haha oops i guess i really should proof read thing XD oh well you learn from your mistakes

Hiya! This is good for a first fic. You just need to add more detail instead of just dialogue most of the time. Some words were missing, and you switch from past and present tense sometimes. Since it's your first fic though, it's understandable and don't worry, you'll get better the more you write. Can't wait for more!

Hawky Phantom