love it bro.

I have this story on alert, and man was I happy to see that you'd updated, bwee. As I'm pretty sure I said in earlier reviews, what I love so much about this story is how believable everyone is as young adults. It's just awesome. The dialogue is fantastic as always, too. I especially liked the bit where Stan wanted to come out to Kyle but just couldn't muster up the strength; it was a tense, draining bit, and I love it when great fiction can upset me.

Well done. Can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck writing it!

Woo hoo! I'd just like to say that even though I'm a fan of Stan/Ike, I'm so glad that you didn't make it the central plot. It's more a "means to an end" for the relationship between Stan and Kyle and ultimately between Stan and himself. Nothing like a drunkenly fucking a minor to wake up your senses.

Just off the top of my head, the biggest issue I had with this chapter was the chronological order. There were like... flashbacks within flashbacks here and sometimes I got confused. Does this mean that between the hour that Stan was to go over to Kyle's house Ike somehow told him about their little fling (Or did Kyle read about it on Ike's blog? Hm...)? And what time was it exactly? They were talking about sleeping and I imagined that it was night time, but then what Apple store would be open late at night? All I'm saying is that it could use a little more clarification.

By the way, from your previous chapters (and I may just be oblivious) but I saw no tendencies of Kyle being Manic-Depressive. You kinda sprung that one on us. I suppose the whole "Ike-has-to-be-the-older-brother-and-watch-out-for-Kyle" thing was a clue that intrigued me at the time, but it wasn't very specific. (And Ike is taller than Kyle?! I have to re-image how these guys look in my head now; though Ike is adopted, so it makes sense.) I am absolutely not saying that I didn't like Kyle being crazy! For the South Park genre that consists of mostly sappy love stories and vampires and mercenaries, it's a great characteristic that hasn't really been employed a whole lot. It's fantastic, really. I don't understand all of Kyle's actions, but I suppose that's how it's supposed to be.

I want to mention that the whole revealing of the whole Stan/Ike affair was a little cliche, but honestly, how the fuck can anyone deviate from it? Where else but in pornos can you have Kyle be completely okay with his little brother taking it up the ass with Stan? You really can't, so the reaction is totally justified. And for that matter, you handled the scene with such skill and grace that I have to commend you for it! Especially Stan's side of it. I really like how he didn't fight back even though he probably could have overpowered Kyle. And the word choices that you used such as "gave up" and "relaxed" made me feel almost as if Stan wanted Kyle to choke him. Although this contradicts Stan's train of thought on how "Kyle wouldn't hurt him, thus he has no real reason to fear," I still like to think that maybe he was subconciously giving in, like he wanted it. Perhaps Kyle isn't the only one who pines for wounds.

Your dialouge is perfect. Nuff said. Honestly, I aspire to be able to write dialouge like you. I'm in the middle of a story myself that I can't seem to get motivated for, and reading your writing has helped to inspire me again. Keep your fingers crossed though...

You know, just once I'd like to have a situation in which the main character doesn't leave after everyone tells him to. It's kinda like avoiding confrontation. I sorta wanted Stan to get up and beat Kyle into submission, but instead he limped away like a lame dog. Though I suppose him beating Kyle into his senses wouldn't be justified and wouldn't really help your plot move along.

All in all, let's go with the next chapter! If that one truly is better, as you have claimed, then I am ecstatic to read it! Charge!

i love you
and this story.

like seriously,
its really well written and has a solid plot,
unlike some of the other highschool/collage fics around here.

your an excellent writer and i SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT
TILL YOU UPDATE XD

AND I LOVE IKE!
lol thought i'd just mention that XD

Aw, can Kyle be secretly loving Stan and that's why he's so upset? Or do we have to go with the mentally ill and that's why thing? 'Cause I vote secret lovin'. More angst and yumminess.

Oh well; another kickbutt chapter, I see. I'm getting more addicted to this thing every update. I'm going to be stalking my email account for MORE. Please?

I love your fic <3

Can't wait to read more ~

did i review this chapter? i don't think so... what the hell? haha.
anyway, i know for a FACT that this review won't be as great as any of foodstamp's lovely ones, but i'll still try! x)

i loved it all.
:D
that's all i have to say bout that.

lmao! jk.
well, i'm a little sad that stan doesn't want to do ike again. D: i so would.
i guess all i can do is wait for the next chapter and wonder what's going to happen between everyone. stan, ike, kyle... phew! it's a mess!
:D

see you around, shannello
;)

Did you see my reaction for this one? Wasn’t this the one I GOT TO READ A MILLION YEARS EARLY? Oh, god, I love this chapter so freaking much. I keep saying that whatever chapter I’m reviewing is my favorite, but it’s this one. It’s this one this one this one.

I hate waking up in a new place. It’s insanely alarming. But I do love that Stan’s confusion leads to so much great detail about his previous living conditions—specifically Loren’s place, because I got very close to forgetting him with all that was going on at that party. I like “his thighs began to sting with tension” and the fact that…oh my god, oh my god, Stan wonders briefly if Ike is a girl. AND IKE IS IN BED WITH HIM.

The abstract thought process about the Funyons is totally great and a horribly inadequate defense mechanism. Poor Stan. He managed to hit up almost every after-party negativity, didn’t he? Waking up in a weird bed with a strange person and barfing. At least he’s not wearing stilettos or covered in shaving cream.

Ike is so cute. Love the air of that first question—it’s in the vein of “come here often.” Utterly charming. (You have a typo right after Ike says “hi.”)

I like that they wear almost the same pants but accessorize with them very differently. Not to be an asshole about the symbolism again, but seriously, they have similar foundations, and they branch out in opposite ways: Ike’s trendy in an I-don’t-care kind of way, and Stan’s (debatably) trendy in an I-care-so-much kind of way. I love that, of all people, these two are the ones who ended up sleeping together.

(After “uncomfortable,” you have another typo, sorry sorry sorry, but I think you like to know these things.) The memory of Kyle is sweet, if disturbing in context…at least Stan is keeping it within the family.

Few things about Ike. First, I really like that he understands the severity of what would happen if Kyle came home—this is another fic where it seems like everyone knows about Stan’s feelings for Kyle, except for Kyle. Second, I might’ve just grudgingly assumed that Ike was on speaking terms with Kenny and Trish. You didn’t have to explain away their interaction, but you did, which I appreciate. Third, although he is balking against his role as Kyle’s babysitter, I get the impression that he still cares enough about him to worry about his feelings. Or, um, maybe he’s just worried that they’ll get in trouble. Either way, what a great detail.

I love how cavalier Ike is about losing his virginity. I kind of get that he’s new at this from the way he acts—he’s somehow maintained his “innocence,” despite what’s happened. HE’S SO CUTE WHEN HE’S KISSING STAN. (I shouldn’t like this, but I do.) Yet there is a surprising sort of calculated maturity with which he dispatches Stan, isn’t there? He’s like twelve-years-old in the way he pouts and postures and says he’ll call, but he’s incredibly businesslike when it comes to practical matters like getting Stan the fuck out of his bedroom before Kyle sees them. I don’t think he’s doing this to hurt Kyle, because he does try to avoid this confrontation…but he sure isn’t as sweet and simple as he acts.

To me, Stan’s mooing phone is another way that he never escaped South Park. The definitiveness of Stan throwing away those pants instead of just putting them in the laundry…well, that’s an obvious connection. He wants to be completely rid of the experience. Good boy.

This is going to seem kind of nitpicky but the paragraph that starts with “panting” is really good to me. I am all excited by the implications of Ike still wearing the same clothes, while Stan has made sure to divest himself of everything that reminded him of what happened. I like that Ike’s cheeks are gaunt, I like the certainty of his nod, and I like the way you used the word “degenerate” because it conveys a change of tone. It’s just such good nuanced writing. These little things thrill me.

See, the actions that sober!Stan wants to perform towards Ike strike me as more paternal than romantic. I feel sad that he’s so guilty now. He kind of deserves it, but I could see him and Ike forming a very close platonic bond.

Basically everything Ike says during their conversation plays out like he’s reading lines for a production or something. They’re by rote, and they border on the cliché. This is not a negative comment about your writing—it feels very deliberate, and I think that whatever you were trying to achieve in Ike, you succeeded in. He’s got this clearly put-on manner of conduct. It’s unsettling and endearing. After all, he’s smart and that’s awesome, but he’s smart enough to know how to hit all the right chords in all the right people. That’s scary.

I’m dying to know what Stan would’ve said instead of “Kyle’s brother.” There are so many possibilities.

Anyway, Ike changes tone when they establish that Stan is kind of a nobody in the town. Despite the story feeling heavier at that point—I know I can relate to that sense of inadequacy—you didn’t have either of them dwell on it too much, which was an extremely wise choice, because this chapter has involved some serious things that you have handled delicately. Something about your writing is that you always manage to communicate the right things in the right places. If something is left unsaid, I trust that it is not the time for it.

So he and Kyle are close, as Ike admits in the end…okay. I thought they were, but I was seeing mean motives in Ike for a second. I don’t think that Ike is entirely without resentment for his brother, but it’s sweet to know he cares—even if it manifests itself in a situation that happens to be convenient for him.

Ike’s leaves cigarette smoke with Stan instead of lipstick on the pillow. That, Sekrit, is beautiful.

This chapter was hella short compared to your others, so my feedback looks disproportionate to how much I enjoyed this. Also, my allergies acted up, so I’m sorry if it seems like I lost enthusiasm—I totally didn’t. Do I need to keep telling you how amazing your writing is? If you don’t know it by now, you’re not listening to me. Thanks for the way you handled this content and thank you for making it such a pleasure to read. (I now have a guilty thing for StanxIke that I can only fulfill in like two different fics, you jerk.)

I am very worried about what’s going to happen after this. Please update REALLY FREAKING SOON.

Okay, let me start with this: the party scene is totally an important part of every South Park fanfic author’s repertoire. It’s been done so many times in so many different ways. This might seem judgmental, but I’ve almost started using it as a term of literary measurement—it’s one of the only common factors in the community. That said, yours is amazing, and it says so much about you as a writer—all good things, of course. You will hear about this a lot through the course of this review.

We see hipster!Stan again in the very opening of the chapter, what with his designer beer. The difference is that he’s been in South Park for some time. I feel like this is important, because I get the impression that at the beginning of this fic, he wouldn’t actually have acknowledged that he drinks Goose Island because it makes him “feel more intelligent” (and I see what you did there with the brand’s origin, smoth). Going back to your roots can be a sort of humbling experience. I think that Ky, Kenny, and Cartman kind of gave Stan some perspective—or at least refreshed some perspective that he’d started to forget. Thus, he is willing to forget his intellectual pursuits in lieu of Coors Light and a mindless night out with the guys. (Though you remind us that this is the alternate personality, now. Stan is a changed man.)

I absolutely love how the “boners, ice skating, bad music, and football” thing is presented as a throwaway line, but it turns out to be pretty thematic in Stan’s life. Oh my god, the fact that he had a boner despite his broken leg—that’s so hot. Certainly gives him some serious history with Kyle. Also, you mention a sort of timeline here. At fifteen, Kyle had already become reckless? That’s interesting.

I really feel like I’ve said this before, but you gave Craig a perfect role. I don’t see him as a particularly intelligent character, at least not in a scholastic sense, but his being a marketing genius makes so much sense it’s not even funny. Just kidding, it is funny. And brilliant. (P.S. Did this site cut off one of your links? The one Craig mentions? I think it did.)

No idea if hipsters actually pride themselves on their fashion sense, but Craig correcting Stan on his best color seems to carry some weight, regardless of the connotations.

Introducing characters one by one at a party may not be a brand new narrative device, but you did it so well. It’s so fluid, how you meet these people. It feels like a legitimate social progression through a crowd instead of a choppy “Craig, now Clyde, hey, Powder!” thing. I really love how Stan helped Clyde up the stairs before we know what happened with him, and seeing a glimpse of a Craig-Clyde interaction is such a treat! I’ve noticed in party scenes that people rarely talk to anyone but the narrator or the main character or whatever, so keeping the attendees speaking to each other is a very rare and masterful detail.

Clyde isn’t self-conscious about the prosthetic leg, but he’s still sensitive about the colostomy! That’s so sweet. I know he’s not in this much, but I adore Clyde here. He seems well-meaning and damaged, just how I like him.

For a second, I thought Craig was living at Butters’ house now. That’s not true, is it?

I like Powder, too, and the fact that there are multiple young pregnant people at any given party in South Park. Stan sure turned on the charm when he spoke to her, didn’t he? In that way, I now acknowledge the parts of Stan that are naturally suave, as opposed to the things he does that I’m quick to write off as his being gay. Does that make any sense? I’m trying not to peg his personality traits like that—oh, he did that because he’s a fag, he did that because he’s a hipster—but I do kind of dissect him for his motives. I’m thrilled that being a charmer is just something that he was born into. And I wonder why Powder was introduced so prominently. (It’s both cool and bizarre that she’s a surrogate.)

Token seems like the perfect counterpart to Stan’s getaway story. He’s the posh response to Stan’s hipsterness. The scene they shared was small, but important. As escapees from South Park, they got to admit some things that Stan probably couldn’t have said to anyone else. Good job keeping their conversation brief, too—anything more would’ve been contrived.

The interval of inner monologuing work beautifully, because it’s an overview that doesn’t take you too far from the current setting: Stan’s buzzed at a party. His thoughts read accordingly. The paragraph that starts with “something about drinking” is one of my favorites. God, it’s good. Great metaphor, great acknowledgement of your own narrative mode, great thesis in “life was so fucked up, man.” It’s all perfect and practical and oddly touching. Seems like a very honest, personal detail about who Stan is now.

Kelly Rutherfordmenskin? Are you sure it wasn’t Kelly Pinkertontinfurter?

You get the same sort of elements in The Other Table here. Butters thinking about Eric at a party, who’s totally neglecting him for some chick. It kind of seems like—what do you call them? A remix of your own work. It’s thrilling, seeing how they play out in different ways. In many senses, these are sort of partner pieces.

Okay, this is seriously cool here: whereas Token, Craig, and Clyde’s scenes were there for us to meet them, Butters’ scene is completely about reevaluating his fandom identity (or, in Stan’s case, the person he has come to know as Butters). Butters quietly corrects him about all the facets of his life, and you continually take fanon details and reshape them according to this newly extrapolated character who still has Butters’ soul. I like him way better the way you’ve written him, and think that Butters could become this man—nice but not a pushover, good without being saintly, just a realistic, well-rounded person. I hope he could be this man, anyway. I actually think it depends primarily around the people around him. Which means that what you’re saying about Butters is also a reflection on how everyone else has been treating him!

Last but not least, here are a few things about Ike: a) he really is cool; he is like Stan, except legitimately trendy, b) I love that he’s handling his liquor better than basically anyone at the whole party, c) I love that Stan respects him for it, d) bass is just as awesome as guitar, if not awesomer, and e) that he has the knowledge base and the gall to (rightly?) call this college-kid party gay is really very amazing. I think it’s really cool that you’ve expanded Ike’s precociousness to newer things like fashion and sexual awareness. I would never have that about that.

CONTINUED IN RESPONSE TO A RECENT UPDATE. Go Sekrit, go go go! I adore it all.

Ha, okay. I just…love this chapter so much. I think it’s my favorite. There is so much subtle stuff going on.

I totally know exactly how big Butters’ backyard is from your description, let me tell you. That was so well done, and without any of the boring, conventional statistics. You have us connect to this setting on an emotional level instead of a physical one, which was a perfect choice for what ends up going on in this setting. (Admittedly, I don’t come from a mountain town in Colorado, but my god, 31 degrees in Colorado certainly feels to me like…31 degrees anywhere else. Definitely not my idea of an Indian summer.)

How fitting is it that Cartman’s first line in this fic is both iconic and whiny? I love these small, idling things they do—Cartman drinking beer and littering, Kenny fiddling with his lighter. And Kenny’s wardrobe is so trailer-trash; it is truly awesome. He doesn’t retaliate when Cartman insults his girlfriend, and I’ve wondered since I’ve started reading this fic what exactly that means. I know he cares. I think he’s just tired of fighting with Cartman. (Is he actually—gasp—domesticated? Time will tell.)

I was hoping Stan would be nice to Kenny, and he was. Thank you for that. You totally renewed my faith in this occasionally mean hipster Stan.

Kyle experiences a deceptive moment of normalcy in the crowd with Cartman and Kenny. It’s not that either of them are particularly satirized in this fic (dare I say that they’re actually kind of low-key?), but you come to expect stranger things of them. What’s interesting is that you’ve chosen to evolve the control group of Stan and Kyle. What does that say, when the consistent people with the average personalities are the ones who are changing?

More of your fantastic emotionally uneven Kyle: his thumbs up, his mean laugh, his sigh, his coy request for a cigarette, his flipping out when Stan says he quit. Is he upset because he feels an underlying sense of judgment from Stan, or is he just angry that Stan withheld that information for him?

The line of Stan’s about Kyle not taking his clothes off is pretty premonitory, isn’t it?

What’s cool is that Stan’s not being a homo should be douchey, fake hipstery kind of thing, but all of them seem to agree on a separation of terminology between Stan and Butters. I also agree with that, let me tell you. But Kyle, who is the first to call him out on it, never does.

I think I’ve already said this, but I really love that Stan is the one longing for Kyle in this fic. Enough said. It’s so sweet.

The description of South Park being frozen and motionless really is a romantic and symbolic one. As with many fics where a character is returning from college, I get a sense of social and emotional stagnancy around the old town. While they are moving in some respects—like, things are still changing—you get the impression that they’re standing horribly still in everything that matters to them. Your mentioning that the town is in a physical state of suspension seems incredibly suitable.

About Kenny, I don’t think that dropping out of college to take care of a pregnancy (or a loved one’s pregnancy) has the same connotations as dropping out of high school. Strange that Cartman is the person with these heightened standards. Also, Kyle’s comment about community college and how you just have to “show up.” Both he and Cartman seem strangely judgmental about this. Weird.

Your Butters in this is really interesting. I like that he immediately calls Cartman out, how he orders them around, and how he’s wearing black. Also, the description of his hair is really good! You know how fanartists can really fuck up Butters’ hair? So can fanfic authors. But this is the best verbal painting of his hairstyle that I’ve ever read, hands down. Great, great job.

I do really like Cartman as the guy who goes to frat parties, too. It’s the type of well-put-together douchebaggery that I can totally see him indulging in.

Finally, Kyle’s choice of thesis topic is really telling. I can’t wait to see what it says about him in the end!

Thanks so much for this chapter. Again, it’s probably my favorite. I love these softer moments, because they are so functional, they way you write them—and they’ve got this air of poignancy, and gentility, and they still manage to feel ominous. The calm before the storm, right? You are a master at this quiet kind of build-up. Of course you still write brilliantly when the shit actually hits the fan, but your rising action lends itself to the climaxes in a way that the reader really, really feels. Rock on.

oh dear, Ike

I have to keep forcing myself to not picture him with a flapping Canadian head, haha. This is really well done, though, holy crap. I like the bit about Stan's hands sweating inside his cheapo gloves, that's a very familiar thing to me. ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION but last chapter with Clyde and Tweek and Red, baww. My heart sort of stopped in my chest when I read that line about the car accident, jesus.

also if you're using firefox, you can use the extension "greasemonkey" to add user-created scripts that do things like, say, block ads that have spiders in them. Good luck!

I'm adding this to my alerts; I can't wait to see more. It's hard to find good, compelling SP fic, and this is made of pure win. It's really resonating with me, too, 'cos I just came back from college to my hometown and I can relate to a lot of what he's going through

oh my god, you worked Kelly Rutherfordminksin in here. I seriously laughed out loud at that one

I've been feeling really sick all day and had to call out of work, but reading Cartman saying "I'm for seriously, you guys" just made my night.

Oh, this is just awesome. You've got their characterization down pretty well (especially Sheila!), and I LOVE all of the little easter-egg type references you've made: Stan's south park cows ringtone, Ike talking about Fillmore. Seriously great. Off to chapter two!

Interesting. I have no idea what you're planning. Stan/Ike grosses me out though, ngl. I hope Style prevails in the end! But nice story, I look forward to the next update :)