So, where IS the rest?

Tears fell down Fenix's face as she finished reading Chapter 1 of a brilliant story. "It just isn't fair," she typed in the review box. "Why did Lucy have disappear?"

Great start! I always hate my first chapter, but you already have me hooked going to the next chapter:)

Quick update, huh?
Jeff actually took the news better than I expected him to.
And John smashed a window. That hurts. I empathise with him.
Hee hee, Gordy telling jokes to wake her up. LOL
Alan's got taste; I've always loved those stretched Hummers

"Dr Mahoney looked at the harried dishevelled looking man, his companions seemed little better. He’d expected somewhat better from the likes of the Tracys’. ‘Money obviously doesn’t breed refinement.’ he thought with a sneer, he wondered what the polite young woman in ICU saw in this vulgar man. “I imagine she will be able to go home in a few days. The head injury needs to be watched, although I don’t expect anything untoward.”"
Hmm, not sure I like this doctor. Can they get another one? This one seems a little... money orientated, IMO.

Nitypicky time
"But how are we gonna loose them now?”"- loose should be lose. There were two of them, I think. Don't worry, I have huge problems with homophones.

I loved the fluffiness of this chapter. See ya with teh next one.
Kat XD

God this was a beautiful chapter! XD Update soon the other part!! I can't wait to read about the family reunion!

More! More! More! C'mon, TBZ, don't leave me hanging like this!

Aw, Lucy and Virgil. It's like a maple syrup, only without the dire side effects if you have too much.
And you may not have killed Zoey off, but you've still gone and broken Scott's heart. And, for some bizarre reason, I don't mind. It's a different spin on things.
And Macca's makes the world go round. What would we do without them?


Now, onto other minor things
"Harem Hackenbacker"- should be Hiram if you are talking about Brains.
"“The girl... Scott the mother and child the National Guard pulled out with Zo’"- may want to include a comma between 'Scott' and 'the'.

Those were the things I picked up on in my somewhat sleep deprived state, but other than that, I really liked the chapter. Please update soon.
Kat ;)

That is a cliffhanger, TBZ. A very, very, good cliffhanger.

Now you have all three of them outta there, you have me wondering if Lucy'll be reintriduced to the family, and if Zoey's gonna be OK.

Will Jeff have to find a new field commander? Coz they did find her alive, just not in one complete piece.

And for finding a chocolate fix... no time is too early. Especially with a 7/11. I've been known to wander down to the corner store at two thirty for a cherry ripe. Not that it did much use, considering the store was closed.
Sorry to hear your kids aren't feeling great. Hope they get better soon.

Great chapter and see ya with the next one.
Kat ;)

Ah ah I knew that Lucy was alive! I was right! lol

now I can't wait to read more! and I want to know all about Jeff's behaviour! I can't believe he hit one of his sons!

So Dwayne, he was the guy from the shop in the first chapter, wasn't he?
And I loved the way Zoey and Mrs. T connected. I kinda feel sorry for all three of them; they've been ripped away from a caring life they could have had and are stuck in the mountains. But it makes a good read...
And Scotty seems to be a bit of a mystery guy to his brothers in this.

My favourite part of the chapter:
“Damn it Scott. That was enough sedative to put a horse to sleep for a month.” He wrapped his arms around the larger man, John slipping in the other side to help support the weight of their exhausted eldest brother.

Scott gave a lopsided grin “Only a horse Virge? Not a donkey?” he asked woozily swinging his head to look at John gave a brief frown of confusion, then back at Virgil, his eyes becoming unfocused as he blinked sleepily, “You should have given me enough for a donkey. You’re always calling me an **.”
Heehee, made me laugh.

A few more spelling errors, but nothing that detracted from the chapter itself. A nice read before bed-time.
Until next time,
Kat ;)

I liked that a lot! I'm hoping too see more Alan though. He was the one who went through thAt traumatizing experience. Please update soon, this is really good!!

Oh tension tension tension! great chapter! I hope Scott is not serious in his promise to leave IR if Zoey is not found! update ASAP!

So, the action begins, huh?
Zoey and Scott don't seem to be in a good place right now. And Scott really let Jeff have it, didn't he? Knew it was coming, and I can't say I blame him. However, I really hope Jeff doesn't have to find a new field commander. Coz that would mean something bad happened.
Awesome chapter. I loved every word.
Next one soon? Please?
Kat ;)

Um. Yeah. PLEASE let Zoey live!! And that's the same thing that took Mrs. Tracy! Please please please update soon!!

You ARE going to save her, aren't you, just to spare Scott some heartache? *glares pointedly at you*
I'm betting Scotty's gonna go ballistic at Jeff since he told him (Jeff) to look after her. Oh, and he'll be worried too.

Is it really the Sasquatch that took Zoey, or is it The Hood or some other villan in a yeti costume? Ok, maybe my imagination is running a bit wild. But I can't wait to find out.

One spelling error I spotted: decent should have been descent. Don't worry, I have trouble with that as well, especially with the there/their/they're one.
Awesome chapter, and I'll see ya with the next one.
Kat ;)

Hiya, TBZ! It's been a while, huh?

I think I read some of your original version, but I'd forgotten quite a lot of it, so I'm trying to catch up at the mo. I might not be abke to read it all in one go, but I'll try and read chapter two sometime this evening.

Anyway, notes so far? Awesome. You had me tearing up during that last scene, I could really feel the characters' emotional trauma. Excellent work.