It's always weird seeing my name in a stroy. I mean, sure...everyone has heard the name Danielle before, but not a lot of ppl have it.

Isn't that lullaby from a book?

Good job! I loved how you did Darry in here. I thought he was going to yell at Danielle.
-ICY

“WELCOME TO MY LIFE!”
Aren’t we in for a treat?

Your disclaimer isn't even a disclaimer. You use a disclaimer to DISclaim someone's work. Like so: "I don't own; I just borrow and ** it up." A/N's are where you warn people about the ** you're posting.


Basically, this is just a hot, hot mess. Dani is a little, tiny Sue, and for the most part, probably one of the utmost repellent OC's it has ever been our displeasure of knowing.

We don't see why Soda and Darry would be mad at Pony for daydreaming. Is Dani some ** wretch that tries to get her brother in trouble?

We think so. Though it's hard to make out anything through your poor lack of judgment of characters, grammar, and bad spelling.

Why do you feel the compulsive need to reiterate everything? We know who Darry, Soda and Pony are. You don't need to tell us. We. Read. The. Book. Did you? Didn't think so.

Well, with that small attempt at a joke, Sara must be a runner-up when it comes to Two-Bit's intelligence for quick-thinking jokes.

Seriously, how long did it take you to think up that one?

Hey, we have one. How many fan brats does it take to ** up a fic?

One. Now, get the ** out.

You should update this like now? And to the peeps that are ** about it get a life and shut up, let her write what she wants because this is a damn good fic.

aw. poor dani. atleast she wasn't a brat about it. and darry really loves her. that was sweet. i like this story. your a really good writer and if anyone tells you different then they are jealous that your a better writer than they are :)

omigosh that bottom lullabye thing my grandma use to have that book and she read it to us ALL the time :) hehe good job

Please keep going! I like this story.

1)Spanking fetishes belong on adultfanfic, not here.

2)Get a beta that actually knows the grammar rules. You have horrible grammar.

3)Like shutupandwrite said, warning labels doesn't excuse this.

Mo

I have that book from which you took the last four lines of lullaby. :]

Hey Britt, good chappie. Though you could have waited on me to beta this for you,but all right.
:D

I must know what happens next IM BEGGING U

Oh my! First of all, a warning label doesn't make it right. If you want to write your fetishes, go right ahead. Just please put them on adultfanfic. Children visit this site. Enough said.

Gramar. Yes it's important and yours appears to be in need of desperate work. I highly suggest finding a beta.

This seems to be a giant character profile passed off as a chapter. Work this information subtly into the plot.

Hey girlie, you did a really good job on this chapter, I am in rehab right now reading it during free time, wonderful.

1)Your disclaimer needs to state that you do not own SE Hinton's The Outsiders.

2)Spanking fetishes belong on adultfanfiction.

3)Numbers under one hundred need to be written out.

4)I is always capitalized, as well as the 's' in Soda. Also the 'p' in Pony is capitalized, as well as the 's' in Steve.

5)It's DARREL!

6)"So any single ladies want to hook up with him, just give him a holler."
-Modern Slang. Research the 60s.

7)Savannah not a common name in the 60s.

8)Soda can't be her legal guardian he isn't eighteen.

9)"...how was as old as I am..."
-That should be who

10)Your grammar is horrendous. You leave out punctuation and you don't capitalize letters that should be capitalized. You have a poor grasp of the 60s as well. I suggest getting a beta. And if you're writing the story so you can get your OFC spanked, then take it to adultfanfic where it belongs.

Mo