Oh its getting interesting!! Please continue! ...and will it eventually be OkamixHanzo? I can already see their getting along fine, lmao.

hey to let you know hanzo is my favorite character in the game so update soon ok.

I quite like where this story seems to be headed. I find the whole 'lost memory' to be something of a cliché, but it makes for an easy plot device, I suppose.

I never read a story beyond the first instance of terrible formatting, however you've proven perfectly capable in that department and actually managed to keep my interest going, which is usually in short supply when it comes to fanfiction, to be be honest.

It's early days but the characterisation seems sound, I hope that it continues because it is the characters of a story that really capture my attention.

I will stress that you need to be more careful with spellings, especially in the first paragraph of any story; it'll put people off 'The hurried...'. Still, mistakes can't be helped, they happen, just try to pay extra attention to the openings though.

'...were still open, but glazed, morbidly.' is a very, very bad line.

It says in your profile that you're into your Romantic Comedy, I sincerely hope that isn't the direction you suddenly take with this story. Mild instances of humour are great, but I beg you to maintain this story's integrity! Haha!

One last, very minor curiosity. I happen to know that the American past tense would be -ed on the end of dream, whilst here in Britain it would be more common to use -t. Your profile has you as being in the USA but you used the British spelling? Hey, this isn't a complaint, mind, however I imagine Americans wouldn't be too happy with this; especially publishers.

Fair work though in all. I look forward to seeing what happens next.

ok, this has good potenial.

However the people who read and review do not normaly read stories that have misspellings in their sumary. No mater what your summary should be correct, no misspelling what so ever.

You story also has several. You need to proofread your work. Do it as if you were reading someone elses story. That way you can put yourself into the shoes of the audeince.