Alright, I said what I mostly needed to say in our conversations. It's a good effort; I especially liked the following lines:

“Because I’m lazy!”

“Why are you lazy?”

-

Yeah. Hope you get more reviews soon =]

really good story. fresh and refreshing content, really hope u'll update soon :)

Right, I do see some plot holes, and the story is unclear at some stages. Good try at writing action, although you did fall to your old habit of using coincidences AGAIN o.0 Good effort at writing until 5,0 words. Hopefully, you'll be getting more reviews soon XD.

Ooh, double jobs. But why warrior and magician, such a weird combi I wonder?

Ossim. I like it, it's very interesting though the ending to this chapter seemed a bit abrupt. Well, anyway, can't wait to read more.

Congrats on publishing your latest chapter (although I see you did not hit your intended 8K word target...). It's good, and I see your writing has improved. No more coincidences. Lol.

I see some more interesting parts farther up, although, somehow, I keep hearing your voice when I read the dialogue (Uh...no). Somehow Nera seems alot like you *suspicious look*...

However, this is beginning to read like Revolt (Especially the names, and the archer teaching archer part). Be careful of that.

Good writing, but the escape could have been elaborated on. Somehow, it seems unusual a hardened guard would take crap from a criminal.

And generally, when someone advances, he'd be inane with joy. Summarising Zeirona's job advancement in three sentences seem to..well..cheapen the process.

And punctuation. I have horrible punctuation as well; commas seem appear at all the wrong ends.

Otherwise, good job. :D

The front part might need some additional justifying - if I was the prison guard, I would just aim the gun (why do I need to open the door lol?)

Haha (: Its cool.

Interesting.

Hai.

Wait.

Make this more interesting, will ya? I dunno, a teenager breaks out of his prison by taunting the weakest link in the chain, doesn't /think of himself first/, just so happens to help a little kid break out, promises to /come back for the others/?! If you had been cut up, mutated and scalped, I'm pretty sure escaping would've been the first thing on your mind, not rescuing hapless little kids regardless of the fact that you're making your character look noble.

Back to the job part- dude, he's a hybrid mutated thinger. >_< He just broke out from a mad scientist-esque facility. Maybe he should, I don't know, lie low for a while? Getting a second job would just simply /scream/ to the world 'look at me, I'm a mutated freak, come and get me for your evil plans' or something.

Other than that, nice idea. Just don't over-awesomenize your character. :D

KyraMS is back!! :D
Nice story btw. Capitalize every word in the title though, cuz it looks so much worse than the story.

There she goes, there she goes again, blazing through my brain.

I think this is somewhat an attempt at written action over plot. The plot can't really be discerned from the whole story: rather, I find it in one big chunk right there. Also, this is a case of too much facts and too little opinions. Mix them around: feelings, descriptions, emotions, everything. Don't just harp on the surroundings and don't be so focused on just trying to describe the environment. Give it a bit more colour, please.

36/60/55

Nice fic. It's exciting. =)
Um...if I'm not mistaken, the earlier you get your job advancement, the better. So why 13?
Anyway, good cliffhanger there. Looking forward to the next chapter. =)
And lol at the first guard. Brawn = 0 brain, for some reason.