A great story. Very good.

Intersting. Very intersting. Can't wait to see more.

Hmm... Is this a Doctor Who crossover by any chance?

Oho, an Oncoming Storm! Better stock up on some duct tape, dry goods, batteries. . .

But in all seriousness, this is kind of flat and the premise seems a bit silly. Especially the capitalization. An Oncoming Storm? That sounds like something out of Power Rangers Turbo. As some general advice, try to make the writing more evocative. The reader needs to feel what the characters are feeling. Punctuation could also use a once-over.

"Storm's coming up, Ani, better get home quick!"

That was really interesting. This sounds like it's going to be a good fic. Please update soon.