|Reviews for Mobius Trip|
| jojobevco 5/24/09 . chapter 2
This is one of the finest Star Trek series i have ever read.
| spacecadet777 5/22/09 . chapter 2
You write so well, no wonder I reread all your stories! I can see where you are tying all of this in...I wonder what Data's mother has to say about "Series B". Can't wait to see what happens...
Things are fine over here...Kids just about out of school. Everything else is Status Quo
| FarmerLiz 5/1/09 . chapter 2
Oh, wow. Picard's tirade was classic. I could see and hear Patrick Stewart deliver it in my head, all righteous fury in a decidedly non-French accent.
And, I like the touch that they continue on with the memorial service even after they know about Series B. In the earlier story, I think I had assumed that the memorial service came before knowledge of the new Data. Interesting . . .
| spacecadet777 4/29/09 . chapter 1
Hey, Excellent as usual. I think I can see how you are tying this all together. Hope all is well with you and yours. Everything my way is abnormal as usual
| MissMelysse 4/28/09 . chapter 1
Oh, love the Didion reference. Good choice.
Have to agree with the previous reviewer about the use of "gotten." On the one hand, it would be consistent with Leo's tendency to let grammar slip (she's used 'gonna' I think?) in times of emotional stress, but she isn't SPEAKING here...frankly I think "she'd resettled" is all you need.
Is it safe to assume that since this doesn't feel complete, and isn't marked so, we get to see more?
I liked the Lwaxana exchange a lot. She isn't a nut IMO, just warmly eccentric and extremely confident.
| Lilith Kayden 4/28/09 . chapter 1
Thank You for this new Leo and Data story.
| FarmerLiz 4/28/09 . chapter 1
I'm totally un-read in Didion's work, but I once heard her give an extended interview ("Fresh Air" maybe?) that had me in tears. She had lost a child, too, I think. It scared me off of her work a little bit actually, as I wasn't sure I wanted to volunteer to enter that dark place.
I think these "Leo grieving" stories set up the "Data returns" stories (so I've dubbed them in my head) so well. If she's finally starting to accept her new reality and, if not make peace, then at least come to terms (such military and diplomatic language for what is an emotional war, right?), then her initial, visceral rejection of the restored Data makes so much sense.
Also: I love that your Lwaxana is not just a nut case. Do we know anything about Leo's parents? If so, I've forgotten, but it makes me wonder about them. Especially about Leo's mom. There's all these little hints, so until you give us more information, I have all this 21th century Earth back story for Leo in my head.
Thanks for the updates lately. "V" reviews to follow shortly.
| Reinbeauchaser 4/28/09 . chapter 1
Well, this is it, the last story before the - last two? Or so you say in your review comments. :0) Concerning your comments, I take it you have only explored your OC through Data and now that he is no long a part of this particular 'verse, you've lost Leo's foundation.
However, I beg to differ. I can see many possibilities here. I can see relationships building, deepening, some romantic, some conflicting, while others lending themselves to humor. You gave a subtle, though not necessarily hinting to, possibility with the holodeck episode. Then again, this is your story. You can end it or continue it as your muses and time/interest allow.
Needless to say, I enjoyed Mobious Trip, but I have far too much respect for you and your skill to say that it was the best of the lot. *ducks quickly* There were some parts that seemed a little - awkward. Maybe a bit too long-winded, as in the case of the following example pulled from the first part of your story - - -
She’d gotten resettled into “their” (my?) quarters earlier that morning, and found she could handle it okay if she didn’t look too closely at the shared possessions she and Data had collected since they’d met.
Firstly, Gotten seems not quite the right word, but then I have this problem with that particular word anyway. Blame my ninth grade creative writing teacher who slam-blasted any of her students who used it - ever.
And I don't know about using a number (10, for example) to indicate how much of something, such as Leo taking 10 steps. I always thought that, other than the time of day or dates, one should spell numbers. I read that somewhere, but maybe it's not a hard and fast rule. Lately, from what I have discovered when reading mainstream books - Dean Koontz, for one - much of what I learned in Creative Writing are not rules anymore, but suggestions, such as beginning a sentence with the words But and And. Same with run-on sentences. With that said, I guess it's up to the writer's creativity as to how they prefer to 'paint' their stories.
Additionally, there was one misspelled word. That word was - remindind. I think you intended to write - reminding. Minor, really, but honestly, I rather giggled in a gleeful way, as finding anything amiss with your stories - whether looking for split infinitives, dangling participles, or passive sentences - is as likely as coming across a Tyrannosaurus Rex. LOL In all that you've penned, I found it a marvelous feat if any, to find just one misspell, considering how many words you HAVE written!
However, I LOVED this line - - - “Seeing and hearing you is good enough for now. Next time we meet we can crush each other into little pieces.”
I am sure they will, too. :0)
Anyway, despite my critique - and I pray I did NOT offend you - the repartee between Lxawana and Leo was just very warm and fuzzy. Again, you capture the . of STTNG so very well, that you could quite honestly script a movie for that franchise, sans techno-babble. I haven’t' read much of that in your Leo-Date stories, other than holodeck, comlink, etc., so I can safely say that you might prefer distancing yourself from such challenges. I can totally relate. :0) Just the research alone would drain the muses. :0)
Anyway, I loved this.
Nevertheless, I can't believe that you are winding down to the end, though you did say something about the beginning. Hm m m. Then again, all good things must come to an END. . . and they did as much with the series, that particular comment titling their last episode, if I'm not mistaken.
As an aside, you mentioned in your profile comments that you have found yourself among the unemployed. I am wondering - hoping - if that has changed. I pray it has, but if not, I feel your pain. My husband's last day at work was January 9th. This year. Last year, he endured two months of not working. He's currently interviewing for a job - right now, as I type, in fact. However, he's not sure if he wants to go back to work (he's 61 and could retire) and I'm not sure if I want him to retire (I miss my quiet times and my creativity, since when someone - anyone - is at home, I don't have much of either. Yes, I'm selfish, I'll admit to that). He could return to his old job by month's end, but he won't know a thing until then, if that. So, we wait.
In any event, his absence this morning has allowed me to do some reading! This explains why you're receiving so many reviews from me and in quick in succession. :0)
Looking forward to your next foray into the mind and heart of grief and recovery - or anything else where you feature your OC Leo