| Reviews for Into Your Heart |
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MrsKrystal 10/1/12 . chapter 1Are u gonna continue this? |
GrimlockX4 6/16/11 . chapter 1Loved this story! |
Alyssacookie 11/28/09 . chapter 1Couple's a little different, but cute. -MONEY$- |
Jaslazul 5/4/09 . chapter 1'Kay, so... I didn't actually mean to read this, but meh. Oh, well, small fics never hurt, amirite? Ironically, my main complaint about this fic actually has to do with its length. It could be so much more in-depth, but, then again, that may defeat the purpose altogether. I've never really been into writing smaller stuff, so iDunno how that'd go. Maybe my want for a lengthier fic is just curiosity on my part-I've never read a big Wolf x Lucy fic before. Err, never read any of them before, to be honest... lulz I would also suggest that you pick a single point of view and stick with it for the telling of an entire scene. Doing that can be a bit more difficult, but it's much more rewarding; you have to fill in the gaps with narration, but you get a much more tense, suspenseful feeling. Dashing back and forth between the viewpoints can get a bit disorienting. I'd rather be fixated with one viewpoint and know everything about it than switch back and forth between both and never really get too much of an idea of either. As far as grammar... There's an adjective in there that should be an adverb ("usual") and a period where there should be a question mark, but nothing major. There are quite a few "said" bookisms, but those aren't technically wrong, and they seem to bother me much more than anyone else, so they aren't a big deal. I'm thankful for the small paragraphs (big ones make my eyes bleed), but at times I think that some of them could be expanded (which would again make it longer). The style's pretty good as a whole, yay. The romantic scene was pretty good, though a bit fast... not like there could be much more done in a shorter fic like this. I like how the humor went into their conversation, and how Wolf makes references to his team at the end, which makes it seem a lot more realistic. And I say all this critical stuff, but it's not bad. I somehow always end up rambling on about stuff that most people don't see as important... bad habit. So... yeah, that's it. Overall, it was pretty nice. Different, at least. |
starfoxluver 5/4/09 . chapter 1Sword...i have given u 10 credit ($10 in U.S. currency) for ur Arwing! Go nuts! Well i must say, it was really heart-warming! plus i also checked ur reviews b4 i began this review, maybe a sequel shall be placed, maybe and Naoki original, but i got to think which song though, ill pm u once i figure out which song! |
Pasta Masta 5/4/09 . chapter 1Well, I regret to inform you that I won't be handing over any cash for the Arwing. lol Anyway... Nice fic! *sighs dreamily* It was so beautiful, and I'm betting that the warmth Wolf felt in his heart makes him not the mind the cold too much, and I love how he wants to speak with Panther about it. XD Once again, great fic! And I salute starfoxluver for having you write this. :) |
Silver Sentinel 5/3/09 . chapter 1all i can say is...write a sequeal, this was good and i want to see these two progress some more. |
VENOMDARK yeah its me 5/3/09 . chapter 1 another nice one 5/5 oh and heres ur $ 50 hahaha |