Well, it was a toss up between psychology homework and reviewing. I went for psych, cuz otherwise it'd be hanging over my head, and the thought of reviewing this afterward made for a nice bit of incentive.

So. This first bit. Where Hyo is oh-so-accepting of his fate. Poor guy. I love the random things you manage to work in--like Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee suddenly forgetting how to run the city. I'm sure Xin Wan had something to do with that... Oh, and the bit about paternal!Long Feng and Kuei. (Do they ever FIND Kuei in you guys's fanon? Or have you not decided yet? Or am I not supposed to know?)

Alright, Mi-Cha. I have so much love for this character. Most fic writers are horrendously out of touch with the nature of children and tend to reduce them to babytalk-spewing images of cuteness without ever really THINKING about them as characters. Mi-Cha, on the other hand...

"This is not acceptable to the little girl,..."

THAT is the line where I fell in love with this kid. Because I KNOW children like that. Including my own sisters. Kids aren't stupid--they have their own motivations and they know what they want and they're often capable of getting it. Mi-Cha isn't happy with her dad's strange behavior, and thus she takes the issue to his boss.

And Long Feng, of course, isn't so stupid as to dismiss the little girl's worries. Love his reaction here--stepping out his shoes and yelling and running to Hyo's apartment, and I'm assuming that paper is the same one Hyo was writing on earlier, and I've got no idea what is though I'll assume it's a farewell note or something, and then he walks through the walls to get to his second-in-command.

And Mi-Cha just takes it all in stride. I guess most kids her age would be a bit more panicky at this point, but when you're raised by a hoard of Dai Li agents you probably have a much different upbringing than most kids. (And I'll probably go into/squee more over this when I get around to reviewing Darling.)

And Hyo's down in the Crystal Catacombs awaiting the inevitable. Heh, sightseers. "And this would be where Avatar Aang died, the only death that occurred during Princess Azula's takeover of Ba Sing Se, arguably the least deadly conquest in history. The retaking...not so much."

Love how Iroh isn't just killing Hyo for Lu Ten here. I'm sure revenge *is* playing a part in the motive, but Iroh's also right about Hyo--and probably the rest of the Dai Li, but Hyo's the only one he can really deal with--being a threat to Zuko. Cuz, you know, Zuko's something of a dork and a frickin' *teenager* who only just got crowned Fire Lord and has a slew of national issues to worry about at the moment, never mind the potential INTERnational threats.

Love the phantom arm pains.

And then we have Long Feng's grand entrance, and, um...yeah. I tend to giggle at this part. Just because the mental image of Long Feng and Iroh duking it out while the former gives his subordinate a tongue-lashing and Hyo tries to keep his boss alive is just hilarious. Especially the "How could you do this to me-Cha!" Heh. And of course Iroh picks up on that, and I wouldn't be surprised if he'd heard the rumors during his time in the city. *snicker*

And then Mi-Cha runs in, and everything just FREEZES because, you know, none of those guys really want to be fighting while there's a kid around. Especially, you know, the kid of the guy who was slated for death.

And dangit, she's just ADORABLE, running straight to her father and hugging him. I'm getting warm fuzzies. And I love her straightforward dialogue while she's talking to Iroh--there's something so very *childlike* about it.

Oh, and I love love LOVE how Long Feng has apparently not been informed about the whole Mi-Cha-got-kidnapped-and-hurt incident and is not exactly HAPPY about the fact. Though I do wonder why no one told him. Maybe they figured there was no point, seeing as the guy responsible was probably turned into a physical and mental pile of mush long ago and there's really nothing else to be done about it now.

And then Iroh sort of decides that maybe this whole thing isn't worth it, and thinks it really wouldn't be fair for the little girl to lose one of her fathers, and Mi-Cha's all smiles and "Long Feng is my uncle" and Iroh agrees all polite-like and you can just tell that Hyo and Long Feng are headdesking on the inside. XD

Oh, yeah, and then he invites them to tea. Because he's Iroh. (And that'd be another reason to not kill Hyo--no doubt Long Feng would *at least* kick him out of the city, and there'd go the tea shop...)

And Alak gets mentioned again. I love how the trainees get dumped with babysitting duty. Though they certainly don't seem to mind it, and neither does Mi-Cha. Again, warm fuzzies.

The line "And then you and I are going to have *words*" cracks me up. You can just tell that Hyo's gonna get his head bitten off.

But of course he doesn't care, cuz he just got a new lease on life, and he has his daughter, and while things aren't necessarily GOOD, they could always be much, much worse. ^_^

(Granted, I'm assuming the events of The Long Game will take place in a few months and Hyo and Long Feng's spat will start, but until then...)

So! That's all for this review, then. I'll get to the rest of your fics at some point--can't make any promises about when, though. ^_^ Have a good one!

I believe Rebecca Hb. said she mentioned me to you the other night after I reviewed The Long Game, so I'm just gonna skip the intro and get straight to the review.

I first read this back in...um...June, I think. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Still do. It was the first Dai Li story I found that was anywhere near decent. And it's beyond "decent", really--it's well written and character-driven (which is the best sort of story there is, really), and the OCs, for the short time we have to get to know them, are wonderfully endearing and well done.

I like Hyo. I really like Hyo. He's a great character. I love the beginning, too, where he's just lying there staring up at the stars, and the line "Hello, left arm" makes me crack up every time.

Love the whole section where Long Feng's helping his subordinate get off the battlefield alive--a little surprising that the Grand Secretariat would be in the middle of the Agrarian Zone in the middle of the night, but hey, it's Long Feng. I'm sure he has his reasons. One of which seems to be keeping his men alive. Really nice characterization there--much better than anything he ever got in canon.

Also love how Hyo immediately checks to see if his arm is there once he wakes up and realizes it isn't hurting. And hello, Jae! Good to see you! Ah, but he's a trainee at the moment, not a Captain. So he manages to score two promotions in six years? Nice.

Speaking of promotions, I love how Hyo doesn't really register his right away here. Or how he doesn't really register ANYTHING right away. Makes sense, what with the slow climb from unconsciousness. I've had to go through that before. It sucks.

Heh, and he's in the Grand Secretariat's house, too. This wake-up call just gets better and better...

Two of the four Captains mentioned here are gone by the time the show starts, I notice. I'm assuming they retired. (And then got replaced by Jae and Qin!)

Oh my gosh, that's right, you managed to work the events from the Going Home Again comic into this! I laughed hysterically at that part! (Both in the comic and the fic.) Poor Dai Li agents...

Also love the bits about coming up for excuses for keeping Liu and Xin Wan in the city and hiding Mi-Cha and Supreme Bureaucratic Administrator Joo Dee (*snicker*) and the mindbenders being the only agents left to train the trainees, and Hyo's eyebrow twitching at that thought, and Alak--okay, I don't know why, but I have this habit of latching on to the most random characters who have the briefest mentions. Kuzon, for example. Or Haldir, Orophin, and Rumil from Lord of the Rings. So of course I liked Alak immediately when I first read this, even if all he did was fall asleep outside Hyo's door and it was mentioned his family disowned him. And then I was quite pleased when Mi-Cha mentioned his brothers were talking to him again in The Long Game. Lovely bit of continuity there.

Oh, and Hyo notices Azula's machinations. Very nice. Dai Li would totally be perceptive like that. Love how he answers her questions but doesn't say too much. A lot of things went over my head the first time I read this bit, but I get them now--the allusion to Ichiro and Qin's crystalbending and such.

And then the bit where Azula brings up THAT question--poor Hyo. I feel for the man, I really do. And Iroh too, of course. And I like how Hyo's noticing the change in the temperature here--it's such a nice, subtle touch.

I always loved the conversation between Hyo and Iroh. It's all tense and emotional, and I love how Hyo's apologizing even though his instincts are obviously screaming at him to get AWAY from the Dragon of the West. Also love the bit where Iroh tells Hyo he's going to kill him, and it's just accepted as fact. Poor Hyo.

*glances at clock* I don't really have the time to review the next chapter right now. But you can expect it in the next few days. ^_^

Stylistic thing, but I think you could split Survival and Fear up into separate chapters to go with the way you have Honour as its own chapter.

You do a good job with Hyo's injuries/pain/exhaustion in the beginning of Survival. I like that a lot. It's also neat how Hyo identifies Long Feng from his earthbending.

Also, Hyo checking that his arm is still there amuses me. ^_^ Also, extra yay for stuff about the Dai Li captains and taking care of the Dai Li.

[Long Feng has vanished completely from Fire perceptions, so there will be new headaches for the occupying forces once Azula has vanished.]

I think this sentence is a bit awkwardly phrased and could be made more clear. Also, stylistically, the double use of 'vanish' in the sentence bothers me.

I like the little details about the Dai Li - Alak being disowned, the individual little flavor bits about the four captains. Also, I see we've lost two of the captains we had six years before.

Abbreviated bows remain yay. We need to explain those sometime. ^_^

'Earthquaker'. Yay, slang!

Oh, Azula, you clever little bitch.

It is very interesting that Hyo would leave his precious daughter in Long Feng's care. There really should be more done about the relationship between the two of them.

I like Long Feng smashing through walls in his haste to chase down Hyo.

["How could you do this to me--Cha!"]

^__^

Mi-Cha is utterly adorable. Forever and ever. No wonder she has evil spideruncles to protect her. (Mi-Cha also has two daddies.)

Aw... He didn't die. An someone does like OC fics, especially when they are OCs as entertaining as these.

You made me curious. What happened to Hyo's daughter? Like that you haven't Iroh kill him. I would like to read more, maybe Iroh will be even ready to forgive Hyo...

Interesting point of view of the story. I like your explanation why Azula didn't use the mind changers. It would make it so much easier to control people.

Not that bad, i am a fan of the dai li and its good for their to be a story about them and to explain what happened to lu ten

This was...you don't tend to think of the dai li as people, but somewhere under the robes and hats and creepy mindbending activities there has to be a heart. This story showed it.
And Iroh going angsty-violent was awesome. Did Azula pan it like that so Hyo would die?