This is so much better. You kept some focus and it is what it is...how Mommy met Daddy .

That's what you needed to keep it on track and not go off into too many directions as in the rough draft.

We learned what we needed in this chapter.. how they met and also get to see the affection between Clark and Diana and their love for their daughter.

You do have some nice dialogue..eg when Clark is showing Diana around the fortress and flirting with her. It keeps us connected with the characters then.

So all good for a first time attempt and as long as you keep writing you will see you will improve.

Well,I am glad to see that your first foray is actually reading so much better.

With some sharpening and going into depth it is taking shape and form.And don't worry. First time stories can be awkward. Practice makes better and better.

Just one error... I wasn't too sure if Kal and Diana's daughter was called Laura or Lara.

If it is Lara you need to do some corrections. Suggestion. Just go back into your document manager and change it and replace the chapter.

Onto the next chapter.:)