|Reviews for Connect the Dots|
| monsta-starr 5/6/13 . chapter 9
I really wish you update more chapters! Luv the story;D
| Bookwyrm 12/16/12 . chapter 9
Love this story! You're characterization of J'onn if perfect, he's perfectly polite but still gets nervous and has worries of his own. Please please please update! I want to find out more about Rachel and things are getting interesting now that J'onn is living with her. Can't wait to see the reveal of J'onn's real identity and how Rachel will react. Are any of the other Justice League members going to make an appearance? Just wondering, once again awesome story! Please update!
| irony882 7/6/11 . chapter 9
I love how in-character you've made J'onn. Am looking forward to more updates! :)
| Levin Lass 4/7/11 . chapter 9
I am going to preface this review as I suspect it may be something that, in some parts, seems discouraging. I'm going to be perfectly honest with you - just so we're clear to being with. I think you have talent. Let me say that first. I think you have talent that is shielded in a weak plot. I think you have good ideas, I just think you're having trouble conveying them as you haven't taken your time in doing the story telling. This reads like a skeleton of a story that could be three times it's depth at the length it is if you painted us a broader picture.
I wouldn't waste my time leaving you a detailed review if I didn't think you had potential, or if I thought your story was a waste of my time - which, by the way, I read in one sitting. You kept my attention for that long...also a feat. I'm easily distracted and if I'm not *in* I will click on something else that might seem more interesting. Kudos for holding my attention. However, I think that was because I wanted to see Rachel's reaction to seeing J'onn's true form. I'm hoping that comes to be at some point.
Now I know this isn't canon and I don't expect that. In fact I very much enjoy well written non-canon, possibilities. This is why I support original characters. Now in them I expect a lot. I think they can really flavor a story and add to it that which interests us as fans in a genre in the first place. That being said there is the dreaded Mary Sue and the anti-thesis to that which is just as bad as the aforementioned. Rachel is neither of these things as I believe you intentionally went out of your way to avoid either - but in doing so you have created a bland character. You stayed away from the dreaded perfection and didn't focus on so many flaws that we have no reason to like her...but, why am I supposed to like her again? Because she can write poetry or because she can wield a stick like no one's business?
I don't understand J'onn's affinity to her nor do I understand the several really random meetings where they come back together which strikes me as far too convenient. I think you were onto something when you addressed J'onn's interest in the humanity of her. It was mentioned and I perked thinking how you should delve into it more. How his attachment to her is based on the idea that he is trying so hard to understand humanity that he's found someone who's patient enough to acknowledge his existence. I like the idea of his protecting her, as that's very much J'onn's style. I think, amid the excitement you had in introducing us to this character (I like the bonding over Oreos), you left out the part about where we really get to know her. Now that doesn't mean I want a dossier on her...it means I want to learn her through J'onn as J'onn is what drew me to the story to begin with. I can walk away loving your OC but I'm not going to walk in loving her. I have to do that with him as he's the one I know and came for.
I think you have a really good grasp of what you want to say and that you know where you're headed at least loosely. I want to see that too. I guess my biggest complain is your lack of description. TELL ME MORE! I want to know more details, you have evolved from the writing of so many author's here that might as well be a script for the lack of description - but I want a full out Monet in which the lilies look so real I could freaking touch them.
I love J'onn. I really do and I don't think you've slaughtered him. Bonus points there too. Sometimes his reaction and dialogue are a little weak but overall pretty good job. I am only going into this much detail and reviewing anyhow because I think you have great potential, I think your potential is on the cusp of blossoming. Keep writing, take your time, more detail...these are my suggestions.
| 01Shadow Angel 12/3/10 . chapter 8
awww i love this story. plz update
| Tulip 11/2/10 . chapter 8
Oh, I has a sadness! I read this in one sitting and was rather interested in your take on a rarely explored character and a even less explored time of his life. (I think yours is the only story I've seen.) Also props for spelling J'onns name right. But you know I really wanted to see the dramatic reveal scene! The woman we see with J'onn when he finally shows up again is rather nonplussed by the whole "Flying around and turning into a dragon" thing so at some point he does reveal everything to her. in any case this is a pretty awesome story that I hope you will continue!
| BookWormSara 1/31/10 . chapter 8
ty on the quick update! I started laughing at how the girl tried hitting on J'onn.
| Sesshomaru's Babydoll 1/31/10 . chapter 8
Aww, they're just too cute. Well done as always. Just a few grammatical errors here and there but nothing too big. Hope to read more very soon!
| BookWormSara 1/27/10 . chapter 7
hope you update soon again :)
| Sesshomaru's Babydoll 1/24/10 . chapter 7
Aw come on! It was just getting good T_T Please update ASAP. And by the way...Go J'onn you sexy beast! hehehe
| BookWormSara 1/7/10 . chapter 6
poor j'onn. i would like the story to be longer and/or updated faster.
| Sesshomaru's Babydoll 9/23/09 . chapter 5
This seems rather good. I think overall I like it_ please update soon and let me read the greatness that is J'onn!
| Ox King 8/13/09 . chapter 5
Fantastic story. I love it. J'onn really does need some fanfic lovin. Thanks for taking the time to write for us JLU fans.
| Miles333 6/16/09 . chapter 4
Wow. Super J'onn to the rescue! lol I can't wait to see what Rachel says in the next chapter, after he just saved her life. O.O Please update soon! :)
| JLMischief 6/15/09 . chapter 4
Oh my goodness you did NOT just end it at that! Just as I started to get into the story, you stopped the scene so abruptly! Please update soon :)
The dialogue's nice n casual (that's as casual as J'onn gets!) n quite believable; also the scenes between J'onn n Rachel are so cute, though for some reason I just keep on thinking of Rachel as Jennifer Aniston, dressed up in baggy clothes ;D
Even the way the two kept on coming across each other felt quite natural, nothing set-up about it, & I liked that.
Nice work, waiting for more!