to be you.”"

I loved that.

Thanks!

L xx

I loved this! Sorry for the late review, thanks to RL coming in and giving me a TKO over the last two months I have fell way behind on my reading and reviewing. I just got a chance to see the episode and you did an amazing job with this missing scene. Awesome!

Awesome, just what the episode needed, too bad Kripe didn't think so. Great job!

That is...really hard. Not unfair, but so hard to read. You really get the sense that neither brother knows what they want. Dean wants a little brother who's both strong and needs him, and Sam wants the brother who knew and, at the same time, to not be the little brother. They both MISS without any hope of having satisfaction. It's so dismaying.
You're very right in your observation about Dean not being Sam's hero anymore because he doesn't need protection. And yet he "miss[es Dean] with everything inside me." He's still scared, under all that power, and yearns for his brother's reassurance. And Dean trying to just see Sam as he's fading is painful. They've truly switched roles more than they ever did in S2.
Neat point about the angels never even having considered Sam for "God's work," and I liked the characterization of the nightmares that wake Sam but not Dean. The idea of "brother" bringing a "sick sweep of need and weakness" was horrifying. The whole thing was just painful but thought-provoking and more on-target than I'd like to think. The one thing I couldn't stomach was the idea that Sam almost wishes Dean had stayed in Hell rather than come back this way. I think he sometimes wishes he could have been rid of Dean, but I don't think even Sam's fallen that far.
At least, I hope not...

Very sad and beautifully written always. Gotta go find me a crackfic now to cheer myself up.

x

Omg ! Very well written and AWESOME tag ! This is also how I see the new Sam. Thanks for that, it's amazing ! I adore all the part where Sam gets Dean out of the torture room to the hospital ! Hope you're gonna continue to write missing scenes like this ! :)

I really enjoyed your take with Sam's thoughts with this one. With how Sam had to change after Dean's death at the end of season three and how he had to survive without him for four months it seems natural that he wouldn't want to depend on him anymore, that he wouldn't want to care so much anymore. Because in a way it's true...everyone that he cares for leaves him and he doesn't want to go through that again. Still, even though he may not want to care as much it doesn't stop him from actually caring that his brother is in the hospital thanks to Uriel and Cas. I think you really captured the moment well in this story, as always your work is amazing.

Ah, look - it's G's rare tag hit. I'm so excited this episode brought out a tag from you. Let's see what I liked -

'He's not my hero anymore.' Really hitting us below the belt with that one, huh? It is a strong line sitting there all by itself and says a lot about where Sam was and where he is now.

'I am a weapon.' Yeah. I'll tap that. A secret, scary weapon.

I like Sam's senses - who he feels close - a human, an angel, a demon. Really nicely drawn.

I also like how Alastair is defeating one of God's angels, 'but he can't defeat me.' That holds so much power in Sam's thought process. So much power of what he feels inside himself. He knows he can do it. Knew before he ever walked in the room.

I totally felt and dug the description of Sam torturing and snuffing out Alastair, too. The twisting, pulling...

The paragraph about their dad and how he lit up when he was talking about the Colt and now there's Sam and he is the Ultimate Weapon. Don't need to worry about wasting a bullet with this bad boy and the "How do you like me now?" That was a WOW moment. Never really even thought about THAT. Tremendous job.

I loved that Sam runs to Dean and shouts to Cas to help him get his brother out of there... and the angel is GONE. Awesome!

The paragraph of Sam not wanting to need Ruby. Not wanting to need anyone. Not even Dean. Because he's sick of everyone being taken from him. Sick of the death. Ouch. And double ouch. I've lost a couple of people really close to me and when you think about having that one day back and what you might say to them... imagine it happening. But they come back period. Not just one day. For every day. It would be almost insane to have a conversation again with someone who you've been mourning for.

I really liked the way he wrote Dean's name out on a piece of paper and everything that name stood for. A name is a very powerful statement. And some do have a lot to say.

"Look at what they let him do to you." Blaming the angels. Blaming Alastair. And then the following para with the "I should have seen this coming..." because really? I think that is what Sam does, even now. He's mad, he's out on a limb, but still? Most everything is HIS fault. He internalizes, he takes the blame, he's not normally the one dishing it out.

'The only thing he'd forgotten to teach me was how to stay the course without him next to me.' and the 'once more feeling his death. Feeling it keenly as I do every day.' Again, drawing a circle of the death of his brother and Sam standing alone in the world. No one there to not let anything bad happen to him. He's scared. Still is. Maybe more even now. He just can't verbalize.

I adore how when Dean woke up, how his eyes stayed glued to Sam, drawing strength and it was that which made Sam remember 'An old light that I'd forgotten.' Right! I hope that lightbulb turns on for Sam. Although I know it won't. Not this season, at least.

Oh, and the tiptoes. Aw, shucks.

And you shift your need theme with Dean bringing it out in the open, "You want me to know that you don't need me, but that I need you." Said. Out of one of their mouths. But they need each other.

A/N's comments -

Did you think I'd be irritated that you wrote a tag? Hell, no! It gives me another look into you!

I, too, miss SilverKitten. Sigh.

Slipknot? You know they're from Des Moines and what would that mean? Yep, we know them. A little too well, actually.

And I always love the 'lollipops and candy canes' line.

Thanks for writing this tag. I thought it was brilliant.

so, so beautiful... *Cries*

But doesn't he realise - that what makes Dean 'weaker' more vulnerable - is the fact that he can't be 'Dean' for Sam anymore?! Doesn't he get that?!

*Cries again*

*Saves*

Thank you...

*hugs*

Mandy

Ugh. You must hate me right now. Right? I'm sorry that I haven't been so punctual with my reviews on your fics. Doesn't mean that I'm not reading them. I did read the last chapter of Weapons and Wounds and it was wonderful as always. :D Its just that, I've been busy around my home and sharing the computer and also, I'm writing a fanfic for another tv show so that's occupying my mind at the moment. *rolleyes* Sounds like excuses I know. Don't hate me!! lol Now, onto the review.


Wow. You know what? I gotta tell you this is a first for me. This fic brought tears to my eyes. Not a full out complete sobbing mess. I did that when I saw "Benji" but this fic made me well up in that kinda "No-I'm-not-crying-there's-something-in-my-eye-" tears. :P You did an amazing job. I guess because the pain from that episode was still fresh in me. My god, they're really going for it, aren't they?

In the beginning of this fic, you made me wanna shake Sam, slap him silly and yell "You fool! Can't you see where you are heading??!!" And at the hospital scene which I call "The Killer" you broke me. You happy now?! lol All in all, you did a fantastic job. I loved it.

Can't wait for what you got coming next. I'm prepared. *holds up a box of kleenex*

Wow, that ep must have really spoken to you! I know you don't do this tags often, but you always do them very thoroughly when you do, lol! And, holy heck, that was pretty powerful...Sam was very scary! Dean was very...broken :(.

Thank you for the rec, btw, that was really thoughtful of you. I'm just happy you like it. :)