Reviews for Temple of Dreams

Reviews For: Temple of Dreams - Reviews: Page 1 of 5

NotSupposedToBeHere 2007-05-22 ch 7,	abuseGood story, but what happened to the story it was supposed to be a sequel to? Star Child? I can't find it and I kinda want to read it. Anyways, keep up the good work.
Grace 2006-06-09 ch 1, anon.	abuseMy school has studyed ancient Egypt god/goddess, and there is: Amun-Re(Ra), the god of the gods. Nut: Goddess of the sky. Geb: God of the earth; husbad of Nut. Osiris: God of rebirth, death, birth etc. Son of Nut and Geb. Isis: Goddess of women and children. The daughter of Nut and Geb, the sister as well as the wive of Osiris. That's all I remeber!
Dragon's Clan 2006-04-08 ch 7,	abuseIt's great but where is the sequal of this story when I read Koori no Naifu wo Daite because I feel the Temple of Dreams doesn't connect to Koori no Naifu wo Daite. -Dragon's Clan
ANIME-POTTER101 2005-08-01 ch 1, anon.	abusey r so of the words japanese r they from egypt or japan? but this is a really good fic so far k buh-bye
Blackshiningdragon 2005-07-09 ch 7,	abusePLEASE CONTINUE! IT"S SO GOOD!
lil-saturn-goddess 2004-05-10 ch 7,	abusethat was good.looking foreward to ur other stories..
Kelly Noel 2004-02-07 ch 7,	abuseraises eyebrow Interesting concept, but- actually I'd better not say. I think your treatment of flames is a little too extreme for my tastes. -Kelly Noel
dot-dot-and-dot 2003-12-14 ch 7,	abuseaw... ;_; Sakura got caught now and u stopped? NO... NOT AGAIN... note to self, never read anymore old long incompleted stories!
cyn skysong 2003-10-29 ch 7, anon.	abusewhy did you stop there? you should continue. i want to know what happens please.
Constance31 2003-08-05 ch 1,	abuseI love Cardcaptors and I love Yu-Gi-Oh and you're awesone for putting them together! Yami's so hot and Sakura's adorable.
Goldfusion 2002-09-15 ch 7, anon.	abuse^____________^ KONNICHIWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^___________^ Goldfish66 from AFR here! ^-^ Michiko, HaloX, and Cherry Juice are all sleeping humph -_- (MEANIES!) So ^_^ I decided to radomnly read YGO fics! ANYWAY, ^_^ In the quotes of AFR, "I LOVE IT!" I do ^_^ I like the characters, and the plot, plus the style of writing you have. Minus spelling and OOC-ness ^_^;;, I'll say, Nicely done Zidane-chan camcorder KAWAIII! One of my favorite couples happens to be Sakura/Yuugi/Yami-chan ^_^ Kawaii ne? And your Japanese is soooooo good ;-;! TEACH ME TEACH ME!!!!!! ^__________^ Onegai? puppydogeyes AFR would soooooo appreciate it! Arigato gozaimasu! sniffle Minna baka! Oyasumi nasai! LUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLUVLLUVLUVLUVLUV, Goldfish-chan
Queen_Sakura_Serenity 2002-07-24 ch 7, anon.	abuseHey this story's great. Don't let any flames get you down. O and keep posting on the story. Well I'll keep reviewing later on. Queen_Sakura_Serenity
Li's Princess 2002-07-24 ch 7, anon.	abuseOh my god! I have read your other CCS And Yu-gi-oh! stories! They are all so good! Please keep this one up. I know you haven't added to it in like ages, but I really do care. I want to see how you finish it. See ya!
The Jolly Leprechaun 2002-07-14 ch 1,	abusezidane lover? is that zidane from ff9, i completed that game. It is so cool. HuH? oh, your story is good, but could be better. Tut tut, zidane. Luvving the cardcaptors and ygo, they go well together. Why do you spell sakura, sak-ku-rah? Oh, well, nuff said ^_^
DarkGatomon 2002-05-13 ch 7,	abuseI'm going to take a few random things from the story, and point out some things about them. This is by no means a full and complete review... That would take far too long, and probably end up being longer than the story itself. Alright. First chapter... Saky and YGO were eight, you said. I'd considered it possible from reading that they were six... and STILL thought their behavior highly improbable. At eight, I had far better manners than either of them, and I'm not even close to royalty. As pharaohs' children -- even believing that they were raised like normal children until taking the throne and becoming gods! -- they would have been on best manners while visiting a rival, or if they were too young to understand that, they would not be let out of sight. Actually, I don't think they would have been allowed to go off by themselves like that at all, considering that they were next in line for their thrones. However, considering the death toll from disease and the child mortality rate, I suppose that they might have been more carefree about death via assassination... More Japanese spoken by Egyptians... badly. Can anyone say "half-dubbed anime?" I'm not sure I see the sense in this at all. If you can't speak Japanese, don't use it. Myself, I'm studying it, and I DON'T use it, despite the fact that I could assuredly do so better than most of the writers here. It's sort of like the martial arts, which you learn to gain discipline. Once you know how to fight, there is no longer a need to. It's the same theory. Just so you know, though, "hai" is a short-spoken affirmative. "Ne?" is what you'd want to put at the end of sentences to mean "isn't that right?" Also, there is no pluralization in Japanese -- both woman and women would be "onna." "Baka" is an adjectival noun -- you would need to add "na" on the end to turn it into an adjective. So the proper term, instead of "baka onnas," would be "bakana onna." I would suggest that you go and study Ancient Egypt, and then revise your fanfiction accordingly. For instance, women were respected back then. A queen would be expected to help run the country, not just "produce a[n] heir to the throne." I'll paraphrase an Egyptian scribe, since I've misplaced the quote: "You should never inquire into your wife's affairs, for she knows what she is doing." Of course, the show itself is rather inaccurate... so far as I can tell, its main achievement in accuracy is having the Millennium Eye in Pegasus's left eye... Although even there, you can ascribe that to even probabilities, if you are so inclined. However, the eye that goes in place of the uraseus IS supposed to "terrorize all assailants, repulse all enemies," and other such stuff... But so be it. (Quote from "Egyptian Mysteries" by Lucie Lamy.) A related point there is that Sak-ku-rah would probably have been just as happy to find out that her arranged marriage wasn't to her brother or father, as often happened to keep the blood of the gods as pure as possible in the line. "Just as happy" remains the key term, though -- surely someone of her age would realize that she would have to marry strategically! It would probably never have even occurred to her that that wouldn't be the case. Love would have had very little to do with it, when dealing with politics. I'm tempted to suggest that you study English more before writing fanfiction as well, but I realize that the best way to learn is to practice. However, that only works if you have someone reading over your stuff and pointing out your mistakes!! I would suggest having a parent or friend read over your works and proofread them with a red pen for you, if you don't know the language well enough to be able to proofread and spellcheck yourself. Another option would be to get a Beta-reader for proofreading purposes so that you can look over their revisions, compare it to your own, and learn that way. Of course, if you DO speak English fluently, then I would highly recommend using a Spelling and Grammar check found in quite a lot of programs, or, lacking that, proofreading it a few times manually (which is a good thing to do in addition to the spellchecker, actually). I find that printing a story out makes it easier to see mistakes that are more likely to be glossed over on the computer screen. There are many other points I could talk about... For instance, why people always insist on having Yugioh look like his future aibou (it's a convenient word, I'll give it that) is beyond me. According to the dub, Yugioh ruled five thousand years ago, not three. I could point out that being so clearly distraught by a flame just encourages flamers more -- if it didn't hurt you, what would be the point? Without even mentioning that it wasn't a flame at all, that would be a rant right there. However, I'm sure you're already quite bored with my rant, and so I'll not waste either of our times any further. On the up side, I must hand it to you that you put more effort into your fanfiction than some people do, and that is definitely to be respected. You created a pretty much original plot, and have written extensively within it, and have even managed to finish Star Child and get mostly finished with this -- many people give up sooner. For that I applaud you.

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