Poor Susan, if only she'd just 'remembered'. Good One-SHot though. :)

Do you think Susan remembers afterwords? I'm just asking your opinion; I like knowing what others think about it, especially if they write a story that leaves it pretty ambiguous.

-Dyslexic Nerd

You seriously made me cry :( hahah really good:)

Ah, Bundi, I LOVED this. It was SO well written and it had a really nice pace to it, as well. The confrontation with all of the Pevensies, Eustace, and Jill could have been a bit too dramatic and over the top, but you pulled it off nicely. Really great story!

Aw...that was really well done, Bundibird :) Congrats on the NFFR addition :) Good job!

VFK

I would strangle Susan but then she'd go to hell.

And we don't want that . . do we?

*repeats endlessly to convince self*

I love this story. Very well written. It is nothing like I have read before. I like how it gave me a new opinion to form about Susan.

This is a really great story. i haven't read the series but i saw the movies.i used to like susan's character until i found out she started believing that narnia was a game.

Daang that blow about Ed's betrayl is low even for her and a very corny cheap shopt. Some one needs to beat some sense into her even if it means actually beating her.

Any way this was really good , love the portrsyl of the characters

I almost cried when I read what Susan said to Edmund. Wow.

I think this is the best Susan-before-the-train-crash story I have ever read. Definite favorite!

C

Stories about this toward the end of the Pevensie's life with the struggle with Susan are wide-spread and I've even written more than one, but this may be one of my favorites ever. I love the fact that Jill and Eustace are included, as well as small bits from the Professor and Polly. Mostly, though, I love how real it all seems. Your scenes are so easy to imagine that I am full of sorrow by the end of the story.

the shadow proves the sunshine

Poor Edmund Vain Susan I wish the White witch won and they were all her slaves.

LOVED IT! :D I love how you portray Edmund, as well as the conflict in Susan! It's so wonderfully written, I could have read it a hundred times - and plan to! There was just one little bit that I wasn't exactly sure whether I agreed or not - that Edmund was the most diplomatic of them... ;D He was the Just King, after all - and well... But of course, lovely story, and I'm not saying I'm entirely disagreeing with it. :)

God bless!

R.B.

You just made me feel bad for Susan. Do you know how impossible that is? Well done.

(Although you did make me hate her even more when she said THAT about Ed...Ouch. That was low.)

Hey can you do edmund and Eustace take on this

This gave me little chills! O_o!

Even though I KNEW it was coming (I DID!)- when you wrote the bit about Ed saying "goodbye" with a sort of finality in his tone, and the sentence immediately after when it said she heard about a "terrible train accident on the radio," I felt a thrill!

This was a great oneshot, Bundi! _ I was so sorry for Ed when he and Susan were arguing, and she dealt him a shot like that. (At least Peter was there to stand up for him! :D)

As well, I liked the part when she found Ed and Peter congratulating themselves on a job well-done while still in muddy work clothes. It was a cute image.

Poor Susan though. *shakes head* She doesn't know what she missed...

I can't wait for you to continue on your one-hundred word challenge! Keep writing!

As Always,

-Tonzura123