That was a truly touching story. I suppose a tale doesn't have to be very long to get its point across. However, if I might, I'd like to offer this bit of advice for any future Firefly stories you might venture: The western dialect was a bit thick. Zoe's thoughts and words flowed, just like they do in the show (though she never called the captain Mal), but the others - Mal especially - were never that difficult to understand. I know it's tough to get the dialogue for this show just right, but beware laying it on *too* thick - makes it hard to follow, and potentially takes something away from the story. Overall, four and a half out of five stars, in my opinion. Well done.

I really loved this story. Excellent job!

Loved Mal offering to help Zoe up! Mal's accent is a little heavy here making it hard to understand, and Inara's presence seems to be completely absent leading me to believe you don't care much for her character and that's too bad because there's a lot more to her than meets the eye:) And I hope Mal never stops thinking of River in need of parental support. Some shifting viewpoints which was hard to follow, but overall it conveys nice sentiments shared between two old friends

Lovely. Mal's words of wisdom hold true for us all. If I have a slight niggle - not a criticism at all - it's that I found it a bit hard to follow Mal's method of speaking, which took me out of the story a bit, but otherwise I think it's really, really good.

Love this dynamic you got between the two. Mal's speech was a bit confusing to read, and honestly I thought it a little too thick for him. But you captured the feel very nicely. Well done.

Wonderful story, with wonderful first-person narration by Zoe. I really liked the idea of fires and being close to those of others you care about when you don't have a romance to create a fire of your own. Its funny how Zoe calls the others "the children", and I think it would be ever so funny to see River and Jayne compete against the sword dancer and the knife thrower. My only suggestion regards the dialogue, it is way too laiden with dialect, over the top and a little distracting. I do enjoy dialect very much but it seems like there is just a bit too much of it in Mal and Kaylee's speech. But it was a beautiful story.

Riona

Wow... Simply wow