Up until the part of the Author POV it was amazing. In my opion you should delete the author POV and continue it. :)

U don't suck!

If that's what other people say,then ignore them

If that's what u think than u r WRONG!U need some self confidence

No matter what don't give up!

that was lovely! keep up the good work.

Yeah it's true the ending is preety lamme to YOU!

but I like it because it so sweet,so cute and the rain make it more romance.D

This was cute! I enjoyed reading it!

Thats was actually really good! .

oh how sweet

The story is really good but if you had put in some more talking between them, it would've been better. But oh well... nice work. :)