bloody good hope theres more to come

You need to format you story better one paragraph chaters are going to make you lose readers not to metion it is hard to keep up with the talking when its all bunched together and you know damm well ron would of thowen a fit any body 98 percent of the time would of so could you fix the format and make it a little bit more realistic and maybe when you update again go back and fix the prior chapters cause they really gave me a headache and so 1 maybe 2 more chapters more is all i am going to give this

Good content - the opening chapter had wonderful imagery. The second chapter could've been spread out more. You can PM me and I can show you how to fix it. Great start so far. Keep it up.

Great story. I would suggest to space the dialogue.