I remember you telling me about that. If I knew you and was in your hometown, I'd so give you a hug. Since I only know you from this, I can I at least to do this. -hugs- ^^

I don't know if this is the right or proper timing to ask this but... you did ask me if you wanted me to beta you r story. This story. I'm still open to doing that. But, let me know if you want me to do so or not, okay? I know you went through a loss and me being your beta is not like... I'm trying to push that aside. I just felt guilt. I re-read that e-mail and I got back from Turkey four days ago and I wondered if you might have thought I shoved your request aside and went on, like it was nothing. No, I assure you I would be honored to be your beta and really, truly, I am sorry for your loss. I pray that you and your family will be well in the future. That, though I am merely a on-line author--is the least I can do.

I would say sorry for your lost but I personally fell that is an insult. I don't even know your Dad. However I do wish you well and hope you start feeling better. Your story is great I am looking foward to reading more.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, hope you're feeling better now...take all the time you need to let yourself get over it and write again okay? we'll all be waiting patiently...and we all support you! :)

Sorry,about your dad,may the Lord have him at his mercy.

Hey, I think that your story is really awesome, I would really like to know what would have happened if Teresa didn't die...the anime and manga is too sad =/ anyway please write more, I would really like to read on and I bet many others would want to too :)

Hmm... your story... has potential, but you need to give paragraphs, punktuations alot more work. Do that and you're story has already improved significantly.

Understand that the quallity of a story is three foldy...

* First, the plot/story board/character deffination, etc.

* Secondly, description, guiding the readers mind to what the reader "sees" and give the reader a good idea about the
environment. It us no shame nor wrong to use many words and take time to explain things. I kow that many writers tend to
rely on that people may have read both anime and manga, and as such is a shame. :-)
You're the story teller, remember? ;-)

* Thirdly, how you write is important. Everyone here are aspiring authors/authoresses, however, the rules of writing is no
different from it is when you write a book. Do not be lazy when you write. It is okay to make a short discrption of
what you want to happen in your chapter - that can often help. It is also important that you make sure your story is
easy to read and understand - by that meaning that you use a proper format when you write.

It takes a bit of time to get all of these things learned, but everything comes with practice.

That said, please, update soon and remember what I have said. ^-^

Best Regard!

Wow. Irene has a secret base! That chapter was cool. I enjoyed it very much. I'm hooked. I wanna know what happens next.^^

I seem to recall reading a story with nearly the exact same premise. What separates these two, however, is that the other was a lot better written and not rife with general errors. The punctuation is atrocious, and the writing style isn't good enough to make up for it.

I like the idea of this story.

I would advise that your work a little bit more on your grammar. It took me 2 tries before I understood some of things that your wrote. Other than that, the stor seems good.

Nice job on chapter 2. The content is fairly good.

A suggestion, watch your spelling and grammar, particularly capitalization. It is a good idea just for professionalism and it can also be a turn off for the readers.

Decent start and has potential. I'll keep reading if you write more.