The story was great, but there were too many grammatical errors.

wow he was third seat

I loved this! I think I will have to write a story on Isshin and Toshiro. It will most likely be a one or two shot. I am inspired. Very wonderful story!

I just realized you refer to Kaien as Atsuo at one point in here. Other than that I enjoy your story :)

Do you like to say the words "state" and "suddenly" a lot. As I continue to read this story, those words are popping up more and more frequently. There are sentences where those words are not needed. For example:

"He turned down the graduation speech," Rangiku suddenly stated,surprising the two men. "I told you that last night."

"So," Isshin shrugged,scratching his shoulder all of a suddenly,noticing some of the recruits to fidget at this.

"I think Ran-chan's getting at is that the boy isn't one to show off. He never revealed his shikai at the academy," Atsuo stated,having been the one to go through the records.

"Ahh…" Isshin suddenly stated,having had the recruits step up to volunteer, something that helped him to weed out any that were to narcissistic,which was ironic as due to what the flower of the division was. "Start calling the names for the ones that haven't gotten up yet and leave Toshiro for last. Oh,and dismiss the others before we call him up."

"You aren't going to kick him out are you?"
Matsumoto became suddenly worried.

You hit Toshiro, Momo! How could you!? If Bleach was real... Grrrrr...

Great story! I love Toshiro... Not in a romantic way of course.

OMG, I love Hyorinmaru!

Kinda like poking a sleeping snake with a stick.

and so toshiro became a taicho.
in your face aizen MWAHAHAHAHAHA

he called isshin oto-san while in his right mind!
yay go shiro-chan!
note:i hate momo.

"I told her… she touches my hair again, I freeze all her shampoos and conditioners,"
that MUST give her nightmares at night...
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!my shampoooooooooooooo!"
*doubles over with laughter*
yes about the relationship between shiro-chan and isshi-chan is kinda cute especially when he carries toshi under his arm.
the haircut chapter is a chapter to behold.
and really poor atsou died so early such a shame!

I find it highly possible that Isshin would want to adopt Toshiro. I actually can totally see him glomping Shiro-chan and asking "Can I adopt you?" XD

I love this story. Even though it's kind of sad, I can't stop thinking about it and I can't stop reading it.

hey Yemi Hikari,

lately i have been reading some of your toshiro related fan fics and i think they are great! the idea that Isshin could have been the last tenth captain is cool and you have included him really well. the only thing is that half way through some sentences i find myself not understanding what is happening. but when i read on i start to understand it again.

thanks for being one of the few people to wright this type of fic (ones with Isshin and hitsugaya in them), you really get their charater well.

from Tala