Your grammar and sentence structure are atrocious. You should proof read a story before you post it.

Poor Ash, right into one sticky situation and into another. I hope he's gonna be ok. Can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work!

Awesome chapter. Is Ash going to be ok? I sure do hope so. Can't wait to read more. Great job and keep up the great work!

this seems like a very interesting story. I can't wait to see where you go with this story. Great job so far!

I see that you've broken up your paragraphs well, but there is that need of polishment and detail in desire. It still feels rushed.

You did rush this a bit. Slow down, add some more detail, and be more polished.

Heres some future facts about pokemon, Turtwig evolve into Grolte and learn rock climb, Stariva will evolve into starraptor and learn close combat, Gliscor learns fire fang, Dawn Swinub Evolves into a Mamosvine and learn ancientpower, Dawn's Pachirisu learns super fang. Chimchar is sappose to evolve into a Monferno and Paul get a Hariyama.