you spelled his name wrong its Gaara but other then that it was good!

Grat story, graet lemmon indeed! But two things:

1. It's Gaara, not Garra.

2. Sometimes you mistake pronouns, for example "He needed to be in him (her?) right now at this moment" Check that out in the future.

Well, that's it! I'm gonna read another of your fanfics! Bye!

Not to be rude, but you mixed up the gender alot. When it was supposed to sekar 'him' you wrote 'her' roughly 65% of the time. I trad "her wall tightened around her dick and I was like WTF? Also 'Garra' is spelled 'Gaara'.

great but too short!

this story is super cute! i can barely find decent one shots but this is really good

very good first story. Can't wait to read others, if they have this pairing. It's really my favorite...er...right now, that is. 3 Hinata!

Overall it's pretty good, but you have a few errors. For instance homophones such as "wrap" and "rap" or "bear" and "bare". There are some occasions where you replaced by a word which is spelled similarly like "as a sign escaped[...]" where you should have used "sigh". Remember when commas are necessary for the meaning of a sentence also. The omission of commas can have a major impact on a sentence's meaning. Otherwise, you did really well. It's just the minutia which is really getting you, and honestly the only reason it's bugging me right now is because I just spent the last 45 minutes of my life studying for a grammar test. But I like your writing style, so keep going!

Like lemonade-lemoney but sweet!

good story only you made a few errors like spelling and grammar. Plus You refured to gaara when it was supposed to be Hinata a few times. Other then that nice story.

waahh the story is full of love and lust hehehe

love it!

wow me likely uuah i wish i could wake up like that!

c u next time