I think I might be completely in love with your writing style.
The inherent insanity present in all of your work - especially this one - is great, I believe that's what you called the "uneven application of too-clever phrases".
The style of course isn't particularly true to the Potter-verse, but you write well and have an excellent way with the characters while that style of yours makes for definite hilarity.

amazing

Excellent!!

I love love LOVE this!

I must say that this was quite entertaining, a delicious mix of humor, almost-smut, and sorta-romance.

Well done, and plead do write more of these (Preferably AU, as the idea of things like this happening before Severus and Lily part ways just makes my heart ache).

I've loved your stories about these two. In fact, they're the only ones I like! It's strange that they're so under-reviewed when they're so superb.

Very good - shame it couldn't have turned out that way in canon.

This is so fantastic! Witty, sexy and slightly awkward. It has that realistic teenage angst to it that makes Lily/Sev pieces so sweet.

Loved this bit:
"Want her? The word was scarcely strong or nuanced enough. Did plants want rain and sunlight? Did magpies want to lay claim to glittering treasures? Did wizardkind want magic? It was instinct, craving, compulsion, devotion, adoration; it was the need for the essentials of life. She couldn't possibly feel that way about him, could she?"

And this one too:
"Severus had been half expecting the pounce. (Well, he'd been half hoping for it. Or half hoping she wouldn't laugh, at least.) But he had not expected the feral growling-purring noise that had come from Lily's throat just beforehand."

Well, I'll be quoting the whole story back to you at this rate. Suffice it to say, I loved it.

Your stuff is so under-reviewed in my opinion. That being said, I'm just as guilty, for I've been a long-time lurker/reader of your stuff and I'm not sure if I've ever reviewed before.

I adore your Lily/Severus pieces, particularly when they are teenagers. The characterizations are so three-dimensional and accurate, at least to my tastes. Their frolicking is sweet and sexy and titillating. Is there a second installment to this piece on the menu? ;-)

This passage was marvelous and completely sums up how I feel about these two:
Want her? The word was scarcely strong or nuanced enough. Did plants want rain and sunlight? Did magpies want to lay claim to glittering treasures? Did wizardkind want magic? It was instinct, craving, compulsion, devotion, adoration; it was the need for the essentials of life.

And this:
His shirt rode up slightly, exposing a little skin at the level of his navel, so he shifted up a bit more, causing the waist of his too-loose trousers to pull down so that a small, shadowy hollow was created between his hip-bone and the trail of hair that led into his pants.

*Gah!*

Yes, definitely more.

P.S. I laughed out loud at your footnotes.