No good. I found it horrible. Especially the writing... The story was "meehh" and it could be done better in my opinion.

Really your writing is a mess.

No character turn distinction, tenses and really in what view do you write the story (3rd, 1st person, mix, your)

Watch a little for your syntax and do try to use '.', '...', ',', '" "'

It will make the read easier. I had a hard time figuring out when a sentence/thought was interrupted, when they were rapidly fired one after the other ans such

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

SO CUTE!

Please continue your stories; they're so great!

Please read my fic The Highschool Matchmaker please

I LOVED IT! It was soooo sweet! And fit perfectly with one of my favorite songs. -

it goon grate

FLUFF! _

Awwww...that was sweet!...i hope videl can straighten things out with gohan...they're just too cute together!...*sighs*...GREAT FIC!...;D

write more now