Great story! I liked how prideful Jadis was. It showed her character. Thanks for writing this. God bless!

"First, people do not always get what they want; anyone who claims otherwise is engaging in sophistry or wishful thinking. Second, Jadis is too practical to despair. Therefore, I must respectfully disagree with C. S. Lewis on this issue."

I think he meant all who take the apple, not people in general, and also I don't hink anyone is too practical for moments of despair. Or at least she will never know happiness or joy of any lasting. Other than that, love your work, even this one, though I don't totally agree with the premise for it. Keep having fun with your writing. :-)

Scary and excellent--I can see Jadis being like this.

That was really good. Short, but good. I have this strange fascination with the White Witch...

This is both powerful and frightening, as it should be. I think my favorite line is the one where the apple's effect scours away her mortality. You made immortality seem not an extension of mortality but a replacement of it: great concept. You give a wonderful portrait of a woman who doesn't realize that (to contradict Milton's Lucifer) it really is better to serve in Heaven than to reign in the other place.

Once again, you have some beautifully imagery and lovely language usage here. Jadis is perfect- cold, power-hungry, powerful. She's practical, as you said, and that's the perfect premise for her lack of despair, though I've always seen her as becoming more jaded (if that's possible) as the years wear away. But for now, she's still newly immortal and there is no despair. Bravo.