I disagree with what u meant by "plain". this poem is far from it. you can almost call it a bit religious with some much references of "god". when u use "fate" and god, i cant think of anything but philosophy... which is a really deep topic. great job im gonna post a poem up too so i hope you look at it lol.

It is a beautiful, sad, and touching poem, almost driving me to tears. It does fit "5 Cm Per Second."

Lol, I logged onto FF in the first time in forever just to make a comment on this poem...

Very good read. Thanks for writing it!

One thing I wanted to say, and it's the main reason why I posted: What the hell does God have to do with this?

It just seems sort of... contrived, that's all. Sticking God randomly into it as if he plays a major role in the poem or something...

But that's that. The rest of the poem is... well, it's okay, I suppose. The cliches run rampant throughout the poem, but then again, the purpose of the poem doesn't seem so much to be "original" as to be emotional and to act as a representation of a facet of yourself, and in that sense, it works well enough.

One thing that irked me, though, aside from the whole God thing, is the fact that there doesn't seem to be any thought into why the poem is structured the way it is. Meaning that it looks like you wrote some stuff, thought it would look good as a poem, and decided to throw in some line breaks to make it fit. There's no... reasoning behind it.

But, all in all, it was a good read. Thanks, and good luck on whatever else you're working on.