Sweet rewrite

Okay, I wish Joss Whedon or whoever it was that wrote that episode had had enough sense to make it end like that instead of the S.G. ruining the moment. Good job!

wow, i loved it..especially the ending quote thingy..wow i loved it

i think u need to add more!

Ahh, so sad. How much of this is from the show and how much is your take on it?

A couple problems:

1. "... letting out a deep accessory breath." I don't think you want the word accessory. Something like nervous or relieved, but starting with A? I know how it is when you know the word you want but can't think of it. I *hate* that.

2. "Her eyes reeked of sadness." Can't use it. To reek means to smell bad. "Her eyes _ of sadness" - I can't think of the right word here either. Sorry.