Eleven year olds don't think "her name made my heart lift and my stomach do back flips" or "I looked into her magical face again, and got lost in her immeasurable beauty" or "I was taken up by a crushing feeling of heartbreak, and then a wave of determination". They just don't. Eleven year olds don't say "Who the hell are you?" or "Oh Christ!" or "MY GOD JUST CHOOSE."

They don't. They really, really, REALLY don't, believe it or not! Being 11 just, oh, a year ago, I should know.

GIVE BACKSTORY. I am so lost. How do Lily and James know each other? As your reader, I am so confused as to how they now the other.

Do not take the Sorting Hat song from Sorceror's Stone. Don't bother denying. I know every word from that book.

And before I get accused of flaming, let me take this time to say that the reviews are meant to give constructive criticism, and I am just using them how they were intended to be used, which is not "OMG I LUV UR SOTRE. SO GUD I CUD JUS DY FRM TE GUDNES!1!1!1!11" Yes, I've given positive reviews, but I have something to say about the plot, character development, structure, grammar, etcetera. There is usually something for me to say, unless it is one of, like, three authors who I am positively in love with.

I really hope you can take my advice,

Real Men Play Quidditch (if you wish to read anything of mine, do not hesitate to look me up.)

haha love it especially alices reaction to 'sev' i agree he IS a twat

haha this is the 10thish time ive reviewed u for the bloody amazing story!

great job sry you didnt get your reviews :( i didnt start reading this until like 2.5 yrs after the last update so yeah :)

O.o lots of reviews needed! anyway those pranks were strange but it was still really good :)

Awesome! Although, i would change the rating to K

aww poor snivley haha good job

haha Brilliant! loved the ending!

aww poor ted! great writing absolutely brilliant

ok not done with this chapter yet but frank is not a marauder peter is

havent finished reading but peter is supposed to be in gryfindoor other wise great job

Haha brilliant. When i was reading the letter i was Like what the heck! isnt this supposed to be Lily/James not Lily/Snape then i got to the end and started laughing XD love it :)

Wow this is really long! but so far it looks really good to ;)

Huh? What up with the

"

"

ok im positive, that Frank should be Peter Petigrew... because he turned into the rat, and Peter also is in Gryfendor and does not like snape at all... so just wondering... and when they figure out about Remus being a werewolf will it be frank turning into a rat because its surposed to be Peter... but other than that im in love with this story!