holy, what?!

in the back of my head i was screaming 'what the heck?', but then again, i couldn't stop reading...

haha. for some reason, i'm starting to move slowly from ruka/hotaru to this ship...

^^

OH MY GOD!
NATSUME no hentai! Argh, damn, I thought I would get a heart attack with your amazing story! But really, well, it's just kinda weird for me... like damn, he clearly says he loves Mikan but he goes and kisses the bestfriend of the woman he loves!! Uwah!!
But you have a very creative imagination. ^_^ and you did well in choosing lines for Hotaru, not much for Natsume though, coz its weird he opens up things on his own.

Wow. AS IN AMAZING. I was shocked, well, to be frank, it felt weird but nice. It's like a rich and expensive delicious appetizer before the main dish. Before, I was really opposed to that pairing but after I read this one, it changed my views. It's really not that bad. And moreover, your writing style and vocabulary are fantastic. It tempts and draws the reader (me) more to wanting to read it.

Well, overall, GREAT. ^_^ Good Job.

Ooh, really nice! I love the dialogue shared by Hotaru and Natsume. :)

There were a few typos though~

Keep writing!